AI: It’s my birthday!

For those of you who haven’t heard, today is my birthday. I spent the entire weekend with Masala Skeptic and Carr2d2 (and Tim 3P0 and my husband, too). It was one of those weekends that was so crazy fun that if I tried to explain it all to you, you’d say, “Oh, come on! No one has weekends that fun without lugging a corpse around Miami!” I’m still exhausted from Saturday’s egg rave. There were drinks and laughs and Cthulhus (complete with victims) and Tang and sangria and, at some point, a dude named Hemant and hockey and Mario Kart and incoherent phone calls and pizza in a park and Moose hitting poodles with things… and someone has pictures of it all. Fo’ real, yo.

Saturday night, I vaguely remember discussing Popsicle-molds shaped like people. I said I’d like one shaped like Phil Plait (but Bad Astronsicles is a terrible brand name.)

Last week, for Masala Skeptic’s birthday, she asked you for ideas for skeptically-themed gifts. I’m asking for a different take on that.
What would be the greatest uninvented/undiscovered/imaginary skeptical gift you could give me (or would be willing to give me) if it existed?

The Afternoon Inquisition (or AI) is a question posed to you, the Skepchick community. Look for it to appear daily at 3pm ET.


Elyse MoFo Anders is the bad ass behind forming the Women Thinking, inc and the superhero who launched the Hug Me! I'm Vaccinated campaign as well as podcaster emeritus, writer, slacktivist extraordinaire, cancer survivor and sometimes runs marathons for charity. You probably think she's awesome so you follow her on twitter.

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  1. Ooops, sorry I initially thought it was a gift you’d be skeptical of, not a skeptical gift!

    How about a real workign BS detector that could be put on the table for everyone to see when you go in for an interview, to talk with a car salesman or when people are spouting crap about things they are wholly ignorent of. One look at the BS meter on te table would sure change conversations in a hurry.

  2. The skeptic’s children’s bible. 352 tales from antiquity that will inspire your child to imagine, create, develop a healthy sense of skepticism, love, eat right, use his or her right to vote, develop the next cure for cancer (or at least something better than sliced bread), and inoculate him or her against magical thinking and goddery.

    With a mixture of illustrations both old and new, and apprehensive appendices describing, among other things, the development of the individual tales through the ages, and how the book can be turned into a nutritious gruel in case of famine.

  3. @James Fox: That was my immediate thought, too. I’d like some device which would allow me to distinguish between scam artists and true believers. It would help me formulate my responses.

  4. The lost diary of Paul of Tarsus

    “Aug. 6, 59AD: I can’t believe they actually fell for that whole ‘vision on the road to Damascus’ thing. Pretty flimsy story, I know, and I was gonna revise it later but people are actually eating it up! I’m a friggin’ genius!”

  5. An early working-copy of the bible, with references to the original fictional works. The margins full of redactions, lewd, and snarky comments from the original misogynist authors, editors, and publishers. Complete with a manuscript from the authors begging the publisher not to push such obvious fantasy as “based-on a true story”.

  6. @Steve: Cool pavers! I showed them to my wife. She said “We could escher in a new era in backyard decor!”

    Yeah, I know, but we like puns. It’s why I married her.

    Elyse, I’m a book giving kind of guy. How about an e-book version of Wikipedia (future edition of a date of your choosing) when it holds all of human knowledge of just a few years before. Or a collection of skeptical books (including the ones I want to write, but haven’t started).

    Happy real birthday!

  7. If I were to buy Elyse a treat,
    that was equal parts sexy and pleasant and sweet,
    a magical caldron where I can make you the greatest buzzed aldrin,
    each and every time that we meet.

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