First of all, I just posted a fantastic article on Bostonist about an up-and-coming dead guy in the Catholic Church who may have HEALED a local man of his condition, but really probably didn’t. This post contains a headline so completely moronic I can’t even say it here on Skepchick, so please just go there now and read it. Trust me.
Second of all, the comments this week made me laugh so often that I COULD NOT PICK JUST ONE COMMENT O’ THE WEEK. That’s right: we have two winners. Two! Read on to find out who they are.
When Elyse asked you people to tell her why gay marriage was ruining your lives, you brought the hilarity. SaraDee’s comment came thiiiis close to winning, but in the end I went with the one that got an absolute landslide of votes: Merkuto.
Merkuto // Apr 27, 2009 at 3:35 pm
I KNOW gay marriage is wrong, because God has blessed me with the Rod of Judgment. Whenever I see something TRULY shameful in the eyes of the Lord, he reaches down and points at the sinful exhibition with my 3 inches of Divine Wrath. When an unmarried couple are gettinâ€™ hot and steamy, in preperation for their eternity in hell, my angry trouser-trouper in Godâ€™s eternal army points them out. When two ho-mo-sexuals are witnessed in socket-on-socket action, or joining up their extension cords, the Lord makes his anger known with my MIGHTY, MIGHTY Erection of Engorged Righteousness! Basking in the Lords love, witnessing these sins, Iâ€™m ready for the Eternal Lord and Father to take me right now, RIGHT NOW, up in heaven. I will fear no evil, for thou art with me, thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Take me Jesus! Take me! I will eat of your flesh and drink your bodily fluids until the end of time, only place it upon my tongue, and I will be saved.
I mean really, have you ever read a more blatant attempt to win Comment o’ the Week? ANSWER: YES YOU HAVE read a more blatant attempt. That attempt was made by our second winner, Gabrielbrawley:
Gabrielbrawley // Apr 30, 2009 at 1:30 pm
I donâ€™t think I have ever cited any material of any kind. I am not a professional academic and the comments that I post here are not in a paper that will be reviewed by a professor or a journal for publication. Also, I am, like almost everyone else here, engaged in another life that takes place outside of the cyber realms. I am often squeezing a comment in between taking care of the kids, making dinner or helping with homework. Then again many of my comments are food or booze related. So I am not sure what source material I would sight. Foodnetwork.com says that bleu cheese is great and that you are a very wrong person if you donâ€™t like it? Something like that maybe. I am really just trying to come up with something so witty, so full of sexual innuendo and skeptical goodness that it will win the COTW and I can ask the AI on Wednesday. I already know the question. â€œWhere on the web can I see your boobies?â€ I mean what AI could follow that? We would have to shut the whole process down.
As always, the prize for our winner(s) is to choose next Wednesday’s Afternoon Inquisition. In this case, the Wednesday AI will have two questions, one of which will be Gabriel’s above-mentioned choice. Merkuto, please send me your question, which may or may not have anything to do with Gabriel’s! Both will go live next week.
Congrats and happy Friday everyone!
Oh and PS! Nominate your favorite comment by replying (click the arrow next to the comment) and write “COTW!”