Friday the 13th Comment o’ the Week!

That’s right – in case you didn’t realize it, today is very special because it’s the 13th day of the month and it happens to fall on a Friday, and that means someone wearing a hockey mask will attempt to murder you. So long as you’ve never had sex and you stay out of the basement, you should be okay.

Before I get to the Comment o’ the Week (COTW!), yesterday I held a little contest on Twitter, in which I asked my followers (that sounds very culty, I apologize) to provide me with fun new Darwinian pick-up lines, in honor of both Chuck D.’s birthday and Valentine’s Day. We did this before here on Skepchick with hilarious results, and my Twitter-friends did not disappoint.

You can view the whole lot of them here since they were cleverly marked with the phrase #DarwinPickup. I had a few favorites and thus found it difficult to choose which would receive the coveted prize of a pin (a pin!) with the pick-up line inscribed upon it. I narrowed it down to three:

From @amandable:

Baby, your phenotype makes me want to unload my haploid gametes onto your mammalian protuberances.

Obviously this is awesome and includes a reference to Zappa, AND it was the clear favorite of those people who were following along via my Facebook page. However! Amanda writes for Skepchick and thus is declared ineligible. Aw.

That left the following two, which were retweeted the most:

From Geran_Smith:

If I were an enzyme, I would be DNA Helicase so I could unzip your genes.

and from @ukskeptic:

If I said your body was the product of inherited traits would you hold it against me?

Both of those were so fab, I’m going to declare dual winners! I’ll put each phrase on buttons and make them available in the Skepchick store soon. (They’re not there yet because I have to design them . . . if any graphic designers would like to do it for me, please let me know!) Geran_Smith & UKSkeptic, please send your mailing addresses to me at [email protected] and I’ll get your prizes to you asap.


Since I handed out two winners in the Darwinian pick-up line contest, I’m going to do the same for the COTW. First up is James K, who shares his slightly less than sentimental view of the past:

James KNo Gravatar // Feb 12, 2009 at 10:05 pm

In 16th Century France, cat burning was a common pubic entertainment. People of all classes would come together and delight as a cat dies in the least pleasant way imaginable.

For thousands of years slavery, rape and genocide were the standard practice in war, and war was much more common in the past.

As far as I’m concerned the past can go to hell. I’m only putting up with the present until something better comes along.

I’m thinking of putting that last line on a t-shirt in the store, as well. Brilliant!

The co-winner this week is the amusingly-named CatFurniture, commenting on the news that a woman donated an organ in an uncommon way:

CatFurnitureNo Gravatar // Feb 9, 2009 at 1:10 pm

Is that my kidney in your vagina, or are you just glad to see me?

Short and sweet and filthy, just how we like it here on Skepchick.

Congrats to CatFuniture and James K! You win gads and gads of new pick-up lines, all of which either have to do with Charles Darwin or a kidney emerging from a vagina. Good luck!

PS: New commenters who want to know more about pictures next to your name, commenting rules, and other stuff, check out the info here!

PPS: I got Geran_Smith’s name mixed up with Threexs originally, which Threexs was kind enough to point out. Sorry about that, Geran_Smith!

Rebecca Watson

Rebecca is a writer, speaker, YouTube personality, and unrepentant science nerd. In addition to founding and continuing to run Skepchick, she hosts Quiz-o-Tron, a monthly science-themed quiz show and podcast that pits comedians against nerds. There is an asteroid named in her honor. Twitter @rebeccawatson Mastodon Instagram @actuallyrebeccawatson TikTok @actuallyrebeccawatson YouTube @rebeccawatson BlueSky

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  1. Goodness, I’m blushing! Such an honor! Thanks!
    And no cats were burned during the process of making this post.

  2. hmm… not to be a hater but that DNA helicase line has been around on facebook for at least two years now…

  3. So long as you’ve never had sex and you stay out of the basement, you should be okay.

    As well as not getting caught doing illegal (or even legal, recreational or otherwise) drugs, or just happen to invade the hockey masked psychopath’s territory, you should be fine.

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