I’m the daughter of a mortician. Â I’m good at funerals. Â I know what to do when people say the wrong thing (“It’s probably better this way, he was really sick”,) know what to say if someone asks “Can I touch it?” Â when talking about the dear departed, and even know what to do when the wife, mistress and girlfriend all show up at the same time. (If you’re 16, and an usher at your dad’s funeral home, you stare, slack-jawed when they hug, cry, then compare notes.) Â So death I’ve got: Â I’m sorry for your loss and always have tissues handy.
It’s the times when the news is supposed to be good that I’m not so good. Â More specifically, when the news-giver thinks the news is good (“We’re pregnant!”) Â and I think it’s not-so-good (“And you’ve already got 3 kids! Â And you just got laid off!”) Â That where my tiny black heart really shines, and I lose friends because I just can’t lie convincingly enough. Â I think the lack of this social grace is disturbing, but I can’t seem to cultivate it, no matter how hard I try.
What your social blind spot? Â What do you do to manage it?