- Book rant: Monster – Blake Stacey pointed out this review/rant saying that this is “what happens when creationists are the technical advisers for a thriller.”
- Extraterrestrial cows – Brought to us by Bug Girl, of course.Â
- Tracy’s found her final resting place
- Pink iguanas! –  How long before we see Paris Hilton toting one around in her purse? Here’s the Wired coverage.
- In the future, vaccines will turn kids into brats – And a coalition led by Miley Cyrus will seek to stop it. Thanks Emory.
*Sadness ahead. Do not read if you feel good*
The Star Trek caskets reminded me of the absolute saddest image I have ever seen. I do not troll the internet looking for violence, tragedy, or humiliation, but I still managed to stumble upon a picture from a child’s funeral. You may have seen this picture. A small child’s casket (which breaks the heart instantly), a mother and father, family and friends, all decked out like the Insane Clown Posse.
I can’t imagine the pain of losing a child (I have four and won’t entertain the terrible thought). Toss in juggalos and you have a surreal horror that haunts me in ways I can’t communicate.
I was just sitting here and a voice in my head said, “y’know, extraterrestrial cows and/or pink iguanas would make a great webcomic”. I’m not going to listen to those voices anymore.
Besides, “The Pink Iguana” sounds more like a night club.
Apparently I’m out of the loop.
When did Miley Cyrus have a baby? I thought she went to a purity ball and gave her achy breaky vag to her dad?
haha nevermind. i get jokes
Thanks for the link to FU. I really like this blog and plan to put it on my blogroll.
I picture Paris Hilton with something pink around her purse, but that’s no Iguana.
Hmmm. If cows are aliens, what does that make people from Wisconsin, the Dairy State? :-D
“Pink Iguanas” sounds like a reincarnation of the Village People. “D-A-R-W-I-N!”
I guess the extraterrestrial cows nicely explain the finding that cows tend to point north (http://science.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=08/08/26/1514226) — they’re from Polaris!
I’d just like to say that despite @Ezekiel‘s absolutely terrifyingly sad comment, I found today’s Quickies to be particularly amusing.
I’d also like to mention that I’ve edited my will to declare that my ashes be kept in a Precious Moments urn, which will sit on Tracy’s mantle for no fewer than 10 years, and if these wishes are not fulfilled then she’ll never have access to my vast fortune. MWA HA HA HA HA
That “Monster” book reminds me of a movie I tried to watch recently. It was called “Monster Ark” and was on the SciFi channel Sunday afternoon. Now, I happen to enjoy really bad scifi. This movie, however, was just bad enough to be bad but not quite bad enough to be good.
The plot starts out with archaeologists discovering an older, unedited version of the Old Testament which contains a reference to another Noah’s ark. This one apparently contains a monster so horrible and foul that it must never be released. So what do the archaeologists do? Start on an expedition to find it, of course. All this in the first 25 minutes. I turned it off at that point, so I have no idea how it turned out. I’m guessing they found the monster and it killed everyone. I hope.
Are you sure the cowsmonauts aren’t just an elaborate joke?
Pink Inguana sounds like a sickly sweet girly drink made with rum and raw sugar and a pink snowball on the side.
I’m going to donate my body to whichever biology lab has the hotest female undergrads.
Don’t they actually “burry” people in Star Trek by putting them inside a photon torpedo and shooting them into the nearest star or something?
If only that casket actually looked like a photon torpedo …
I’ll stick with my current idea:
Shooting my ashes out of a 24-pounder with all the assembled guests decked out in full pirate regalia …
Setting preferably somewhere in the Caribbean.
Surprised no one wants their ashes scattered over Jenny McCarthy.
@Elyse: Yup, I was really confused at first too. Jokes are funny. I like jokes.
The book Monster reminds me of the book series “Left Behind”, in that it was about message and not style. The left behind series was such a successful seller I thought it at least has to be a good story, let’s see what all the hype is about. JUST AWFUL. Never mind the religious message and the insinuation that the head of the UN is actually the anti-Christ. Stylistically, it might as well have been written by an 8th grader. How can people read such dribble? The Apocalypse via Revelations could be a great plot line for a novel, but the first book (in a series of about a dozen) was so painful. I like getting lost in a story and even crappy paperback sci-fi novels (a guilty pleasure) but I just couldn’t get into this.
I wonder whether Paris Hilton will be toting a pink iguana around AS her purse.
I now demand the internet give me the lyrics to “Achy Breaky Vag”.
The Internet has failed me!