The porn industry in the U.S. is now seeking federal bailout money.
It’s true. Smut peddlers (god love ’em)Â are asking for assistance as the global financial crisis continues. Hustler publisher Larry Flynt andÂ others said today they willÂ ask Congress to allocate $5 billion for a bailout of the adult entertainment industry.
Now,Â a coupleÂ questionsÂ spring immediately to mind.
First,Â isÂ the U.S. governmentÂ supposed to beÂ a father figure with a fat wallet to every industry?
I personally scoffed at the bank and big three bailouts that have already taken place. I mean, I don’t like to see people lose jobs, butÂ industries can’t just run to daddy for more cash when they screw up and blow all their money on a 3-Card Monte game; especially when daddy don’t have it. They have to be accountable.
And second, is the porn industry really in financial peril? Really?? The porn industry?!?!
Actually, no. Apparently it’s not.
Flynt and Francis concede the industry itself is in no financial danger â€” DVD sales have slipped over the past year, but Web traffic has continued to grow.
But the industry leaders said the issue is a nation in need. “People are too depressed to be sexually active,” Flynt said in the statement. “This is very unhealthy as a nation. Americans can do without cars and such but they cannot do without sex.”
“With all this economic misery and people losing all that money, sex is the farthest thing from their mind. It’s time for congress to rejuvenate the sexual appetite of America. The only way they can do this is by supporting the adult industry and doing it quickly.”
So let’s summarize Larry’s thought process here: My business is not in financial trouble. Internet traffic on porn sites continues to grow. But the nation needs even more sex. Give me $5 billion.
Well, hell. He’s a freakin’ patriot and a hero.
Look, Larry, we all love what you stand for in the areas of free speech and the right to publish images ofÂ kinky, sticky, smokingÂ hot sex betweenÂ two or more people. Keep on rockin’ on that stuff. But unless you’re just trying to make a point in your own way about frivolous government bailouts, maybe you should let this one go.