In most households in the UK, the women do the majority of the housework and cooking, regardless of whether they have a job too. This doesn’t mean we actually work more, at least according to this 2007 survey, apparently men work as hard but concentrate their efforts at the office, where women slack off in their careers but power around the house with a duster and iron. I think this might be what I like to call ‘crap’ but who can doubt a slightly-dated self-report survey? Not me, and the survey, which I only went to find because I am cross about the turkeyFAIL, isn’t even my point – my point is that I did all of the cooking on Christmas Day (the survey is right then!!) and because I am not used to the stupid over-hot oven, my turkey was incinerated. I took it out of the oven to turn it over and the entire thing, enough for 16 people, completely collapsed. It was like santa had landed on it, or as though Israel had decided to get some target practice in on my festive bird. It was as if the turkey had discovered the concept of ‘explosion’ at the exact same moment as ‘implosion’ and decided to try them both out simultaneously. I didn’t have the heart to take a photo but I did want to post this little lament for everyone who did the cooking on Christmas Day. If your turkey was perfect, congratulations. If not, I feel slightly better already.