Moose turns 1 tomorrow. And I am done with breast feeding… I mean done. Stick a fork in these puppies (and drain them for the love of FSM!)
The American Acadamy of Pediatrics recommends boob juice for at least 12-18 months. So honestly, I feel no shame in falling short of my 18-22 month goal. But according to the interwebs, I should. It seems no one weans at 12 months. I’m the first. The very very first. I am a pioneer on the frontier of boobs. I am Amerigo Vesboobi.
But I don’t want to be.
It’s pretty rare that I do anything involving Moose (or not involving Moose for that matter) without researching the hell out of it. It’s difficult for me to just wing it when the health of my son is on the line.
Now I’ve got the added burden of tender, painful boobs and an angry baby who won’t stop grabbing and poking them while crying in frustration. He doesn’t sleep well without nursing which means I do not sleep well without nursing. We’re both exhausted.
According to what I’ve read though, if he’s a year old and doesn’t want to wean, I shouldn’t make him do it because he’s not ready. Apparently my choices for weaning him are either to do it early (and only because I’m going back to work) and gradually swap out a bottle for each nursing session until he’s 100% on bottles, or to just let him do it on his own – you know, when he’s ready to swap milk on tap for beer on tap.
Neither of these seem like good options for me. Since being introduced to the exciting world of straws and sippy cups, Moose thinks bottles are, well… for babies. And cups are not nearly as satisfying as boobs. (Try this experiment: call each of your friends and ask them either a. “Hey, who wants to play with bendy straws?” or b.”Hey, who wants to play with some boobies?”)
So that leaves me with either being a bad mom or letting him use my nipples to play his favorite new game called Look What my Teeth Can Do! Maybe I’m just a wimp because I can’t handle being bitten by tiny, sharp, pearly white flints on body parts already swollen and bloodied by those flints. Or maybe I just hate my kid.
I understand that breastmilk is the best food for infants and toddlers. When Moose was 6 months old, I quit my job to stay home and breastfeed. The whole pumping on the job thing was not working out. I decided that nursing was too important to give up, so I put in my notice. I gave up a second income and human adult contact, not to be a martyr of a mother but because nursing was that important to me.
But now I’m done. And there’s nothing out there to help me help him. Because there’s no rational middle ground in the world of breastfeeding information. To say, “I’m weaning my son at 12 months.” Results in looks of disapproval and confusion from most people I’ve talked to. It’s either disturbingly (or nauseatingly) too long or neglectful and selfish for me to do it so soon. Can it be both? Can it be neither?
Either way, I don’t really care what anyone thinks except Moose. All I’m trying to find is information on how to wean him from the breast after weaning him from a bottle but before he takes his SATs. I’m looking for advice on how to do it, not whether to do it. And it’s not out there.
Why does this topic have to be so devisive? Can’t we just get over the whole “OMG A BOOB!” thing and just talk about it like adults? For the sake of our kids?
(Probably NSFW: I do know Rystefn is going to be disappointed to read this.)
Oh, and happy first birthday, Moose :)