Skepticism

Afternoon Inquisition 8.26

So, if you follow my Twittering, you’ve already had a preview of my burning question: If you could have any one superpower, but to have it you would have to be wearing a superhero suit, how often would you wear the suit?

That’s all you get… I don’t care what superpower, or what the suit looks like; I just wonder how long it would take before you get bored of the power and stop wearing the suit. (Come on, you know you would, don’t even try and lie…)

But to know how long it would take for you to get used to the power and the suit, you’ll have to talk about both things, so better just to start there.

A.real.girl

A B Kovacs is the Director of Døøm at Empty Set Entertainment, a publishing company she co-founded with critical thinker and fiction author Scott Sigler. She considers herself a “Creative Adjacent” — helping creative people be more productive and prolific by managing the logistics of Making for the masses. She's a science nerd, a rabid movie geek, and an unrepentantly voracious reader. She doesn't like chocolate all that much.

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50 Comments

  1. I would never take it off, except for bathing and washing of the suit, Dry Cleaning most likely. I may have to take it off for sex, but I think I could design it so I wouldn’t have to.

  2. Shoot, in my excitement to be the first commenter I answered the wrong question. I like to be prepared. I’m pretty sure I would always wear the suit under my regular clothes, like superman. It’s like a swiss army knife but awesomer. You rarely need it, but you never know when you will so you must always be prepared.

  3. Teleportation. As long as I could teleport my suitcase with me, I’d just bring a change of clothes. No more airports!!!

  4. Shapeshifting

    I just wonder how long it would take before you get bored of the power and stop wearing the suit. (Come on, you know you would, don’t even try and lie…)

    I think you underestimate the raw creative power and uber geek-dom of your readership. ;)

  5. If the power was invisibility, the suit would be superfluous.

    Personally I’d want a power along the lines of superintelligence. Of course, then taking said suit off would then put me back to my normal dull self, so it would have to be a suit that would work in a professional environment if I wanted to use that power to boost my career.

    Then again, working in IT I know that people who are sufficiently genius can get away with whatever bizarre quirks they want so dressing as Batman to come to work might be overlooked.

  6. The power to make anyone (and I mean anyone) think rationally about any subject (talk about world changing) . . . either that or x-ray vision to see more chicks naked. They’re both totally worth whatever spandex or latex or otherex is required of me.

  7. I would have the ability to control gravity, which would give me the ability to be invisible (thank you Einstein), invincible, fly, and make my wife happy when she steps on scale. Therefore, I would never take off the suit, even if it was a ballerina outfit. Not like anyone would mock me, because no one screws with the dude that controls gravity.

  8. The two super powers I’ve always wanted were telekinesis and call lightning. I wouldn’t need to use the telekinesis too often to solve my financial problems and give generously to charity. The list of people I’d want to smite isn’t that long either. So I don’t think I’d be wearing the suit more than once a month.

  9. I would want a suit that grants me the power of selective telepathy (I would hate to listen to people bitch and moan all day), and it would come off only for sleep, washing when it got grungy, and sex (unless it were to be kinky, freaky, telepathy induced hallucination sex). I would definitely want it to be sleek enough to wear under regular clothing, but if that wasn’t possible, I would probably just project an image of myself wearing something less ridiculous to everyone.

  10. This suit, is it wash & wear or dry clean only? ‘Cause that’d make a big difference. I hate having to go to the cleaners.

  11. Would the suit still work if I wore it under my regular clothes? Heck, if it doesn’t matter what the suit looked like couldn’t I just have a superhero suit that looked like regular clothes. Maybe I could dress like the spirit. Hell I have to dress like the spirit sans mask for work everyday anyway. I don’t think I would take it off often or for very long. Then I wouldn’t hardly ever take it off. I’ve been married for awhile so sex wouldn’t be an issue. I guess I would have to take it off to shower and to clean the costume. I guess that would be about all.

  12. Well, really I want a Star Trek transporter, not a super power but I guess Superman’s ability to fly anywhere in about 90 seconds would be a good second choice. Am I being too practical? I’d like to be able to be in different places without having to spend 2o (or 2) hours on a plane!

  13. I would have the power to heal others. I would never take the suit off.* I would charge based on ability to pay and I would donate a lot of money to the otherwise needy. Stephen Hawking would get a freebee.

    *of course, I would wash it and what not.

  14. @ AgnosticOrical: If you had telekinesis, couldn’t you make lightning without extra powers? Or are you saying that is what your powers would be for?

  15. Teleportation! But due to a loop hole in the question my suit would be my birthday suit upon which I could dangle the usual assortment of jeans and t-shirts.

  16. Well, I’d wear it all the time. That would be my moral and ethical responsibility.

    Unless it were itchy or made me look fat. Then to hell with that superpower, you’re on your own.

  17. Gotta be mind control, and even if the appropriate suit is of the birthday variety, you can be sure everyone would think it was the coolest thing they ever saw!!

  18. If it were socially acceptable, I’d wear a superhero costume even for no power.

    I really don’t understand picking any power other than flight, and for none of the practical reasons. I mean just for the freedom and overall coolness. I’d take flight even if I could only fly at one mile an hour. To want to fly is to have a soul. (And no, I don’t believe in souls, but my view still stands…)

    I’d never give up the suit for good. Sure, I’d take it off, probably even for long stretches. But there is no way I would stop wearing it.

  19. llysenwi: “I would have the ability to control gravity, which would give me the ability to be invisible (thank you Einstein), invincible, fly, and make my wife happy when she steps on scale.”

    That’s not a power. That’s a powerset. Cheater.

  20. Teleport. If you’re smart enough and creative enough, it’s the only power you’ll ever need. I’d also brick over my front door for safety purposes.

    I’d pretty much wear it all the time. No real reason not to, right? Actually, with a power like that, NOT wearing it is kind of like driving around without a seatbelt. Sure, 90% of the time, you might not need it, but you never know when it’s going to be the time you do, and by then it’s already too late unless you’re already wearing it.

  21. My suit would be a pair of jeans and a camp shirt (maybe a Margaritaville shirt). That way, I would be incognito most of the time and not have to deal with all the fame and fortune that would follow once people figured out that I had a super power.
    As far as the power goes, I think I’d select hyper-intelligence. That way, any other power i might want would simply be a matter of invention on my part.

  22. I really don’t see an issue on this. After watching many hours of Superhero cartoons, it seems that they always wear the same clothes and costumes. Depending on the power though I don’t see myself really getting bored. If it was teleportation it would become such a common part of my life I might take it for granted, but wouldn’t stop using it.

  23. Josh K wrote:

    I think you underestimate the raw creative power and uber geek-dom of your readership. ;)

    Oh no, my friend. I think we’re quite a creative bunch. But I think we’re genetically programmed to never exist in a state of blissful satisfaction for too long. So, no matter how hawesome your power, or how comfortable your suit, I think we’d all eventually get to the point where we’d leave the suit at home. (I can almost see it… “I was invisible yesterday, I don’t NEED to be invisible every day, right?”)

  24. I would have the ability to control gravity…

    ————–

    Coolest power ever described. Doesn’t this also give you the power to go back in time, or at least stop time?

    I don’t see it getting boring… I mean… grab a good sized asteroid, put a livable atmosphere on it and you have the ultimate Amazing Cruise Ship.

  25. We’ve covered invisibility (so to speak) and I think it’s incompatible with the question.

    So another power that’s nearly as awesome? Teleportation is the obvious one.

    You didn’t define the suit, and (loophole) you didn’t say we couldn’t wear other stuff on top. So if I could wear normal clothes over the top, I’d wear it all the time. If it got too hot in summer, I’d just teleport somewhere cooler.

  26. My suit would be the magic underwear of the Mormons, and my power would be the ability to leap from door to door in a single bound.

  27. I’d want the motivation to stop playing World of Warcraft.

    I’d just wear the suit under my clothes Superman-style for the most part, I guess…assuming the suit I ended up with isn’t all bulky with plastic nipples and utility belts full of Bat Shark Repellent.

  28. I like the idea of the power being teleportation, and my suit would be a bikini that changes colors depending upon my mood, location, and arousal. That way I wouldn’t get bored with it, and I could easily wear something over top of it. Only downside is that it would need laundering on a regular basis. Hm, maybe I need to rethink.

  29. My suit would be the magic underwear of the Mormons, and my power would be the ability to leap from door to door in a single bound.

    And flib, that’s COTW material right there.

  30. my suit would be a bikini that changes colors depending upon my mood, location, and arousal

    Can I change my power to making Rebecca’s bikini change colors depending on her mood, location, and arousal?

  31. my suit would be a bikini that changes colors depending upon my mood, location, and arousal.

    ———————

    Hmm… I too, want a bikini that changes color according to Rebecca’s mood, location, and arousal…

  32. The ability to appear in their bedroom any time their underwear turns green?

    ———–

    No no… control gravity. attract skepchicks. Because I can control gravity

    Your way just leads to a lot of “Damn it Rystefn! I’m not in the mood for a four way!”

  33. Damn it Rystefn! I’m not in the mood for a four way!

    I know all of those words, but when you put then in that order, it just doesn’t make any sense.

  34. I want the ability to fold space, such that I could cause a spaceship (that I was in) to travel light years in little or no time. Then I would spend the rest of my life seeing what’s OUT THERE. I don’t see it getting boring, ever.

    And if I could do that, there is no suit I can imagine that I wouldn’t be willing to wear!

    You’re all welcome to come along. I might even make the trip take some measurable amount of time just to enjoy the many likely discussions/arguments/BS-sessions I could foresee with a group such as this.

    Rebecca can only come if she promises to wear her special bikini, however.

    Wow, this is starting to sound disturbingly like Barbarella! Does your bikini come with thigh-high leather boots, Rebecca?

  35. My superpower would be omnipotence and my costume would… well, it wouldn’t matter since my omnipotence could change the rules of this hypothetical so I can take off my costume. Ha! I win!

  36. Sorry to be a killjoy here, but if you’ll review, you’ll see I was interested in how often one would wear the suit, not what the superpower was. So kakos, sorry, but you don’t win.

    Rystefn… you’re pretty close to win. But you know that already.

  37. Rystefn… you’re pretty close to win. But you know that already.

    Wouldn’t be much of a narcissistic megalomaniac if I didn’t, would I?

  38. a.real.girl, Oh, I know you were interested in how often I would wear the costume. And I responded that I would simply use my superpower such that I didn’t have to wear it to access my superpower, thus rendering the question moot.

    But if you want an answer more in line with the spirit of the hypothetical, my costume would be my birthday suit and I would wear my “costume” all the time, because I’ve always wanted a good excuse to run around butt naked 24/7. And if my superpower happened to allow me to do that without worry from the authorities, all the better.

  39. Okay… I would wear the gravity controlling suit at all times that I wasn’t asleep, in the shower, working out, or having sex.

    My thinking on sleep is right out of “Shattered World”. If you can control gravity, you don’t want to do it while your dreaming. Probably, that was the necromancers mistake in the first place. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from soft sci-fi and fantasy, its that dreams are dangerous things. Look at “Lathe of Heaven”. Start wearing your superpower suit to bed and the next thing you know, everybody’s turned gray and aliens are selling your kitch on street corners.

    If you’ve read “Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex”, you can probably guess why I’d take the suit off for sex. Sure, being able to control gravity will bring me the chicks, but I’d like them to stay the same size, shape, and vitality once they show up.

    Showering… remember that old legend “Bearskin”? The bearskin was magic, and had infinite amounts of money in the pocket. But the guy never took it off, and he ended up with maggots in his arms. Gross. I’d rather stay clean.

    Working out… well, I lift. I would think this bit would be obvious… I mean, if some kid with super powers can’t resist turning his sister into a faceless, mouthless monster, why would I think I could resist giving myself a little help?

    And what does that mean? Someone else would steal my suit and get the superpower. Which means I would have to wear at least one article of it at all times to make it worthless, like a glove or something. But then I’d be all paranoid that someone would shoot me to get the glove, and besides, people would keep hiding their kids from me. Eventually, I’d wear the suit all the time, refuse to shave, start to stink, and in one crystal clear moment, I’d realize that gravity man had to pass on the mantle.

    I’m thinking that owning this suit would make for a tough two weeks.

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