It was suggested that I run this feature on Tuesdays as a tribute to the late Monkey Tuesday. I thought about it, but I have to come clean: I was never a fan of Monkey Tuesday (even after hearing the episode with Skepchick’s very own a.real.girl). Maybe I’m a bad skeptic. Spank me.
Instead I’ve chosen to do High Hat Monkey Hump Day in honor of Hump Day, monkeys, and those who high hat them.
And now, on this very first ever High Hat Monkey Hump Day, I bring you this week’s Monkeys and High Hats after the fold:
Hats to the National Institute of Mental Health for supporting a proposed federal study on chelation therapy in autistic children. Chelation is supposed to cure autism by removing mercury from a child’s body after profit-mongering doctors prey upon vaccinate them.
Repeat after me: Mercury is not in vaccines. Vaccines do not cause autism. Mercury does not cause autism. Chelation therapy to remove autism-inducing vaccine mercury from your child will not work.
That is our battle cry.
The American Heart Association on chelation (emphasis mine):
Can chelation therapy be dangerous?
EDTA [the amino acid used in chelation therapy] isn’t totally safe as a drug. There’s a real danger of kidney failure. (renal tubular necrosis). EDTA can also cause bone marrow depression, shock, low blood pressure (hypotension), convulsions, disturbances of regular heart rhythm (cardiac arrhythmias), allergic-type reactions and respiratory arrest.
In fact, a number of deaths in the United States have been linked with chelation therapy. Also, some people are on dialysis because of kidney failure caused, at least in part, by chelation therapy.
Aside from those risks and the fact that the entire basis for using the therapy in the first place is complete bunk, I guess there’s no real reason to have autistic children who are unable to consent undergo chelation.
Speaking of vaccines, it’s not really news but Pampers has teamed up with Unicef to donate tetanus vaccines to women and their newborns in the developing world. Every package of Pampers = 1 vaccine. As a bonus (for the women and newborns), Pampers buyers can also use their Gifts to Grow points (Pampers’ product loyalty program) to donate more vaccines. Last month, I used my points to get my son a book, a Blockbuster date night for my husband and me, and then donated 45 points for 45 vaccines.
With all the vaccination hysteria, Pampers could have chosen a less controversial project. Monkeys all around!
(I doubt they’re losing many customers though. Anti-vac crowd tend to also believe that disposable diapers shrink kids’ genitalia, make boys permanently sterile, cause asthma, give kids cancer, and kill dogs.)
Hats to Jezebel’s Moe and Tracie appearance on Lizz Winstead’s show “Thinking and Drinking”. They were pretty buzzed at the beginning of the show, and clearly piss drunk by the end. In their drunkenness, Tracie explained that she’s too smart to get raped. And Moe, having been raped, said did not report it “because it was a load of trouble and I had better things to do, like drinking more.” She later went on to talk about how she always “felt safe” around her rapist even after he raped her. When called out on it, they tried to explain that they’re not role models. I admit, if I had a daughter I would probably not encourage her to follow in the footsteps of anyone pseudonymned “SlutMachine”, but as feminist bloggers they do have a responsibility to send good information to young women. Saying that rape victims aren’t very smart and that drinking is more important than stopping rapists is dangerously irresponsible. Perhaps we should write it off as a stupid drunk mistake, but they’re still getting a big ol’ high hat for it.
Larry King keeps promising to air a special on Psychic Kids, but every time I set my DVR, the psychic kids have been preempted for real news (no, seriously!). Congrats on getting rescued, Columbian hostages! And Monkeys for keeping Larry King’s crap off the air!
YouTube gets major high hats for removing “The Godless Girl” from their site. I know I know, copyright infrigement, cease and desist, blah blah blah… who cares? YouTube removed one of the most important videos in Skepchick history, and for that, they must be smoted.
Now those of you unfamiliar with the whole “Monkeys and High Hats” concept can watch the video then follow the comment thread here to see where it all started.
(alternately here if ebedded video doesn’t work)
One more reason Jezebel’s Tracie gets a high hat from me this week is for pointing me to this site on orgasms during childbirth. (fixed link) Apparently, getting off all over your baby’s head is “the gift” of natural birth (and those of us who had epidurals and/or c-sections are wimps missing out on the joy of mastubating with our babies.)
Right now the link seems to be not working, but the site included quotes describing pregnancy as 9 months of foreplay (no one who has ever been pregnant in real life would describe it that way), delivery as the ultimate penetration (:shudder:) and then there was this quote:
“… I held that baby and instantly loved him with my whole being. Maybe this is the way that nature had intended it to be for us. Now, looking back, the only thing I can think is that he went ramrod over my G-spot…all 9 pounds of him.”
If I’m going to brag about 9lbs of anyone going “all ramrod over my G-spot”, I sure as hell better be talking about someone who is not my son and someone who is not a baby… and someone who is not going to let it get back to my husband.
Expect a rant from me in the near future on the topic of “Shut the fuck up with your natural childbirth bullshit”.
That’s all for this week! See you on the 30th for Monkeys and High Hats: New York Monkey Goodness Edition!