The Secret Works!
I knew the Universe would never fail me! For those of you who don’t know, “The Secret” refers to the “Law of Attraction,” aka the belief that you literally create your own reality through your hopes and dreams. First you ask for what you want, then behave as though you already have it, and finally you receive it. So, I wished and wished and wished for the Universe to deliver me one specific thing, acted as though it really existed, and at last it has arrived: Single-horned ‘Unicorn’ deer found in Italy! I’d like to thank The Secret, Oprah, The Universe, Dr. Phil, Britney Spears, Dean Radin, and of course the thousands of children with cancer whose wishes had to be put on hold while mine was answered.
As of press time, I am unable to confirm whether or not the unicorn can poop rainbows, or if vanilla cupcakes with sprinkles tumble from her horn when she tips her head down. However, I must believe — and continue to behave as though — the unicorn possesses these characteristics.
Thanks to Joshua for the heads up!
Wow, that sounds exactly like the Word of Faith Christian doctrine!
That’s so funny. I was about 10 seconds from sending Rebecca an email about this when I decided to check the site first in case she’d already seen it…glad I did!
I think I’d almost rather have a Unideer/deericorn than the typical horse-style, m’self.
That photo must be a fake.
We all know that unicorns were sent off the ark because they kept on poking Noah in the butt at inopportune moments with precise comedy timing.
Unicorns were the Abbott & Costelloes of their time …and will be sorely missed :(
Just in case anyone needs to know WHY the Law of Attraction is bogus:
Sid: I once wrote a one-act comedy play about a second ark that was built to carry all of the dinosaurs. He worked out some trades with Noah, because Noah’s wife didn’t want animals with pointy things, so he got all the unicorns, sabre-toothed tigers, etc. He did manage to convince Noah to give him the pegasuses, uh, pegases, uh pegasi, whatever (a running joke throughout the play).
In other words, he ended up with all the extinct creatures. You can guess what ended up happening.
Back in college days, I remember hearing about a Pagan out West, (Otter G’Zell) who was “breeding” unicorns. (For all I know, he’s still at it.)
The way that worked was (1) There are a few breeds of goats with straight horns, and (2) In a newborn goat, the horn buds are not yet attached to the bone. A little scalp surgery, and presto….
feh, the unicorn is neither invisible nor pink, so it’s quite a poor immitation of the mighty I.P.U. (blessed be her hooves).
When will you people learn nothing can approach the holy might of Her (non)image?
Being as one can make three eyed frogs or one eyed chickens in the lab, I have no problem with single horned deer. Or with four horns. Or two heads. And there’s this handsome feller:
alcari: “feh, the unicorn is neither invisible nor pink,”
No, but the one next to him is.
The best part of the Sex in the City movie was when Samantha is sitting on the beach, reading The Secret. She gives it an eye roll and throws it away. Awesome.
I just got done getting inundated with this nonsense on my vacation in Hawaii. I’ll be damned if I let the Skepchicks shove it down my throat back on the mainland!
Damnit, I’ve been wishing for an iPod and you went and wasted the magic on a goddamned unicorn? Do you have any idea how selfish you are?
OK then …. Rule 34 illustrated on someone’s back.
The mind reels …
But if it’s invisible, how can you tell if it’s pink or not? I take it on faith that invisible unicorns are always pink, personally.
I saw RW’s memo about the clones needing to behave here in the comments, but I’m just to immature not to ask if you actually visualized the unicorn in the picture…you know…doing it?
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