June Contest: Kimbo meets Sylvia

Kimbo Slice and Sylvia Browne are two of the scariest people on earth right now. So Jill and I were wondering what would happen if the two of them met?

Your job is to come up with a scenario for them meeting (a reading, a MMA fight, prison, stuck on an elevator at the Eiffel Tower, in line at the DMV, whatever) and illustrate it for us (keeping the threats of bodily harm to Sylvia to a minimum. )

Your submission can be either a Photoshop or Comic Strip or a Photoshopped Comic Strip.

Spelling doesn’t count. Hilarity does.

Have your submission in by 11:59 pm June 16.

Rebeccca will buy the winner a beer at TAM.


Elyse MoFo Anders is the bad ass behind forming the Women Thinking, inc and the superhero who launched the Hug Me! I'm Vaccinated campaign as well as podcaster emeritus, writer, slacktivist extraordinaire, cancer survivor and sometimes runs marathons for charity. You probably think she's awesome so you follow her on twitter.

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  1. Thanks Elyse for posting this for me—I’m finally home from work and can access Skepchick. How I get through the workday without my skepchick fix, I’ll never know.

    And just so everyone knows, the May contest will be sorted out soon enough and we will be getting your vote to determine the winner. Elyse, Rebecca and I are trying to figure out a polling widget that won’t kill the website softly with its song. Once everything is in the clear, we’ll start the vote-fest.

    And this contest is going to be awesome. I can’t wait to see what crazy creations you all come up with!

  2. Dammit! What if we’re not going to TAM? Can I get a beer gift certificate?

  3. Herra-

    If you are not going to TAM, we’ll get you a rain check, a free beer certificate redeemable from any Skepchick. Show up at any meet up or event where there is both beer and a Skepchick present and cash in! (We’re trying to get you to come drink with us, you see.)

  4. Round 1

    SkepChick commentator 1: Welcome back! Now the event of the evening! In this evening these two celebrities who are going to engage in a no hold barred fight to the finish! And here comes the first fighter!

    SkepChick commentator 2: Yes, we have Kimbo Slice coming in at 6 feet 2 inches! Straight in from Miami and father of six, a master of the mixed martial arts and famous for his one punch knockouts! And the crowd is going wild. Man he is looking for blood!

    SK1: Makes one think how we’ll even fit the words from out sponsor in this.

    SK2: You have that right SK1, because here comes our opposing fighter. 71 years old and self described psychic – Sylvia Brown! Barely a fraction of Kimbo’s size and weighing in at …hang on…200 pounds?…is that right?

    SK1: Must be a mistake…no matter…I reckon this gutsy lady may actually be a match for Kimbo. I mean Kimbo can flatten you wish one punch, but Sylvia is made of pure Teflon. Any hits will slide right off – and look at her fans – with that many crystal wavers something has to happen.

    SK2: Ah blow it out your ear SK1. Something will happen alright, Sylvia will be sent home in a box before the referee can even finish the word ‘fight’.

    SK1: Well some disagreement here. So instead of us arguing…let go now to what you all want to see!

    **Camera zooms to the ring**

    SK1: Okay, referee Elyse is giving the rundown…yadda yadda..blood…kill. The usual stuff.

    SK2: Yeah, typical rubbish. We the fans are here to see grounding and pounding, not any wimpy stuff.

    SK1: Okay, the ref raises his hand and….fight!!

    SK2: And Kimbo lets fly with a TKO punch at Syl and….Oooooo, that had to hurt.

    SK1: Aw man…I heard the crunch and squelch of brains from here.

    SK2: Hang on…Sylvia’s still standing….but I can see the imprint on her face…

    SK1: So can Kimbo…this seems to have thrown him off his stride. He hit her square with a full roundhouse and she’s still just standing there.

    SK2: Wait a minute…no way….its her makeup!

    SK1: What?

    SK2: Sylvia’s makeup. Look….wow she must have trowled on 3-4 inches of the stuff. I stopped the blow!

    SK1: Guess we know how she weights 200 pounds now.

    SK2: Well this is unbelievable. Kimbo is going to have a hard time getting out of this one. He’s going to have to pound off that makeup before he can do any damage

    SK1: And I think he’ll do just that…he seems pissed…he looks like he going for a kick hard enough to make Jabba the Hut wince.

    SK2: And he lets fly and….what the fu… Where did she go…

    SK1: Language SK1, this is a family friendly fantasy blog.

    SK2: She’s done the Heisenberg move…look…she’s occupying 6 differing stances at once, and the moment Kimbo tries to knock her down, she shifts to another location.

    SK1: A very popular move from the school of Sylvia. I think, Man Kimbo is going nuts…swinging at where she may or may not be. Damn…he is going mental!

    SK2: Wait a sec….referee Elyse is calling for a halt…huh. Well how about that…apparently quantum indeterminacy isn’t allowed as it upsets the judges. Apparently they can’t tell if the fighter won or didn’t win.

    SK1: Oooh that’s gotta hurt Sylvia’s defense, he just cut her legs off.

    SK2: And doesn’t Kimbo know it. Damn, that grin he’s wearing could light up the Yankees stadium.

    SK1: Well, at this point I think we’ll take a break for a word from our sponsor

    SK2: Damn, this has to be the upset of the year….

    *cue cheesy add*

  5. Grr, hit the post instead of preview button. Ah wel.

    Did round one on the fly. Will do rounds 2+ later depending on the thrown tomato factor. ;)

  6. To quote one Mr Simpson…doh! I must have missed reading that detail. My bad.

    Ah well, purge it from the comments and I’ll try to find some suitable MST3K images

  7. Ah, see? The way it’s worded makes it sound like that’s an option, rather than a requirement.

    I’m still going minimalist, though. You did say “…keeping the threats of bodily harm to Sylvia to a minimum,” after all. Doesn’t get much more minimal than “pow”.

  8. ok, I added the word “either” hopefully that helps to clear it up.

    Pow is very minimal… yet we can all still assume she is experiencing much pain.

  9. So who won this contest anyway?

    And if it was me, why didn’t rebecca buy me a beer at TAM :(

    Oh right, no beer, only budweiser and other wannabe(er).

  10. OK. So I either missed or didn’t get the notification that you even entered the contest. Grrrrrrr.

    Exarch, you would be the winner. It’s a bit past TAM now. I need to figure out how to make this up to you.

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