June Contest: Kimbo meets Sylvia
Kimbo Slice and Sylvia Browne are two of the scariest people on earth right now. So Jill and I were wondering what would happen if the two of them met?
Your job is to come up with a scenario for them meeting (a reading, a MMA fight, prison, stuck on an elevator at the Eiffel Tower, in line at the DMV, whatever) and illustrate it for us (keeping the threats of bodily harm to Sylvia to a minimum. )
Your submission can be either a Photoshop or Comic Strip or a Photoshopped Comic Strip.
Spelling doesn’t count. Hilarity does.
Have your submission in by 11:59 pm June 16.
Rebeccca will buy the winner a beer at TAM.
Thanks Elyse for posting this for me—I’m finally home from work and can access Skepchick. How I get through the workday without my skepchick fix, I’ll never know.
And just so everyone knows, the May contest will be sorted out soon enough and we will be getting your vote to determine the winner. Elyse, Rebecca and I are trying to figure out a polling widget that won’t kill the website softly with its song. Once everything is in the clear, we’ll start the vote-fest.
And this contest is going to be awesome. I can’t wait to see what crazy creations you all come up with!
I have an idea, I just need to convince someone to draw it for me at the cost of half a beer in the distant land of tomorrow
Dammit! What if we’re not going to TAM? Can I get a beer gift certificate?
If you are not going to TAM, we’ll get you a rain check, a free beer certificate redeemable from any Skepchick. Show up at any meet up or event where there is both beer and a Skepchick present and cash in! (We’re trying to get you to come drink with us, you see.)
SkepChick commentator 1: Welcome back! Now the event of the evening! In this evening these two celebrities who are going to engage in a no hold barred fight to the finish! And here comes the first fighter!
SkepChick commentator 2: Yes, we have Kimbo Slice coming in at 6 feet 2 inches! Straight in from Miami and father of six, a master of the mixed martial arts and famous for his one punch knockouts! And the crowd is going wild. Man he is looking for blood!
SK1: Makes one think how weâ€™ll even fit the words from out sponsor in this.
SK2: You have that right SK1, because here comes our opposing fighter. 71 years old and self described psychic â€“ Sylvia Brown! Barely a fraction of Kimboâ€™s size and weighing in at â€¦hang onâ€¦200 pounds?…is that right?
SK1: Must be a mistakeâ€¦no matterâ€¦I reckon this gutsy lady may actually be a match for Kimbo. I mean Kimbo can flatten you wish one punch, but Sylvia is made of pure Teflon. Any hits will slide right off â€“ and look at her fans â€“ with that many crystal wavers something has to happen.
SK2: Ah blow it out your ear SK1. Something will happen alright, Sylvia will be sent home in a box before the referee can even finish the word â€˜fightâ€™.
SK1: Well some disagreement here. So instead of us arguingâ€¦let go now to what you all want to see!
**Camera zooms to the ring**
SK1: Okay, referee Elyse is giving the rundownâ€¦yadda yadda..bloodâ€¦kill. The usual stuff.
SK2: Yeah, typical rubbish. We the fans are here to see grounding and pounding, not any wimpy stuff.
SK1: Okay, the ref raises his hand andâ€¦.fight!!
SK2: And Kimbo lets fly with a TKO punch at Syl andâ€¦.Oooooo, that had to hurt.
SK1: Aw manâ€¦I heard the crunch and squelch of brains from here.
SK2: Hang onâ€¦Sylvia’s still standingâ€¦.but I can see the imprint on her faceâ€¦
SK1: So can Kimboâ€¦this seems to have thrown him off his stride. He hit her square with a full roundhouse and sheâ€™s still just standing there.
SK2: Wait a minuteâ€¦no wayâ€¦.its her makeup!
SK2: Sylviaâ€™s makeup. Lookâ€¦.wow she must have trowled on 3-4 inches of the stuff. I stopped the blow!
SK1: Guess we know how she weights 200 pounds now.
SK2: Well this is unbelievable. Kimbo is going to have a hard time getting out of this one. Heâ€™s going to have to pound off that makeup before he can do any damage
SK1: And I think heâ€™ll do just thatâ€¦he seems pissedâ€¦he looks like he going for a kick hard enough to make Jabba the Hut wince.
SK2: And he lets fly andâ€¦.what the fuâ€¦ Where did she goâ€¦
SK1: Language SK1, this is a family friendly fantasy blog.
SK2: Sheâ€™s done the Heisenberg moveâ€¦lookâ€¦sheâ€™s occupying 6 differing stances at once, and the moment Kimbo tries to knock her down, she shifts to another location.
SK1: A very popular move from the school of Sylvia. I think, Man Kimbo is going nutsâ€¦swinging at where she may or may not be. Damnâ€¦he is going mental!
SK2: Wait a secâ€¦.referee Elyse is calling for a haltâ€¦huh. Well how about thatâ€¦apparently quantum indeterminacy isnâ€™t allowed as it upsets the judges. Apparently they canâ€™t tell if the fighter won or didnâ€™t win.
SK1: Oooh thatâ€™s gotta hurt Sylviaâ€™s defense, he just cut her legs off.
SK2: And doesnâ€™t Kimbo know it. Damn, that grin heâ€™s wearing could light up the Yankees stadium.
SK1: Well, at this point I think weâ€™ll take a break for a word from our sponsor
SK2: Damn, this has to be the upset of the yearâ€¦.
*cue cheesy add*
Grr, hit the post instead of preview button. Ah wel.
Did round one on the fly. Will do rounds 2+ later depending on the thrown tomato factor. ;)
While your effort was brilliant, the contest is for photoshopped pictures and comic strips :)
To quote one Mr Simpson…doh! I must have missed reading that detail. My bad.
Ah well, purge it from the comments and I’ll try to find some suitable MST3K images
Ah, see? The way it’s worded makes it sound like that’s an option, rather than a requirement.
I’m still going minimalist, though. You did say “…keeping the threats of bodily harm to Sylvia to a minimum,” after all. Doesn’t get much more minimal than “pow”.
ok, I added the word “either” hopefully that helps to clear it up.
Pow is very minimal… yet we can all still assume she is experiencing much pain.
Much clearerer, Elyse.
Well, here’s my best try. But in the unlikely case that I should win, I would prefer a glass of Bushmills rather than beer.
Here it is:
So who won this contest anyway?
And if it was me, why didn’t rebecca buy me a beer at TAM :(
Oh right, no beer, only budweiser and other wannabe(er).
OK. So I either missed or didn’t get the notification that you even entered the contest. Grrrrrrr.
Exarch, you would be the winner. It’s a bit past TAM now. I need to figure out how to make this up to you.
It’s a win by forfait though, but who cares.
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