Comment o’ the Week: Smackdown Edition!

I swear I just ate a pound of sugar and am on my 3rd cup of coffee in an hour. I’m literally buzzing, and I’m not one of those jerks who misuses the word “literally,” like, “I was literally dying with laughter. EMTs were called and at one point my heart stopped functioning.” Anyway, I’m a little on edge and was just asking my coworkers who would win in a fight: a daffodil or a pansy. I go with pansy, since they’re hardier and shorter and have a stupid name so probably fight more tenaciously like little flowery Napoleans. Oh yeah, and it’s time for the Comment o’ the Week!

It was a vicious battle this week, with a lot of posts that were just begging for funny responses like Bug_Girl’s pubic lice adventure. I think my favorite comment there was from Sean: “I eagerly await for the domain name 2girls1crab to be registered.” Ew.

In my ode to old people I particularly loved this quip from scotte: “As far as aged organisms go, it’s only the hegemony of arbitrary soilists that are keeping this shrub down.”

Elyse nominated what ended up being our winner, though: this comment from Little Bald Bastard who responded to writerdd’s Evolution of the Eye video post:

Little Bald BastardNo Gravatar // May 7, 2008 at 5:53 pm

I say that this video is irreducibly awesome. I’m tired of being marginalized by “Big Comments.”

Congrats, LBB! You win all the pubic lice you want from LuvBugz. You can thank me later. From a distance.

Rebecca Watson

Rebecca is a writer, speaker, YouTube personality, and unrepentant science nerd. In addition to founding and continuing to run Skepchick, she hosts Quiz-o-Tron, a monthly science-themed quiz show and podcast that pits comedians against nerds. There is an asteroid named in her honor. Twitter @rebeccawatson Mastodon Instagram @actuallyrebeccawatson TikTok @actuallyrebeccawatson YouTube @rebeccawatson BlueSky

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  1. Oh, stop with the modesty, LBB! I’m sending out 2 million right now. And I’ve made the envelope look like a phone bill, so it’ll be a total surprise!

  2. I’m pretty sure I don’t want to know how you managed to collect two million pubic lice. What you do in your spare time is your business.

    On a related note, it’s very hard to not accidentally type “public” lice.

  3. “On a related note, it’s very hard to not accidentally type “public” lice.”

    Wow. Most people have the opposite problem.

    And hey, you should enjoy your hard-earned prize that I’m glad I didn’t win!

  4. “On a related note, it’s very hard to not accidentally type ‘public’ lice.”

    Unfortunately, I have the opposite typing problem.

  5. Because we’ve been talking about, I’ve been mulling it over, and it appears that I have the typing problem in both directions. When I’m typing “public,” the L keeps wandering off. When I try to type “pubic,” it appears out of nowhere, like the big ending of the world’s lamest magic trick.

  6. As long as you dont keep trying to use ‘pubic telephones’ the roving ‘L’ shouldnt be too much of a problem.

  7. I don’t know if Rebecca (or anyone else here) is familiar with David Cross’ comedy CDs, but he does what I consider to be a hilarious story about the misuse of “literally.”

    It’s about a friend saying he laughed so hard he “literally” s**t himself.

    David Cross acts seriously concerned, saying things like “That must have been horrible,” and “Did you have to find someplace to clean up right away?”

    The friend, of course, doesn’t understand why David Cross thinks this was an actual event.

    I know poop jokes aren’t the highest form of humor, but hey, the rest of the comments are about pubic lice, so…

  8. Yay! My gravatar works now!

    By the way, I recently discovered the Skeptic’s Guide to the Universe podcast and I LITERALLY love it! I’ve been averaging almost two a day during bike rides.

    My favorite Rebecca line so far was about soapy build-up on shower doors and human skin. When it was decided that soap just chemically did not build up on skin, Rebecca said that’s what we should be making shower doors out of.

    Twisted, yes, but I literally (correct usage) laughed out loud.

  9. I know poop jokes aren’t the highest form of humor, but hey, the rest of the comments are about pubic lice, so…

    poop jokes are awesome! they’re way high on my list along with fart jokes.

  10. “I know poop jokes aren’t the highest form of humor…”

    Actually, poop jokes are a fundamental category of humor. They are a statement of the fundamental absurdity of the concept of human dignity. We all like to think we are so much more sophisticated than the rest of the animal kingdom, and yet we have this mundane, organic, rather unpleasant biological function that we must all partake in reminding us that it just isn’t so. How else are we to relieve the stress of this knowledge without poop humor?

    Sexual humor fulfills much the same purpose, but you can choose to not fuck. You can’t choose to not shit. Still, having sex is easily the most absurd thing that humans do, and it too reminds us that we are just animals.

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