Today, April 10, marks the first day of World Homeopathy Awareness Week (who the hell starts the week on a Thursday?). Originally, my plan was to bring you a series of posts, written from my bathroom called “Crap while I Crap”. However, in the interest of sparing you the visual, I have chosen to blog from the couch while I watch TV. Unfortunately “Crap while I watch TV from the Couch” isn’t catchy, fails to convey my feelings about homeopathy, and might lead people to think they should avoid sitting on my couch. Maybe I’ll come up with something clever later in the week.
To get the ball rolling on day one of Homeopathy Awareness Week, I thought I would bring you some information from the site WorldHomeopathy.org. (This is sort of their FAQ, but without the “questions” or “asking” parts. Fortunately, they don’t call actually call it a FAQ, so that’s one thing on the page that’s not misleading or utterly false. They get one fact-based point for that.) Today I bring you their “Top 10 Reasons to Use Homeopathy”
(1) No harmful side effects
A special preparation process called potentisation refines the medicines to remove any toxic side-effects. It is suitable for babies and octogenarians alike and during pregnancy and menopause. However you should only take homeopathic medicines under the guidance of a qualified homeopathic practitioner if you are pregnant.
Not only do you not have to worry about any effects it will have on your sides, but it will have no effect on your front, back, top, bottom, inners or outers either! So unless you consider “not actually doing anything to ease, cure or treat your disease or symptoms” to be a harmful side effect of homeopathic medicine, it is totally 100% safe.
Homeopathy works by stimulating the bodyâ€™s own natural defense mechanism. Although gentle the results may be powerful and long lasting.
Let me break down this one point by point, wrong information struck out and my comments in bold
“Homeopathy works” nope “by stimulating” doesn’t stimulate crap “the bodyâ€™s own natural defense mechanism.” I’ll give this one back to you plus $10 if you can tell me what that “mechanism” is. “Although gentle the results may be powerful and long lasting.” Gentle, yes, but the only “result” will be that you’ll eventually have to pee. Hopefully that effect would not be long lasting.
(3) Easy to take
Homeopathic medicines are given either as small pleasant tasting tablets which dissolve in the mouth, or in liquid form. Granules, powders or drops are available for babies and children.
Just as easy (and effective) as sucking a Tic-Tac or drinking water.
Homeopathic medicines cost surprisingly less than allopathic prescription medication.
I don’t know much about this one since I don’t purchase anything that says “homeopathic” on it. But to compare the cost of prescription drugs that have to undergo pricey processes of research, development and testing to the cost of homeopathic “drugs” that only have to be put into water then declared effective is a little unfair. Also, “natural alternatives” that I’ve seen at my local drug stores often times cost more than their evil western medicine “equivalents”.
(5) Not tested on animals
Humans respond differently to medication than animals do. All homeopathic medication is tested on healthy humans. The symptoms that a substance taken over time elicits in a healthy person, are shown to be exactly those that can be cured in a sick person suffering from those symptoms.
Maybe the no animal testing point has more to do with the fact that your gerbil is immune to the placebo effect?
(6) Preventative treatment
By boosting the bodyâ€™s immune system, homeopathy can help improve a personâ€™s resistance to illness and infections.
I cannot address this particular point better than it was addressed on the Quackcast Podcast episode 22 , “Boost Your Immune System and Die”
I like to avoid dying from my medicine… especially if it’s not going to do anything else to help me feel better.
(7) Patient involvement
Homeopathy takes into account the whole person i.e. it is Holistic. The homeopath will ask many questions, not only about the symptoms which are bothering an individual, but how they react to the condition, as well as wanting to know about general health and lifestyle. Like a practitioner and psychologist in one.
Yeah just like practitioners and psychologists except without having their brains bogged down with all that pesky information from all those years of school.
(8) Value for money
Homeopathic medicines are generally less expensive than conventional medicines. The homeopath will spend a great deal of time getting to the root of your problem. The homeopathic medicines are intended to boost the immune system, making you stronger and less likely to get sick.
Wait, isn’t this just #4 and #6 combined? This is a Top 10 list, no flashback episodes allowed!
(9) Invaluable for first aid
Homeopathic medicines can be safely used the home or workplace to treat simple problems-such as bruises, minor burns, sprains, insect bites and gastric upsets. However more serious or chronic complaints should be treated by a qualified practitioner.
Straight from the horses mouth – don’t use homeopathic remedies for anything that won’t naturally remedy itself!
(10) The medicine of the future
With over 6000 homeopathic medicines in existence and new homeopathic medicines being discovered all the time, Homeopathy is a growing art. However unlike allopathic medicine that takes drugs off the market every year as new side-effects are discovered, homeopaths still use the same medicines they were using 200 years ago with new medicines to broaden their scope. Scientists are only now discovering breakthroughs in quantum physics that helps us to develop a deeper understanding of homeopathy, as it was used 200 years ago.
Yeah remember the good ol’ days of 1808 back when medicine was really effective? Whatever happened to bloodletting or using whiskey as anesthesia? These kids today with their electricity and indoor plumbing have no appreciation for what real medicine was like in its heyday.
If medicine was so good then, why did my family always die of cholera when I played Oregon Trail?
That’s all for today, kids!Â Join me here tomorrow to celebrate World Homeopathy Awareness Week Day 2!