Why don’t they just ask God?

Hahahha. Fred Phelps of Westboro Baptist Church (you know, the God Hates Fags crowd) can’t find Heath Ledger’s funeral. He’s written a letter, asking the family to tell him, because he knows Heath would want him to protest there to save others from going to hell:

If Heath himself could come back to life for a brief period to speak to his loved ones on earth, he would lift up his voice in a hideous scream, to wit: “Listen to Phelps! For god’s sake, listen to Phelps!”

Why don’t they just ask God for directions?


Donna Druchunas is a freelance technical writer and editor and a knitwear designer. When she's not working, she blogs, studies Lithuanian, reads science and sci-fi books, mouths off on atheist forums, and checks her email every three minutes. (She does that when she's working, too.) Although she loves to chat, she can't keep an IM program open or she'd never get anything else done.

Related Articles


  1. Man, you have to wonder what happened to this guy to make homosexuality his trigger. He's not concerned with financial inequity, false imprisonment, hunger, or shaving (all of which are condemned in the bible). His one issue is gay people. Do you think he's afraid of what other people do or afraid of what he will do?

  2. Maybe he was abused as a child?

    My husband always says "takes one to know one" … that is, the biggest homophobes seem to always end up getting outed. It seems to be a kind of projection.

    I read something intersting about this some time ago, that it's always the right-wingers who say gays are all perverts and pedophiles, and that's because they are all so sexually repressed and the gays who are in those communities have to be devious about their sexuality, so it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Those who are open about their sexuality — in liberal communities — have normal sex lives because they are not repressed and they are not living a lie.

    Sexual repression is hugely unhealthy on so many levels, it is one of the worst things about religion in my opinion. (Following after the idea that humans are naturally depraved and need salvation.)

  3. Years ago I worked with a guy who was a classic homophobe. One day when he was giving out his daily ration, I turned to him and said, "Jesus, are you still having that dream where your blowing that guy?"

    There was a long silence.

    "When did I ever tell you about that?" he asked.

    "Just now"

  4. It's true that his "one issue" is homosexuality, but being from his home town, Topeka, KS, I have heard that in the old days when he was a practicing attorney, he was good civil rights lawyer and acutually was on the right side in a lot of cases, standing up for the oppressed.

    The family is made uo mainly of attorneys and they still operate a successful law practice. They are even often hired by peopel who can't stand them and who have been publically opposed to them, but who are in need of a good attorney for unrelated reasons.Don't construe any of this as support on my part, I am as opposed to him as any other right-thinking person.

    They pcket EVERYTHING around here, not just military funerals, with very graphic flourecent signs. I volunteer at a local community theatre and they are there every Friday evening. They have even picketed little kids' dance recitals, concerts, and anything else that they think will draw a crowd.

  5. That letter is horrible. How dare they tell a young man's family that their dead son has gone to hell?

    AUGH!!!! Hatred breeds hatred. I'm trying hard not to hate the haters. But I do. I hate 'em.

  6. God just spoke to me and told me what God REALLY hates are religious leaders that spread hate – God has a special place reserved for them in that not so nice place. Just ask (read) Dante Alighieri.

    Well, the voice in my head said it was God. Come to think of it, the voice in my head sounds a lot like me. Hmmm – maybe _I_ really hate religious leaders that spread hate….


    PS. The other alternative is that I am God. …. Naw.

  7. Switchtech just said something that got me thinking. When did that third commandment"Taking my name in vain" morph into something about using the term God Damn? Hell, I grew up in the south where I got in trouble for saying "God Knows".

    Taking a name in vain, in the military, or in the business world, is when you give an order, falsely claiming it from on high.

    Like telling a family that there son is rotting in hell because god told me so.

  8. If I ever received a letter like that, I'd send them directions to the middle of a desert or something, miles away from anyone. Let them protest out there.

  9. Why doesn't he ask god for directions?

    Oh the inhumanity of that question!

    Because god is a "real man" and he rides a Harley and eats twinkies and char broil steaks and an extra martiin for the road, and that's just for breakfast, and such…

    "Real men" NEVER ask for, nor give, directions. EVER!!!

    We just drive around aimlessly, sniffing the wind, and looking for " a sign".

    Like when god says we might be crazy…


    P.S. Unless our girlfriends happen to be with us and have a map, then we just follow them…(much to our dog's reliief. They've been in the back seat wondering why "real men" are so godamn stupid…)

  10. This is great — the family is "hiding the body for misguided reasons" such as not wanting Phelps and his lot capitalizing on free publicity to spread hatred.

    I am disappointed that the media gave Phelps any air time at all.

    So glad the family shafted Phelps out of some attention.

  11. We should all feel safe having a man like Phelps who knows what God wants. Never mind that Jesus spent the bulk of the new testament talking about the poor and mentioned nary a word about homosexuals.

    Then again, one only has to look at that man to know something is awry. Has anyone try playing West Side Story near him? I don;t think he can help it, he'll break out in sing and flame!

  12. We talked about these nutters only briefly on the TANK Vodcast. If they tried coming here to Australia, I think they would be kicked out on their God loving asses!

  13. v_quixotic: Living here in Topeka, KS, we have been living with jokes about our zip code ever since there have been zip codes. Though not a huge city, Topeka is big enough that we have a dozen or so zip codes. However, they all start with 666.

    The humor is not lost on us, but sometimes it gets a little hold, depending on the intent of the person making the reference. As long as it is said in good natured fun, and not as an attempt to ridicule us as biblcal literalist yokels, we laugh right along with you.

    I know of not one single person who likes the attention the Phelps has brought upon our community. We had been the victims of their antics for years before the rest of the world heard about them. I have had to walk through their picket lines and endure personal insults to get to many events, such as my very young daughters' dance recitials.

    They are a very closed church, with a tall fence built around not only their church building, but also their adjacent homes. They all are members of the same family, and they do not represent the city as a whole.

    Richard S: As for getting their asses kicked if they go to Australia, EVERYONE says that about them wherever they go, but nobody does it. People wonder why we put up with them here in Kansas, and always claim " If they came here…" It's really easy to say things like that from half way around the world.

    They would love to be victims, so please do not advance their agenda by making them victims. They actually try to provoke fights, and if one starts, they crowd around and quickly subdue the peron who threw the punch, and get a few licks in with their picket signs.

    They have their people video taping every protest from a distance. The few occaisions there have been fights, they have won in court because they have had video tape which makes it appear that the other person started it, so they win a judgement and get to claim they are martyrs. The well meaning person who made the mistake of throwing the punch ends up in jail or with a fine, and probably has a few stitches afterwards.

    The entire family is made of of lawyers, and they LOVE litigation. And, as I mentioned in my first post, they are actually good lawyers.

  14. You know, I foresee that in the not too distant future, the reverend himself will end up being carried to a spot in the earth somewhere, and I wonder if people will be picketing HIS funeral and calling his family names.

    I wonder who'll be starting fights THEN.

  15. Well, were I a member of Ledger's family, I'd respond graciously and give him the address of the nearest rockin' gay bar, pretty much like they did in Police Academy.

  16. "I wonder if people will be picketing HIS funeral and calling his family names."

    I think the best revenge would be to completely ignore his eventual funeral.

  17. Yes, Aric. Unfortunately, that probably won't happen. The media will pick up on it, and make a big deal. And the revenge minded will not let it go quietly.

    You can bet that those Westboro attention whores are counting on people picketing his funeral, and anyone who does will be playing right into their hands.

  18. Of course, the very fact of paying them that kind of attention is stooping to their level, so it would be tricky to organize something and still make a good statement.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Back to top button