I am beset with crazy people, as usual. Either here in Georgia with their gods or over in India with their dogs. To crib from one of the corniest jokes around, this is a dyslexic’s nightmare.
I bet she looked fetchingâ€¦
A dude in India married a dog. MY India.
He did it to try to make up for the fact that 15 years ago, he attacked two dogs and stoned them to death. Ever since, he’s suffered from paralysis and loss of hearing and he decided (as one does) that the only way to make up for his crimes and lift the Stoned Puppy Curse is to marry a dog.
Now, it’s been nearly 10 years since my wedding day and maybe times have changed. But surely publicly announcing that you’re marrying a bitch isn’t going to make for a happy and stable marriage. If my husband had done that, he would have been “fixed” right there in front of the cake, completely ruining his chances of getting the deposit back on his tux.
And have these two really thought this through? What about the kids? Are they going to raise them Hindu or choose a religion that’s a little less (yes, I’m saying it) dogmatic? I hope they talked it out beforehand, because every dog I’ve personally known has had no ethical problems with eating beef. In fact, every one of them would knock you on your ass if you stood between them and just a SLIVER of hamburger.
Stupid as all this is, don’t you wish you could have been at the wedding? (As long as you didn’t eat the Milk-Bone cake with chicken gizzard icing.)
Usher: Are you here for the bride are the groom?
Usher: Left side, please.
I think I speak for all dogs when I say, I hope he gets his naughty bits chomped on his wedding night. I got yer karma right here… and I’m taking it under the kitchen table where you can’t get me.
Dear Lord, Please Stop Inflicting Your Mercy On Us
In other crazy people news, as most of you know, Georgia is currently suffering from a major drought. The situation is dire but lucky for us, our governor is Taking Action.
Gov. Sonny Perdue…has asked Georgians to pray for rain today, and at lunchtime will convene with various religious and political leaders on the steps of the state Capitol to seek divine intervention in the state’s months-long drought.
Well that should take care of the problem. I’m sure those bright blue, cloudless skies out there are only temporary.
By the way, kudos to Ed Buckner and the Atlanta Freethought Society who organized a counter protest to the prayer service yesterday. He raised an excellent point:
“Does the God that Sonny Perdue believes in have to be informed about the drought?” Buckner asked. “Doesn’t he know? Or have the important people not appealed to him yet?”
As of the following morning, it hadn’t rained in the area. Maybe some scattered sprinkles, but not enough to refill Lake Lanier. Isn’t this the guy that covered the entire Earth with water up to the highest mountain peak? Gov. Sonny should have given God a deadline. In fact, if God is the master of time, space, and dimension, couldn’t Gov. Sonny have asked him to not just end the drought, but make it not have happened in the first place? (Sonny is also a politician â€“ he could have included a rider to undo global warming).