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Vote for Me!

Recently, I was recruited to run in MIT’s UMOC Contest put on by Alpha Phi Omega. Traditionally, this contest is known as the Ugliest Man On Campus Contest, but this year they decided to switch it up and call it the Unholiest huMan On Campus Contest. As president of the MIT Atheist, Agnostics, and Humanists Club (MITAAH), I was recruited to run.

So, here’s the deal… if you are an MIT student or happen to be wandering through MIT’s campus any time this week, stop by Lobby 10 on the Infinite Corridor and vote for me by putting money in my jar. All the money I earn will be donated to the James Randi Educational Foundation. The person who earns the most money wins!

Also, if you are an MIT student, please email me at [email protected] to volunteer to help out with MITAAH. I’m trying to put some events together for later this semester, and I need all the help I can get!

Here’s The Application I Submitted:

Name: Evelyn Mervine

Class: Course 12 Grad Student ‘11

Charity: James Randi Educational Foundation. Check them out at

Campaign Slogan: No Hell Below Us, Above Us Only Sky

Members of Campaign Staff: The Flying Spaghetti Monster, Houdini (Because he said he would try to come back from the dead, and he hasn’t… not even to support my campaign!), Pigasus (Because when pigs fly, then I’ll believe in God), God (just in case).


Religious Affiliation: None (duh!)

Contagious Diseases: Knowledge, Rampant Darwinism, Personal Moral Responsibility

Last Date Of Prayer: October 26th during Prof. Toomre’s Differential Equations Midterm… because there are no atheists in foxholes or during Diffy Q exams!

Alignment: Atheist Humanist

What do you think of the following people:

Catholic Priests: Low pay and no sex… what are they putting in those communion wafers?

Galileo: Even though his daughter was a nun, he’s still great.

Joan of Arc: Needed a therapist. Badly.

Henry VIII: Quit Catholic Church = good. Founded new church = bad.

Judas: Selling out your friends is bad, but if you’re going to do it hold out for more than twenty pieces of gold.

Ted Haggard: He should become an atheist. We don’t care if he’s gay, though we do care that he’s a liar.

Vlad the Impaler: Good on cereal box, bad in real life.

Essay Questions:

Is there a God? Is so, what do you think of him?
There is no God. For evidence, refer to my grade on Prof. Toomre’s Diffy Q exam.

Blashpheme: A Poem!
Jesus doesn’t love me
Well, I don’t know
Because The Bible
Is historical fiction and fairy tales, not fact.

Why do you think the money raised by this contest should go to the charity you selected?

James Randi is a well-known magician, writer, and leader of the skeptic movement. For years he has promoted science, reason, and critical thinking. Randi takes on supposed psychics, spoonbenders, fortune-tellers, and healers. He tests their claims of supernatural powers and shows how they might use psychology and magician’s tricks to carry out their supposedly miraculous feats. The James Randi Educational Foundation helps run Randi’s extensive website, works to promote science in schools, and hosts events and conferences that bring together magicians, scientists, and skeptics from all over the world. James Randi is one of my personal heroes, and I am proud to support his organization by running for Unholiest huMan On Campus.

Shameless Advertising:

Are you also unholy? Then you might like to learn more about the following organizations. Check them out!

James Randi Educational Foundation:

MIT Atheists, Agnostics, and Humanists Club (MITAAH):
To become involved with MITAAH, come to one of our events or send me an email: [email protected].

The Skeptic Society:


Evelyn is a geologist, writer, traveler, and skeptic residing in Cape Town, South Africa with frequent trips back to the US for work. She has two adorable cats; enjoys hiking, rock climbing, and kayaking; and has a very large rock collection. You can follow her on twitter @GeoEvelyn. She also writes a geology blog called Georneys.

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  1. It's actually been the Ugliest Manifestation On Campus for quite a while now (decades?)…. this is why The Milk (expiration date 10/20/1994) won for so many years.

  2. For evidence, refer to my grade on Prof. Toomre’s Diffy Q exam.

    Sounds like there is a story there. Can we get it?

  3. Go, Evelyn! Alas, being far from MIT academically and physically, the best I can offer is secular moral support.

  4. Damn, my evidence for "there is no God" has been compromised. I got a B on my Diffy Q Exam. But if there really was a God I would have gotten an A, right?

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