Let's ask Professor Science

Wondering what went on inside the creationist amusement park Dinosaur Adventure Land? For those of you who didn’t get a chance to visit Kent Hovind’s pseudoscientific fantasy world before the big nasty government shut it down for lack of building permits, check out this home movie showing some of the “rides.” Footage was shot a few days after the place was closed, so sadly we can’t witness kids actually playing the “Nerve Wracking Ball” game, in which they hold very still and pray while the Lord’s Holy Pendulum rushes at their faces. Another highlight is the Grand Canyon display, in which it is proven that Jesus made the Grand Canyon because of the following unimpeachable trail of logic:

1.) The top of the Canyon is very high, and the bottom is very low.

2.) The Colorado River is at the bottom.

3.) Water does not run uphill.

4.) ????????

5.) Profit Goddidit
It’s all so clear now! I’m sure that once the government sees this information, they’ll admit that Hovind was a genius and release him from his 10-year jail sentence for tax evasion (which may be reduced to five years if his lawyers get their way).

Rebecca Watson

Rebecca is a writer, speaker, YouTube personality, and unrepentant science nerd. In addition to founding and continuing to run Skepchick, she hosts Quiz-o-Tron, a monthly science-themed quiz show and podcast that pits comedians against nerds. There is an asteroid named in her honor. Twitter @rebeccawatson Mastodon Instagram @actuallyrebeccawatson TikTok @actuallyrebeccawatson YouTube @rebeccawatson BlueSky

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  1. Hey! Just before the seven-minute mark, the video starts using the Henry V (1989) soundtrack.

    Just thought I'd point that out, me being a nerd and all.

  2. Hang on a minute. Didn’t Jack and Jill have to go up the hill to fetch the water?

    Surely this disproves Hovind.

    The land of nursery rhymes trumps land of dinosaurs anyday.



  3. The bible also says render on to caesar that which caesar demands, and right now caesar demands building permits.

    Ha! That is surely the funniest man alive.

  4. Apologies for the double post , but while watching the video, I realized I had to follow Blake Stacey‘s lead and add a little bit to my OWN nerd cred:

    The song at about 3:45 is ‘Jesus Gonna Be Here’ by one of my own personal demigods, Mr. Tom Waits. Although I must admit a preference for his ‘Chocolate Jesus’ rather than any of his more ‘normal’ (if one can call ANYTHING Waits has done since about 1983 ‘normal’) spiritual-esque songs.

    I know, it’s not quite as nerdy as recognizing the score to a Shakespeare film, but alas, that’s just one of the many areas in which Blake has me beat. :-D

  5. Oh, my. Well… the sad thing is, upon first glance it just looks like a kinda sad dinosaur exhibit (not out of place in Florida…).

    Ãœber religious people scare me.

  6. I am so bummed. I was really looking forward to going and taking a million pictures and hours of video to post on my blog.

    Now I'll have to actually work for my laughs.


  7. Sometimes, Expatria et al., being a Shakespeare fan can be truly rewarding. For example, today I discovered the best vagina euphemism of all time. Appropriately enough, it's in Romeo and Juliet, Act 2, scene 1: "An open et cetera."

  8. Blake, the Bard was a dirty, dirty man!

    I always found it funny when fellow students would treat Shakespeare as so flowery and pretty and NOT COOL. I'm like, 'You're not reading the same plays/poems I am!' The guy packed passages of pure smut into nearly everything he wrote :-P

  9. Expatria, he was such a family man, too. Not even his own stories, but he was a master at playing with words. :-P

    BTW, regarding that older scrotum thread, you don't look like the Alien with drool* running down your neck after all. But why is that photo made to feel like one needs glasses? Hello – focus! ;-)

    *Nerd cred goes to Blake Stacey on the Alien Loves Predator link; like Xkcd, the dinosaurs with the Calvin smile, Sinfest…he linked them some time ago. Now I see everybody linking to Xkcd, which is a good thing. (Except when he harasses cats.)

  10. Melusine, thanks for the compliment. And re: the blurry photo: It's called ART. Or, more precisely, a bad camera and low lighting. But the few in focus photos I have of myself are outdated and don't really look much like me at the moment.

    I'm not TOO familiar with Xkcd. Perhaps I should add it to my daily reading lists. It's not like I can ever find enough to do when screwing around online :)

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