Are you in a dating rut? Have you stopped looking for “Mr. Right” and started looking for “Mr. Right Now?” Are you easily fooled by charlatans? If you answered “yes” to those questions, you need to click this link right now, and find out how to rearrange your furniture and finally attract that dream man! So long as that dream man is also easily fooled by charlatans, you should be picking out place settings by this time next week. Let’s check out the advice!
Describe what’s wrong with your dating life. Is it stuck? Make sure that all of the windows are easy to open, no doors are sticking, etc., because whatever word you used to describe your love life can usually be applied to your home — literally.
I have a friend who is a widower. I’ll let him know that he should kill and resurrect his house cat in an attempt to literally revitalize his love life.
Think pink. Pink feels like love, so add soft, sensuous things and let them color your corner.
Because what man doesn’t like to get back to his date’s apartment only to go in her bedroom and make sweet, tender love to her on her soft crushed velvet heart pillows? Bonus points if he cries afterward.
Get yourself some space. If your closets and drawers are completely full, nothing new can be added. The same availability carries over into your love life, so be sure to make some room for Mr. Right.
Yep. Make room in your closet for Mr. Right! Are they offering dating advice or tips for serial killers?
Match pairs of things: two like candles, two nightstands, etc. The imagery will help paired energy come your way.
I like to place matched pairs of vibrating sexual aids next to my bed. The imagery helps my dates panic.
Bla bla bla, skipping ahead:
Never keep ”single” stuff lying around. If you’re stuck with a twin bed for now, at least add a guest pillow. Do you use a single-cup coffee maker? It’s time to upgrade to something larger. If you display photos of yourself alone, move them out of this corner. Surrounding yourself with solitary symbols will keep you sleeping single even longer.
Okay, if you’re stuck with a twin bed, move out of your childhood bedroom. No “guest pillow” is going to convince him to sleep with you. If you display photos of yourself alone, get some friends. Seriously. You’re scaring the cable guy.
The Skepchick guide to finding Mr. Right: accept the fact that the only way interior design is going to get you laid is if you’re a gay man.