In 10,000 years, there will be no love.
A researcher has just announced important findings on the future of the human race, which include the splitting of the human race into two new species, as well as the abolishment of love and sympathy. The good news is that before all that happens, in the year 3000, our species will be easily identified as a single race of very tall, tan, athletic people with perky boobs for the ladies and ginormous cocks for the gentlemen.
This study, from the [email protected] department of the London School of Economics, has been sponsored by Bravo, a “men’s sattelite TV channel.” (Didn’t Bravo used to be the gay channel with Inside the Actor’s Studio and Queer Eye? Maybe it’s a different Bravo.) Next week, look forward to a University of Phoenix report detailing new findings that 94% of men are genetically predisposed to be abusive pedophiles, sponsored by Lifetime, Television for Women.
To read about the groundbreaking study on the future of humanity, please see Ben Goldacre’s blog, paying particular attention to the helpful illustrations that made me snort my tea out my nose.
Damn, I wish they would co-ordinate these studies! I'm tired of trying to figure out which sociopathic maladjustments I'm supposed to conform to!
It's like they looked at science and thought "We can do that too!" and then didn't.
If they would have bothered to at least look at history and current scientific knowledge about evolution and speciation, they would have known that in order for a species to "evolve" or "change", they need to be in a situation where the fittest survive. Since we're currently in a situation where every human survives, or at least most survive to a point where they can pass on their genes to a next generation before being murdered by criminals, terrorists or enemy soldiers or succumbing to disease or injury, it's not possible for humanity to start drastically changing, let alone splitting into two separate species.
In order for that to happen, a species has to be in distress. Its survival has to be in jeopardy, on the brink of extinction. At the very least, in order for two "races" to emerge, one half of the human race would have to be cut off completely from the other half. Otherwise, any changes in one group will eventually get transfered to the other group.
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