A Purdue sociologist asks the question we’ve all secretly been wondering: is religion making us fat?
Obviously that’s on the forefront of our minds, as wars erupt all over the place with every side using religion as an excuse to openly despise and kill the other. Sure, a bunch of Jews hate Muslims, a bunch of Muslims hate . . . well, everybody, a bunch of Christians only cheer for the side they hope will win to bring on the end of the world — but let’s focus on the important problems. Like, does Jesus really want us to eat another casserole? The answer is yes, apparently.
The researcher points a finger mainly at Protestants, since they’re one of the only groups to not have ridiculous dietary regulations. Except those crazy fundies who don’t allow alcohol, he says. But really, wouldn’t that help a lot? I mean, I eat a ton but I’m sure that if I just cut out the beer I’d be Keira Knightley. Plus, the article calls Pat Robertson “chubby.” Obviously that reporter has no idea that Pat could leg press her ENTIRE FAMILY if he wanted.
All in all, it seems to be a rather tenuous connection between religion and weight.
Oh, but just in case you think I’m letting religion off the hook this Sunday, you can be assured that I’m plenty pissed off about people who believe in evil spirits destroying ancient Arctic petroglyphs for fear that the etchings will eat their souls.
Final conclusions: religion probably doesn’t make you fat, but it might encourage stupidity. Use at your own risk.