The archbishop of Canterbury has told homosexuals that they need to turn hetero or skip the party, according to an interview conducted last week. Are you still reading? Good, because I would’ve fallen asleep immediately after “archbishop of Canterbury.” I can’t believe that’s even a real person — until now, I was vaguely sure that it was a made up literary device. Someone you invite over for tea and biscuits, only to get an unexpected visit from your deadbeat brother-in-law who has just hilariously started a sheep shearing business in your sitting room and who refuses to leave until he’s dressed all the sheared sheep in tiny sweaters so they don’t get cold and oh my, is that the doorbell?
Anyway, it turns out the archibishop of Canterbury IS a real person and he’s a bigot. Ho hum.
“Ethics is not a matter of a set of abstract rules, it is a matter of living the mind of Christ. That applies to sexual ethics.”
I’m sorry, but did the archbishop just refer to something called “sexual ethics?” What on earth is a sexual ethic, and how does it differ from your average every-day ethic other than the fact that a penis may or may not be involved? If I had to define my own set of “sexual ethics” it would include the following:
1.) If he dumped my best friend, there is a mandatory 15-day waiting period.
2.) Don’t punch lovers in the face unless specifically asked.
3.) “Ow” means “stop.”
4.) No matter how much it looks like they may be enjoying it, kittens are unable to give consent.
There may be a few more, but I’m pretty sure this one isn’t on there:
53.) Don’t sleep with other chicks.
Because that makes no sense.
Says an opposing Labour MP:
“People will feel this is a huge betrayal. Rowan has refashioned the Church of England into a narrow-minded, conservative sect.”
Right. Because this is a new concept.
In other news, the SMART grants I blogged about last week have been revised to include evolutionary biology as an acceptable major. Glad we got that little misunderstanding cleared up, and I’m sure that from now on science is perfectly safe from ignorant politicians.
HA HA HA HA!