I’d like to tell you about my landlady.
She’s quite old and forgetful, though sometimes I think she plays at being forgetful when in fact she’s just cheap and doesn’t want to fix up the apartment. Before I moved in, she assured me that she would provide paint so that I could touch up the walls. She never followed through.
I spent the first six months putting up with a shower that would turn from steaming hot to icy cold every 30 seconds. She wouldn’t fix it until I called the housing inspectors, who cited her. The problem ended up being a broken mixing valve (which costs about $70 to replace).
Eventually, she concocted a plan to drive me out of the apartment and out of the city, first by purposely allowing a crazed drug addict to move in next door. She then supplied him with cocaine and directed him to my door at around 1 a.m., at which point he tried to break in and I had to call the cops. How else to explain such an incident in my neighborhood, which is well-known for generally being quiet and safe?
Then, she coerced the governor of Massachusetts to voice his support for an anti-gay marriage bill, knowing that I strongly oppose such a measure and even performed one of the first gay weddings to take place in the city.
As if that weren’t enough, she hired airplanes to seed the clouds over Boston, resulting in record-setting rainfall that has left the city flooded. This is the most rainfall we’ve seen since 1882. Coincidence? Impossible. She knows about my love of outdoor sports — cycling, football, softball. This is obviously a concerted effort to make me leave her apartment building and possibly the New England area.
Where did I lose you? Was it the cloud seeding? Maybe the suggestion that my elderly landlady has secret connections in the government? See, I started out with an understandable and legitimate complaint. But then I took it a little far and jumped to some obviously ridiculous conclusions, which could make you doubt what I said at the beginning. Maybe it was all a lie. Maybe my landlady is a perfectly nice old lady, because clearly I’m nuts.
This is my biggest problem with the people who believe that a vast government conspiracy lies at the heart of what happened on September 11, 2001. I recently received an e-mail from “Charlie,” who sent me a link to infowars.com. Says Charlie:
The events that unfolded on 9/11 2001 deserve a complete and factual explanation. This should be right up your alley. If you visit these web sites and do no actually LISTEN to the radio show (which is on air for 3 hours each weekday) you will not understand what this is about. This is not a small matter, it is in fact the most relavant and pressing issue of my lifetime and yours. We are talking HUGE.
I try to stay out of political stuff in this blog, because I find it to generally be needlessly divisive. I don’t ascribe to any one political label and tend to decide for myself on issues as they arise, so I don’t want to be labeled as a democrat, a republican, or anything else besides maybe “kick-ass skepchick.” So excuse me for a moment while I say something political, just this once: the Bush administration has continually tried to get away with sneaky, unconstitutional crap and we need to be critical of what they’re doing in order to fight to make sure that our freedom is just as protected from our own president as it is from random terrorists.
Which is why when I go to infowars.com and see the promotion of a conference called “9/11 + the Neo-Con Agenda,” I think, ‘Okay, perhaps they’re talking about how Bush and friends have used the terrorist attacks to increase their political power.’ There are links to news stories concerning possible future terrorist attacks. Fair enough. But when you look a little closer, you find articles likeÃ‚Â “Nexus Points Emerge For Potential Summer Attack,” the first paragraph of which reads:
Numerous nexus points have emerged that suggest major western governments are preparing for a summer terror attack that will come close to but not match 9/11 in scale and will provide the justification needed for an air strike on Iran before the midterm elections in early November.
Wait, did they just say “major western governments?” Why, yes they did. The article goes on to list the supporting evidence that suggests the US government is planning a terrorist attack against its own people, such as ongoing plans to prepare the country for the possibility of terrorist attacks and anonymous US officials telling reporters they expect to see an attempted attack before the end of the year. Right. It’s all so clear now. Wait, no, it’s still just a giant steaming pile of crap. They have no evidence. They have only fuzzy unsupported accusations and assumptions.
This baseless junk does nothing more than make the rest of us look stupid when we insist that the administration is possibly doing shadowy things like, oh, tapping our phone lines. By proclaiming that Bush executed the 9/11 attacks, a theory that has been debunked over and over and over again, these conspiracy theorists undermine truly unbiased skepticism concerning our country’s leaders while taking a gigantic dump all over the memories of the thousands who died that day.
Of course, the crazies should be allowed to say whatever they want in the interest of free speech, but that doesn’t mean the rest of us have to listen to them. Sorry Charlie.