The separation of church and state is a funny thing that seems to be misunderstood by a number of people. Let’s pick one almost at random: Pastor Jeff Carroll of the Cedar Grove Methodist Church in Alabama. He seems to think that the government should not be allowed to impose itself on his organization in any manner, including little details like, oh, building permits. That’s why he didn’t bother to go through the usual channels when “helping” his congregation build their new church. After all, who needs the blessing of some city inspector when you have the holiest blessing around? Let’s check in with the pastor and see how it all went:
Thank God nobody was hurt,” Pastor Jeff Carroll said.
Whoops! Darn that rascally God! He gave his holy blessing and then decided to destroy all the congregation’s hard work the moment it was completely finished. Ho ho, you prankster! Well, let’s all kneel down and thank Him for pulling His holy joke without killing anyone.
Carroll said he focuses on the positives and plans for rebuilding. But questions linger as to who or what is to blame for the cave-in.
Is it not obvious? If the thing were still standing, God would’ve taken all the credit. Why not give Him the same amount of credit now? Well, in the interest of fairness, let’s look around and see if anyone else might be to blame.
The Cedar Grove church designs were assembled by a church member and her daughter after looking at pictures on the Internet, Carroll said.
This makes perfect sense. If I were going to build a large structure that would then be filled with 500 people, the first place I’d go is Google. Let’s do a Google image search for “build church,” shall we?
Okay, this is a good start.
Getting a little tricky, here.
Okay, so we can throw a little blame at God, and maybe a little at the Internet architects. But the biggest ass in this story is probably — you guessed it — the pastor himself.
Carroll, himself a homebuilder, said he was not aware of any requirements and remains unconvinced a government body should have a say in how a church is built.
Good thing ignorance is a legitimate excuse for endangering the lives of 500 people. Wait a second, it’s not! What a dick.
“If the state and the church are separate, I don’t understand why they think they’ve got jurisdiction,” he said.
Here’s where we get into that church/state separation issue. You see, Pastor, unless your religion is based on building shoddy structures and standing under them waiting for death, the government is not infringing upon your precious religious freedoms by telling you to build something safe, you stupid, pathetic kneebiter.
It’s not worrying me and it’s not worrying my congregation,” he said. “We started out with faith and that’s what we’ve still got.”
Of course you’re not worried. I could point a gun at my cat’s head and she wouldn’t be worried in the least. She’d probably roll onto her back and start purring, having plenty of faith that her loving owner will use this shiny new object for new and exciting methods of belly scratching.
Roll over, Pastor! Let’s see that tummy!