All we are saying is give pseudoscience a chance.
Thanks to reader Sunayana for sending me a link to a site that made my brain melt: The International Institute for the Science of Peace. I’d love to attend the Institute and finally achieve that long-sought Master of Hugs degree.
The Institute’s site gives us their scientific definition of peace, nicely summed up in this one blurb hidden amongst mind-bending sentences that are the grammatical equivalent to Pamela Anderson — they look impressive but ultimately make no sense:
Peace is where waves learn to agree to share.
Throughout centuries of war, all this time, the answer was right in front of us: we just need to send waves to preschool.
Here are some of Sunayana’s favorite quotes:
. . . the geometry which allows the lines of pressure in coherent touch to create stabilization among waves (healing), is exactly the physics of what allows magnetic fields in the land to become stabilized and fertile . . .Â
. . . since you can often predict where a war will break out based on loss of conductivity / symmetry in the magnetic lines across the land, therefore there is in principle a way to fix it. Specifically, the science of making the waves of magnetism “Touch Permissive” (which is the same as non-destructive compression), is the activity of making peace . . .
See? It’s so simple!
It appears as though the Institute is just getting started, since most of the site (including any information about research, classes, or degrees) is still under construction. But don’t fret — if you want to hurry to get started on that BS in Therapeutive Snuggling, they do already have a form you can fill out with your name, address, and credit card number.
While the crazies are still trying to manipulate their brainwaves to heal the world, real scientists are using brainwaves for something even cooler — robots! Rav Winston sent me this link about researchers at Honda, who just demonstrated how they can make a robot mimic the movements of a human who is having his brain scanned.
I found the article to be highly suspect — it says it’s from AP, but I haven’t really had time to forget about their credulous reporting of the Bosnian “pyramid” yet. I visited the Honda web site, and after about ten minutes of searching I finally found a press release.
This new BMI technology has enabled the decoding of natural brain activity and the use of the extracted data for the near real-time operation of a robot without an invasive incision of the head and brain. This breakthrough facilitates greater possibilities for new types of interface between machines and the human brain.
While world peace is a nice thing to imagine, using brainwaves to control killer robots to destroy our foes is so much more productive! Go science!
using brainwaves to control killer robots to destroy our foes is so much more productive!
It's also way cooler!
Look you can denigrate the science of peace all you want, but with my trusty Doctorate of Soothology, I will make you forget all of that uncomfortable "hard" science and facilitate your engagement into the soothing arms of the mother science and her magnetomically sciencey sinusoidal waves of scientific love and understanding. Science, science, science, science. See, it's a science, I swear, and remember, I have a PhD from Peace Science University, so you have to call me Dr. of Scientifically Described Peace Science.
Yes, but what can you do about Whirled Peas?
(…Perhaps a few rounds of pea stalks would help….)
Matt, I fear your degree is just a peace of crap.
So can I make someone "Touch Permissive" with a couple of strong magnets?
Actually, you'd need a large, high-density tetrahedral, carbon-based crystal with a density of 3.5 embedded in a small hoop of metal about 19.32 grams per cubic cm in density with an atomic mass of 196.96655 amu.
That would make any number of people amenable to being touched.
Let me guess that carbon based crystal has a nice Mohs hardness.
I was thinking that it might be fun to get a degree in snugglology or a Dr. of hugging. If I was single and a score of years younger it might be a hoot. (not complaining about the current maritial status)
Hey Rebecca,
Check out this website http://www.speed-light.info/ and brace yourself for some of the most ridiculous religious pseudo-science attacks since "Intelligent Design". This nutcase claims that General Relativity was explicitly written in the Quran (think about the theory of "Intelligent Falling"). Einstein beware, you infidel Jew! the Quran is here!…
Hope you don't have a heart condition (even though your posts on your (mis)adventures lead me to believe otherwise) 'cause you'll probably end up laughing like a maniac, the Physics Department of my university sure did!
Cheers,
Jesús Pineda
Those lightspeeders write "Einstein's theory of relativity proves the Quran right". Yeah, that's how "theory" and "proof" work together.
I'm sorry ScubaJim, but they'll never accept you into their Doctor of Hugs program if all you have is a degree in snuggology. You're talking about a PhD course in a major up and coming field of science; you need to take your undergraduate work a little more seriously if you want to be considered.