Director T. Rajeevnath is casting for his latest movie, a biopic of Mother Theresa. I picture him seated at a table with assistant directors and producers, throwing out the names of the most appropriate actors to play the main role. Dame Judi Dench? Too British. Jon Voight? Too pretty. Don Knotts? Dead. Who, then?
At last, just when things seem hopeless and the crew is ready to just give it all up and go back to taking our IT jobs (that was a joke, a joke! I swear!), face-recognition technology comes to the rescue.Ã‚Â Using what surely must be the most advanced software possible, the group gathers around a computer monitor in hushed anticipation, watching as the program finally returns the perfect answer:Paris Hilton.
Ã‚Â Uh . . . hm. I’m not seeing it. Hold on . . .
Okay I still don’t get it. Let’s see what the director has to say:
“Her features resemble Mother Teresa,” director T. Rajeevnath told AFP from the southwestern coastal state of Kerala.
Aha! I see the problem. The crew wasn’t comparing them physically, they were just searching for a match on “features.” Mother Theresa and Paris Hilton actually do share some features, like completely undeserved fame, a piss-poor knowledge of current world problems and how to fix them, and overwhelming vanity.
It’s all so clear now!