Ken Ham’s Ark Park to “Debunk” the Happy Story of Noah
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You may recall that the creationist Ken Ham is currently using taxpayer money to build a full-size replica of Noah’s Ark in Kentucky. That’s kind of like saying you’re building a full-size replica of Hansel & Gretel’s Candy Cabin — who’s really going to argue over the details?
Believe it or not, we’re quickly approaching the opening date of the Ark Park: July 7, 2016. So I decided to check in on Ken and see what he’s up to, which, it turns out, is having a full-on meltdown on Twitter because people are making fun of his boat.
“Those who reject God & believe evolution should blame evolution for all the horrible things in this world as evolution would be the cause,” he wrote, not able to wrap his mind around the idea that natural forces don’t really care if you blame them for things.
“Secularists mock @ArkEncounter as they don’t want to acknowledge they are in need of the Ark of salvation–Noah’s Ark is a picture of Jesus.“ Of course, according to Ham the Great Flood happened 2,000 years before Jesus was even an itch in his daddy’s pants, but I think I get what he’s saying and personally I’m happy to acknowledge it: the Ark is like Jesus, because it saved a ridiculously tiny minority of people while God Himself brutally tortured and murdered millions of others, including babies.
For the record: I agree with Ken Ham. The Christian God is a horrible monster.
Ham is not in any way trying to contradict this reading of the Bible, and in fact the Ark is going to have an entire exhibit debunking the “dangerous” image of Noah as a happy old man surrounded by cute animals and rainbows. Ham wants people to know that it is not a happy children’s story — it is a horror film in which God literally commits mass murder, and he believes that it’s dangerous for kids to grow up thinking otherwise.
This illustrates the fact that Ken Ham has overlapping goals with many atheists: a lot of us believe that if more Christians truly comprehended the horror of the Bible, including the God-sanctioned murders and rapes and slavery and slaughters, they’d wake up, realize that it’s all a bad soap opera, and give up religion.
For that reason, I am interested in seeing the public’s reaction to Ham’s Ark. Yes, it’s disgusting and a blatant violation of church and state that it’s using taxpayer money, but it’s also an interesting experiment. What will happen when the public can truly grasp how incredibly small that boat is, and how overwhelmingly impossible it would be to collect every animal species on the planet onto it? What will happen when moderate Christians realize that these people don’t just think of this as an allegory but as an actual thing that happened? What will kids think when they’re told that their cute images of Noah are evil and dangerous and wrong? If this project is ever completed, maybe we’ll find out.