#GOPDebate Liveblog: Trumpocalypse Now

Super Tuesday is behind us, and Trump is still wreaking havoc on the rest of the GOP candidates. While Ben Carson won’t be at the debate (although he hasn’t officially dropped out), John Kasich is still inexplicably in this thing, so uh… I guess he’ll be on TV tonight? The debate is being hosted by Fox News, and if you don’t have cable it can be live-streamed on their website.

As with previous debates, most of the air time will probably be spent on Trump, Cruz, and Rubio. If Rubio & Cruz have a shred of intelligence between them (I hear that’s one of the topics to be debated tonight), they’ll focus their time on attacking Trump in any way possible. Expect a lot more of this:

It’s important to keep in mind that even though Trump is winning handily so far, only 29% of the delegates are in. But it won’t be that way for long! After March 15th, over half of the delegates will be accounted for, which means we could have a much clearer picture where the GOP nomination will land (let’s be real, it’s almost certainly going to be Trump).

Tonight will also mark the Megyn Kelly v. Trump rematch, so prepare for more sexism. This will be a rare chance to feel bad for Megyn Kelly – yay?

We’ll be posting updates and hot takes all night, so grab the hard liquor… we’re all going to need it.

11:01 PM ET

Well that was decidedly awful. GOOD NIGHT!

10:59 PM ET

I think I saw smoke coming out of Rubio’s gears during his closing statement.

I’ve never been so creeped out by anything, as I was when Cruz said “I will have your back.”

10:55 PM ET

It’s cute how Kasich thinks he could be the nominee.

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10:53 PM ET

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It’s almost over! We can do it!

10:46 PM ET

Trump’s strategy tonight seems to be just yelling “WRONG! WRONG!” over everyone.

10:42 PM ET

Hillary. Stop.

10:40 PM ET

Commercial Break Recap of the night so far:

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10:39 PM ET

“I really hope we don’t see any yoga on this stage.” – Literally the truest thing anyone has said EVER

10:35 PM ET

“It’s the second amendment for a reason. It came second.” – Rubio, basically

10:34 PM ET

Kasich seemed a little less awful than normal on the gay cupcake question, but don’t forget that Obergefell v. Hodges started out as Obergefell v. Kasich.

10:31 PM ET

“Do gay marriage dissenters have rights?” – Man whose name I forgot, with the stupidest question of the night.

10:25 PM ET

The thing that upsets Rubio the most about the Flint Water Crisis is the politicization. I just have one thing to say to him:

10:21 PM ET

Commercial break! And with it, another gif summary.

10:17 PM ET

Governor Kasich is still here! That is the only update I have on this front, because he has put me to sleep.

10:14 PM ET

Why hasn’t Fox News asked Ted Cruz if he is the Zodiac Killer? #ZodiacTruth

10:12 PM ET 

Trump’s totally losing the dog catcher vote now.

10:11 PM ET

Honestly this entire liveblog could just be a link to this tweet.

10:07 PM ET

Trump’s claim that Trump University has a 98% approval rating is a lie, at worst, and just plain shitty math at best.

10:03 PM ET

Trump is actually right that sometimes politicians learn, and should be allowed to change their minds & grow. But um, that’s not what he did here.

10:01 PM ET

People on Reddit think they “tell it like it is” too, but I don’t want any of them to be president.

9:58 PM ET

Commercial Break! Here’s my gif summary of the night so far:

9:55 PM ET

SENATOR CRUZ, YOU DO NOT GET TO SAY “POP OFF.” Stop trying jack Obama’s cool.

Of course no one will say that Senator Cruz is being uppity.

9:54 PM ET

The crowd at the GOP Debate is outright cheering for torture. Stop acting surprised that Trump is the frontrunner.

9:48 PM ET

The crowd seems to be yelling over the moderator (I forgot bland white man’s name, sorry). Anybody catch what they were yelling about?

9:45 PM ET

My pal Tony on Twitter delivered on the dabbing gifs. It was a terrible as you might imagine it would be at a GOP Debate.

9:42 PM ET

Trump: “The border is like a piece of Swiss Cheese.” Um, but Swiss Cheese is delicious?

9:37 PM ET

Somebody please explain this to me. I’m scared.

9:35 PM ET

Twitter is saying that some teenagers behind Megyn Kelly were dabbing. Please send gifs.

9:35 PM ET

Twitter is saying that some teenagers behind Megyn Kelly were dabbing. Please send gifs.

9:31 PM ET

Literally shuddered when Trump told Megyn Kelly, “You look well.”

9:31 PM ET

The fact that Trump has written multiple checks to Hillary Clinton says more about her than him, honestly. #sorrynotsorry

9:28 PM ET

Do you guys think we *really* need a president? I mean…

9:23 PM ET

Fox News is DRAGGING Trump on his many factual inconsistencies when it comes to his spending cut plans. I feel… confused?

9:21 PM ET

One of the worst parts of Donald Trump being the frontrunner is that he falsely makes the rest of the GOP look OK. They aren’t.

9:15 PM ET

Trump’s claim that he’s the only one who can beat Hillary is simply false. In fact, he’s one of the worst performers against her, according to aggregate polls.

9:14 PM ET

Megyn Kelly: “After this we’re going to have to go to Governor Kasich.” Megyn Kelly sounds as happy about this as everyone else.

9:10 PM ET

“We’re the only candidate that has beaten Donald Trump over and over again.” Not technically false, he beat Trump four times, out of 14.

9:08 PM ET

Oh dear. Donald Trump just referenced the size of his penis… on national television. The GOP Presidential frontrunner just took time to correct the record ON HIS DICK.

9:07 PM ET

Did Trump just incorrectly call the Ku Klux Klan the KLU Klux Klan – twice? Is this is way of tricking us into thinking he doesn’t know anything about them?

9:03 PM ET

And we’re off! All I think of when I see Ted Cruz is this tweet:

Leave a Reply

  1. Oh dear. Donald Trump just referenced the size of his penis… on national television. The GOP Presidential frontrunner just took time to correct the record ON HIS DICK.

    ?

    I mean, it’s Trump, but still – ???

    Any chance of an actual quote?

  2. The penis thing didn’t surprise me, considering the Birthers’ obsession with Obama’s penis. (Hilariously, this means that I wasn’t born here, and a friend of mine who was actually born in Jerusalem was, though the State Department says he wasn’t born in any country, so, who knows? Oh, and most men in Kenya are circumcised, either in indigenous or Islamic tradition, but I digress to the point of nesting digressions in my digressions.)

    Regarding Hillary, she doesn’t actually do that well against any of the other Republicans, and her numbers against Trump make me uncomfortable. (TBH, anything less than 60-40 makes me uncomfortable against Trump, and even then, I know I have to look askance at two out of three people.) So saying Trump is the only one who can beat Hillary may actually be the lulziest moment.

    Wow, congratulations on Fox News for developing a sense of honesty…while asking Trump questions.

    I can understand their reasoning: For some reason which I’m sure has nothing to do with a half-century of appealing to proud racists, black voters find the GOP so revolting that >80% of black people vote for the Democrat consistently. The GOP has been trying to find their ‘black people’; they’ve been more successful with Cubans than with other minorities, but Bush did at least attempt to understand minorities. (Speaking personally, many of Hillary Clinton’s positions could put a more moderate GOP in a place to nab a few Indians, but the current GOP is hardly…moderate.) Trump doesn’t just piss on that effort. He pours several gallons of kerosene on it and lights a match.

    You know what I say? Anyone connected to the KKK is someone you don’t want to be around.

    I don’t know what’s worse: Lying about a 98% approval rating, or bad math when talking about your diploma mill.

    The Republicans need to get Gary Bauer to run. Everyone knows a right bower beats a trump ace (pronounced, of course, like in Shakespeare’s day).

    Okay, that’s it. Push the button, Frank.

    • While I don’t believe all the BS about Bernie’s electability, I wish other Bernie supporters would stop trotting out that questionable (and old I might add) poll about how much better Bernie is then Hillary against the various Republicans.

      The Democrats will have no problem against any of the Republicans this year, Trump is simply the easiest to defeat. That is barring something huge like an indictment (which simply won’t happen).

      Trump is getting around 40% of the Republican vote right now and he doesn’t appeal to enough people outside of his current supporters to make up the difference even with those who will hold their noses and vote for him or any POed Bernie supporters that vote for Trump in a huff.

      Trump is a joke and I am seriously starting to believe that he is a stalking horse for Hillary.

      • I guess it all depends. I wish Nate Silver wouldn’t have invented “polls plus”. I honestly couldn’t give a wit who people claiming to represent me endorse. (And we’ve seen civil rights icons fall on their swords for Hillary, so you know my opinion.)

        But if we’re looking at Führer Trompf in November, we know it’s the Hillbots’ fault for pushing a known loser a second time because “her turn”. (What’s really funny is, Kos understands that Debbie Wasserman-Schultz is a problem, but he doesn’t realize that as long as the Clintons are still influential within the party apparatus, Debbie will have a place on the DNC, no matter how many times she endorses Republicans.)

        What I’ve learned about race in this election is…actually quite lulzy. For instance, the time Clinton called Sanders a xenophobe for…siding with the Southern Poverty Law Center and the National Council of La Raza against Bush’s guest worker program.