If you’re still scrambling for costume ideas, fret no more! This Halloween, your kid can be the spoOoOoOOOkiest kid on the block, with these unique, DIY costumes! I’ve done some digging, using mostly “natural” parenting blogs as inspiration, to come up with these truly scary costumes for children (or adults, if you can handle it). These costumes represent some of the scariest things about modern times and science. Your kid may not believe in monsters now, but they will truly know the face of evil once they gaze upon these outfits.
(Evil) Infant Formula
You just became a new parent–congrats! You’re planning on exclusively breastfeeding, right? Wait, you’re using FORMULA for whatever valid reason? WHY DO YOU HATE BABIES??
In fact, I heard that once, there was a genius baby, but her mom totally didn’t like breastfeeding and chose to feed her formula, and instead of being smart, SHE WAS DAMAGED FOREVER AND HER IQ NEVER RECOVERED!! Aaahhhh!!
This costume will scare: hardcore lactivists; mothers who never had breastfeeding issues and therefore judge others who need to use formula; people who are more concerned with breastfeeding than trying to give an infant the nutrition they need (if that nutrition happens to come from formula).
(Evil) GMO Corn
I was on Facebook the other day and I totally saw that picture. You know the one, where the squirrel ate all the organic corn but didn’t touch the GMO corn? That PROVES that GMOs are EEEEVIL and must not be trusted! If that’s not a valid argument against GMOs, then I don’t know what logical arguments and evidence-based reasoning are.
If you really want to scare people, dress up like this GMO corn. It looks like regular corn, but it’s evil, because someone in a science lab made the corn seeds with CHEMICALS and ARTIFICIALNESS. OOOoooOOOOooo!
In fact, you could go further and be a corn SUPERVILLIAN. And your origin story would be that one day, you ate some GMOs, and you gained super-powers. (Evil ones, of course.) Just like Spiderman except with corn-themed powers!
This costume will scare: anyone in favor of GMO-labeling; people who don’t understand science; anyone who says “Monsanto” in casual conversation.
(Evil) Syringe full of (Evil) Vaccines
Regardless of what countless numbers of peer-reviewed, scientific articles have to say, it’s a proven fact that Vaccines Cause Autism. And I know this, because that one scientist published one study full of data (“bad data,” as “they” would have you believe) that has since been retracted and disproved. I spent literally days researching this and therefore have an expert opinion.
This costume will scare: “Natural Medicine” advocates; people who throw “chicken-pox parties”; people who don’t have an understanding of immunology and don’t trust scientific consensus; people who think that autism is the worst “disease” ever; people who put their kids on “delayed vaccine schedules” for no intelligible medical reason; well-educated, rich, white liberals who don’t have appropriate scientific degrees but who are “experts” on science.