Feminism

Captain America: The Winter Soldier Script Changes

I know I’m a late adopter, but I only just saw the second Captain America film even though a bunch of my friends loved it and the reviews were pretty positive. I did enjoy it, but as I Tweeted, there was one major disappointment (SPOILERS FOLLOW FOR THE REST OF THE POST!):

That Tweet got tons of responses agreeing with me wholeheartedly. With that in mind, I’ve prepared this alternate script that you can imagine the next time you watch this movie or whenever you remember it fondly.

+++

LOCATION: THE MALL, JUST AFTER NICK FURY “DIES”

BLACK WIDOW: (TO CAPTAIN AMERICA) I’m going to use this totally OP face-changing device to disguise myself while I see what’s on this flash drive at the Apple Store. I’ll look like an old lady, check things out, and slip right past the S.H.I.E.L.D./Hydra agents so we can make our getaway.

CAPTAIN AMERICA: (TO BLACK WIDOW) Great, that’s a pretty awesome device and a clever plan that will be entertaining to watch. You should hang onto that device because I bet it’ll come in handy later.

BLACK WIDOW: (TO CAPTAIN AMERICA) Good thinking.

++MUCH LATER++

LOCATION: S.H.I.E.L.D. HEADQUARTERS, JUST AFTER NICK FURY SHOWS UP ALIVE AND ROBERT REDFORD IS ALL, ‘AH, SHIIIIIIIIT’

COUNCILWOMAN HAWLEY (DISARMS ROBERT REDFORD, MURDERS A BUNCH OF MOTHERFUCKERS)

NICK FURY: Good job, Natasha.

COUNCILWOMAN HAWLEY: Who’s Natasha?

COUNCILMAN SINGH (FACE MELTS OFF AND BECOMES NATASHA): Um, I’m over here.

NICK FURY: (TO COUNCILWOMAN HAWLEY) Then who the fuck are you?

COUNCILWOMAN HAWLEY: I’m Councilwoman Hawley, dipshit. Your boss?

BLACK WIDOW: And how did you disable all these agents by yourself?

COUNCILWOMAN HAWLEY: What, you think they promoted me to the Council from the mail room? Bitch, please, I’ve been murdering bad guys since you were in diapers. Also Robert Redford is like 100 years old, so I figured I could take him.

BLACK WIDOW: Are you looking for a protégé of some sort?

COUNCILWOMAN HAWLEY: In fact I am. Let’s go back to my place and we’ll eat nachos and share tips on murdering people with just our thighs.

(BLACK WIDOW AND COUNCILWOMAN HAWLEY EXIT, LAUGHING AND CHATTING)

++++

I think that both the writers of Captain America (Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely) as well as the actor playing Councilwoman Hawley (the fabulous Jenny Agutter) will appreciate these changes, and maybe even incorporate them in the Blu-Ray release. Not only do these changes allow the audience the satisfaction of getting a new kickass character involved, but also this otherwise great movie now passes the Bechdel test. Everybody wins!

Featured image: Jenny Agutter, BAMF

Rebecca Watson

Rebecca leads a team of skeptical female activists at Skepchick.org. She travels around the world delivering entertaining talks on science, atheism, feminism, and skepticism. There is currently an asteroid orbiting the sun with her name on it. You can follow her every fascinating move on Twitter or on Google+.

Related Articles

13 Comments

  1. Whaler, you don’t have to make up a backstory. Jenny Agutter had a character in the early seasons of the BBC show Spooks (known in the States as MI5). Not a very nice character, but certainly a badass.

    Rebecca, I think that sense of disappointment was pretty universal from what I’ve read on various geek sites. Even among people who couldn’t even spell “Bechdel Test.”

  2. I was also kind of bummed about that. I was super excited for a brief moment that the councilwoman was a total badass, then a little disappointed.

    I’d make some comment here about how it leaves less of a plothole because wouldn’t Redford know about how much of a badass the councilwoman was, but who fucking cares, it’s a fucking superhero movie! PLOTHOLES FOR EVERYONE IF IT’S MORE AWESOME!

    1. Yeah, like in the Bletchley Circle, when they’re discussing how to catch the serial killer, since he’s a guy, does that pass the Bechdel test? (Spoiler: in the second series, part 2, when the bad guy is a women, it certainly passes. And of course, there are dozens of scenes where they are discussing cryptography, train schedules, etc. which certainly qualify.)

    2. I had a related question, which was, if there is a reference to a conversation two female characters have off screen (or are going to have off screen) that isn’t about a man/men, does that pass the Bechdel test? I would have to vote no, because then every movie with a music video sequence of women trying on different outfits implies a discussion about clothes and make up, and thus, passes the Bechdel test for the wrong reasons.

      But I still love the scene idea. And why didn’t she use the disguise earlier? Totally missed that.

      1. Well, the original point of the Bechdel test was to show that in Hollywood, way too many people are of the opinion that women’s lives revolve around men.

        It’s not something so much about an individual case as about a trend. Similar to how so many women in comics die for the (male) hero’s character development. Or how the default choice for a woman’s backstory is rape, when fictional men are traumatized in other ways, but rarely is it something sexualized.

  3. For me, Jenny Agutter will always be Jessica in Logan’s Run, and the nurse in “An American Werewolf in London”. Yes, some eye candy there, but both interesting characters also.

Leave a Reply

Close