Watch this video beginning to end, but be warned: after you finish it, you’ll receive a phone call from a mysterious person telling you that in seven days, Richard Dawkins will crawl out of your television and turn you into an atheist:
EDIT: For those who don’t have the patience or ability to appreciate the video, fellow Skepchick contributor/Queereka editor Will Robertson has provided this pseudo-transcript (SPOILERS!):
- Dawkins: Blah blah design blah blah natural selection blah blah. Blah blah planes are designed, birds are not blah blah. Speciation blah blah.
- Dawkins: Life began with a single bacterium-like ancestor living between 3-4 billion years ago. Really? I’m pretty sure this is speculation.
- Dawkins: Genes are replicators. But not the only kind! THERE ARE ALSO MEMES!
I feel my pulse shoot up. This is about to give me a brain aneurysm.
- Dawkins: Blah blah memes blah blah anything that spreads by imitation is a meme. Blah blah selfish gene selfish meme blah blah.
- Dawkins: Blah blah 1976 blah memes are like viruses, religion is specifically a virus of the mind! Aren’t I smart???
- Dawkins: Memes are the same as genes, but they work differently! (wot?)
- Dawkins: Your memes continue on after you die but your genes may or may not! FAMOUS WHITE GUYS MEMES WORK HARD!
- Dawkins: I’d rather spread memes than genes anyway!
good news for his sex partners! And for us!
- Dawkins: Internet memes have hijacked his original idea! HOW DARE THE INTERNET! They are altered deliberately, and designed.
I see where this is going! Internet memes are like creationism!
- Dawkins: Mutation in the mind……
weird trippy video thing starts
Disembodied Dawkins head floating around on screen on stage like we’re all on acid and this is all a nightmare
A horrible auto-tuned song + music video on the screen is going–it hurts, make it stop.
- Dawkins: Something about hedgehogs.
Horrible song continues.
Only 1 minute and 40 seconds left!
This feels like the scene from LOST where Desmond (I think?) is locked in a room with a video on repeat
Dawkins returns to stage, is either really or pretending to play some fucked up electronic woodwind recorder instrument.
A dolphin was eaten by Nessie in the background
Fade to black, applause applause applause