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Early 19th Century Dinosaur Hoax Uncovered!

As of late, I have taken time away from chemistry as I got bored with the mundane nature of chemical bonding. Instead, I have focused my investigative effort to understand the truth about dinosaurs. Hopefully, I can adequately explain the conspiracy that has been unfolding. The short of it is dinosaurs never existed.

Secret society creator, Sir Richard Owen
Secret society creator, Sir Richard Owen

Sir Richard Owen, the paleontologist that ‘discovered’ the first dinosaur fossil, headed and created a secret society with the end goal of providing elite paleontologists with additional personal revenue. The head council members created dinosaur bones made of materials of age that resemble skeletons of these creatures we know today. They created extensive logs and buried these bones throughout the world with specific dates and times for them to be revealed to the public.

As the preverbal torch got passed through generations of paleontologists, the secret society was maintained in secret until now. The league of extraordinary paleontologists have been careful to do all of their own testing to examine the ages of ‘discovered’ skeletons, while simultaneously perpetrating the hoax by creating and burying more dinosaur bones all over the Earth. Tests like carbon dating have never been performed by people outside of the secret society, which keeps the coup of dinosaur existence alive.

the-lost-worldThis plan first began generating revenue for elite paleontologists when suspected member, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, wrote and supported the film adaptation of The Lost World. The film was a giant success educating the masses about these creatures created in the minds of few. This lie got perpetuated through generations by continual collaborations with Hollywood and film makers across the globe. Gojira, a 1954 Japanese film, popularized dinosaurs in Japan. Movies such as King Kong (1933), The Land that Time Forgot (1975), The Land Before Time (1988), When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth (1970), and Ice Age (2002) are all known to have writers in the secret society that now encompasses many different creative minds. The real pay off for the paleontologists is a result of Steven Spielberg’s (another possible secret society member) Jurassic Park series. This film series alone has raked in over a billion dollars of our hard earned cash.

spielbergYou can see that Sir Owen’s secret society formation has paid off in dividends. Paleontologists and film makers alike have benefitted from the elaborate engineering that first began in the early 19th century. Please join me in spreading the news far and wide as it has blown my mind and deeply impacted my life. The facts are there. Everyone, everywhere needs to be made aware.

 

Jacqueline

Jacqueline, a true Floridian, wandered up to the tundra of Athens, Georgia to receive her PhD in computational quantum chemistry. Returning to her roots, she is currently working as a postdoctoral researcher in Tampa in the field of computational biochemistry investigating the wonders of penicillin-like drugs. When she is not slaving over the computer, her varied interests include international travel, Brazilian jiu jitsu, kickboxing, fancy food, (American) football, and Belgian quadrupels. She is also the founder of EligibleReceiver.com, a football blog with an exclusive female writing staff. Check out her sports ramblings there or follow her on Twitter @jhargis9.

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5 Comments

  1. Jacqueline,

    LOL! This actually sounds like something a creationist would come up with!

  2. Very nice synopsis about what I always suspected -that dinosaurs were a hoax. Well done. Now, turn that skeptical and all-discerning eye towards the next hoax I would like to see exposed…tree surgeons. I suspect they are NOT real doctors.

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