It occurred to me that I might be a grown up. I mean, I look around and all my friends are like full grown fucking adults. They have jobs, own businesses, own houses… some of them own multiple houses. They have cars. And graduate degrees. And then I was like wow… I’m 36 and married and have kids and know people with houses and jobs and graduate degrees and they’re not my mom’s friends. What the fuck?
You know, here I am, sitting on the couch, watching…
C-SPAN, MSNBC, a documentary on sustainability, Snooki being interviewed on an internet talk show… and I’m like really? This is what being an adult is like? I mean, I guess I can buy all the boxes of wine I want. And swear on the fucking internet without my dad grounding me from the internet. And if I had a job and money I could even go out as late as I want… which isn’t much past midnight because I’m tired and have shit to do in the morning… like going to the grocery store and picking up my kids’ inhalers from the pharmacy.
And I’m even rushing this post because I spent the morning cleaning my apartment, cooking dinner (because I seriously insist that fries and Corn Pops do not count as an acceptable dinner), medicating my sick kid, and maybe reading an article on NPR about why Beyonce would be an awesome scientist. The NPR thing almost counts as slackery kid shit except it’s NPfuckingR (HA! TAKE THAT, DAD!). Cool kids do not read NPR. Cool grown ups do. So I’m either a really uncool 36 year old teenager or a bad ass adult. A bad ass adult who really sort of feels like a kid in a grown up lady’s body and has no idea what she’s doing and is all like WHOA WHAT?! But a bad ass nonetheless.
So… weird, right? Are you a grown up? Do you FEEL like a grown up? Is it weird to you talking to other grown ups like you’re one of them? How do you know when you’re a grown up? Does it feel good? Is it better than that thing where you eat a jar of gummy bear vitamins for breakfast because they’re candy but healthy?
The Afternoon Inquisition (or AI) is a question posed to you, the Skepchick community. Look for it to appear Sundays, Tuesdays and Thursdays at 3pm ET.
ETA: um… you know how twice in this article I say I’m 36? I’m not. I’m 35. I’m apparently an adult who doesn’t know how old she is but has an idea about roughly how old she might be…. because years are hard, yo.