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Skepchick Quickies 12.24


Happy Christmas Eve, everyone! I will be celebrating by enjoying my family’s appetizer buffet and watching TV while everyone else goes out to the midnight church service. Do you have any traditions you will follow tonight?

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  1. As a malevolent, hate-filled atheist out to destroy Christmas, I will help bake Christmas cookies, make a loaf of bread shaped like Santa’s head (I decapitated Santa!) and then later attend the Christmas Eve service at my son’s church with him. It’s important to him and I love him (as if such a thing is possible for an atheist, hah!) and I will actually enjoy it. They usually have a good bell choir, and I like some of the Christmas songs so long as I don’t pay close attention to the words. I can nap through the praying.

    After the service I will visit with the church members, who are pretty nice (it’s a very liberal church, which helps) and then go home, fill the stockings (with bitterness, or maybe candy), then go to sleep.

    In the morning, my daughter and son-in-law will come over and we’ll all have breakfast and mimosas and open some presents. Santa’s head will be devoured. In the afternoon, we’ll go to a movie or something. I might have to work a bit because I’m a little behind on a project, but not too badly so.

    So, basically, Christmas is gonna be really sorry when I get through with it. Bwa hah hah.

    • I don’t have to go to church anymore, but when I did my fav part was communion. Lutherans get sweet wine and real, fresh bread! Yum. Also I used to go to the German Xmas Eve service because they had the best cookies and I could practice my own German.

  2. Appropriate to show off Saturn during, what else, Saturnalia!

    I’ll celebrate in my usual way; following everyone else’s traditions that surround me, while I feel miserable inside. Gets worse each year.
    I found I was happiest when I didn’t participate in all the Christian-centric crap.

    • You sound exactly like me. I had a serious case of xmas blahs yesterday. Seriously, go listen to Dan Hart’s CD “Santa God and Other Blasphemies.” I recommend the tracks “Santa God” and “Lobotomy for Xmas.” It brought me some cheer!

  3. Re Grappling with technology, the first picture: Several years ago I was working off Sunrise Highway, with no cell service. I finally discoved a spot, several miles down the road, where I got good reception. It was a 1mX1m square, and I only got service as long as I stood up. If I sat down I lost it.

  4. Mary, another great Quickies. I want Green Saturn on my wall!

    I came home Christmas Eve to find my wife cooking up a storm while listening to Christmas songs by Nat King Cole.

    When it finished she told me to put on something else so I chose a Christmas CD alright, the one she gave me for Christmas last year, which was Kreigsmarine Marching Songs! I am into military history.

    I was waiting for her to spit the dummy, but she quite likes some of them, particularly “Wir Fahren Gegen Engeland” with the bells. It always makes me think of the Scharnhorst slicing thru the Atlantic waves.

    Anyway, Merry Bah Humbugs to you all!

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