Forget the Mayans. I have definitive, incontrovertible proof that the zombie apocalypse (sorry robots, you were too late) is upon us. Pat Robertson has all but admitted that Young Earth Creationism is wrong! Okay, clean off your keyboard because I know you just sputtered your libation all over it. Done? Laptop still working? Good. Read on.
“Look, I know that people will probably try to lynch me when I say this, but Bishop Ussher wasn’t inspired by the Lord when he said that it all took 6,000 years. It just didn’t. You go back in time, you’ve got radiocarbon dating. You got all these things and you’ve got the carcasses of dinosaurs frozen in time out in the Dakotas.”
I’m pretty certain that somewhere within some forgotten text on Cthulhu one can find: “In his house at R’lyeh dead Cthulhu waits dreaming. It shall come to pass that one day, a preacher shall proclaim that which every educated person knows, that the Earth is older than six thousand years and then shall Cthulhu wake.” Or words to more or less that effect.
Since either zombies are going to rise from the grave or Cthulhu’s advent is upon us, let me start now with the Draft Cthluhu in 2016 movement. The platform is as simple as can be and fits neatly on a bumper sticker “No More Years”. Catchy, no?
h/t to Daily Kos