Feminism

Ladies Get Their Froo-Froos in a Twist

Hey ladies, it’s time to talk lady business! And you know what that means – this post is all about la las. Froo froos. Noonis! Blarf marfs. Jim jams. Budakhans. Ling lings. Tim tams. Flip flops. Mac Attacks.

So hey, what do you use to clean your bibimbop? Is it Femfresh, “the PH-balanced formula specially designed for intimate skin?” Then you’d better go “like” their Facebook page, where as we speak a social media disaster is happening. And it is wonderful.

I know I’ve ranted about douche before, but for those just joining us, here’s the deal: vaginas (*gasp*) are self-cleaning. You do not need to hose them down with vinegar or any other kind of douche. Nothing inside you needs cleaning and you can clean the exterior of your crotch with soap just like dudes can. Using douche internally can lead to infections, which can lead to serious problems like infertility. If there’s something wrong with your vagina, see a doctor. Douches are at best useless and worst harmful. This is why “douche” is the very best insult you can ever throw at someone.

Along comes Femfresh, and like all douches, Femfresh must sell you a useless product by playing on your insecurities about your own body. You just aren’t fresh without using Femfresh! They want you to put their vile concoction in your vagina, but saying the word “vagina” requires some level of comfort with your body’s natural state, and they can’t sell douche to someone like that. So instead they use cutesy, infantilizing euphemisms like “va jay jay, kitty, nooni, lala, froo froo!” “Expert care for down there.” Down where? My feet?

Happily, women have caught on to this bullshit and they’re not taking it lying down. Femfresh’s Facebook page is currently flooded with hilarious criticisms like these (from both men and women) (EDIT: the page has just been taken down. Ha! Here is a screenshot.):

Vaginas smell. Take your repressed, woman-hating consumerism elsewhere.

There are sadly parts of the world (including parts of the US) where women are punished, politically, emotionally or even physically for saying the word VAGINA in public. Do we really want to be encouraging young women in our society to be afraid to use the biologically correct name for a part of their body?

Don’t even get me started on the entire concept of Femfresh. As another poster wrote, if you really do think you smell bad, see a GP!

I have a baby girl and a two year old boy and feel so much pressure to avoid using the proper words for their genitals but I would much rather they weren’t ashamed of their respective penis and vagina!

Hey Femfresh, how does it feel to have your entire target demographic think you’re idiots? Why don’t you redo this page and your entire ad campaign, to something sober and unobtrusive reflecting that creepy Lysol advert from the 60s that earnestly implies no matter how tasty your meatloaf is your husband will dump you because of your hideous odor and you oughta be douching with toilet cleaner? Perhaps that will better attract the sort of repressed, terrfied person who is neurotically obsessed with how their genitals smell

Femfresh lady shaming since the 70s!!!!

If my vagina was supposed to smell like a garden, there would be daisies growing out of it.

I’m pretty sure that “one of the kindest ways to care for your vagina” is untrue, and thus is a matter for Trading Standards or the Advertising Standards Agency. Also “expert care” is misleading as my undeerstanding is the majority of healthcare professionals would advise against such a product.

Is this product aimed at children, or should I have a nooni too? I’m pretty certain I only have the standard issue vulva + vagina set at present. They work fine, but do I need to get hold of a froo froo lala in order to use the femfresh properly? If so, can I order one online? Please advise.

In perhaps my favorite thread, Tony Rudd steps in apparently acting officially on behalf of Femfresh, and writes:

We’re taking your comments and can assure you that all will be seriously looked at. Posts like this one will no longer appear as we misjudged our customers

He includes a screenshot of a Femfresh posting that reads

Hands up who’s proud of their pom pom? ‘Like’ this post if your hands are high!

To which people respond:

If your vagina looks like a POM POM, seek medical attention.

Just out of interest, what’s the gender breakdown of the marketing team that came up with this gigantic wibbling pile of scrotum?

And how old is your target market?

Have you actually got a target market, or did you just make them up to suit your product?

As my friend @vbloke mentioned when he sent me this on Twitter, it’s enough to restore your faith in humanity.

Rebecca Watson

Rebecca Watson

Rebecca leads a team of skeptical female activists at Skepchick.org. She travels around the world delivering entertaining talks on science, atheism, feminism, and skepticism. There is currently an asteroid orbiting the sun with her name on it. You can follow her every fascinating move on Twitter or on Google+.

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78 Comments

  1. June 21, 2012 at 12:38 pm —

    Oh dear, when I scrolled down, the random ad was for “Green Gobbler Drain Opener” and I almost choked to death!

    • June 21, 2012 at 12:41 pm —

      OMG I just snorted water out my nose and it burns. Thank you.

    • June 21, 2012 at 12:55 pm —

      Yeah. See a doctor if the smell seems to be a problem. Go to the emergency room if that ad is somehow relevant.

    • June 21, 2012 at 8:26 pm —

      Mine is “Proper Wash: 5% off if you buy a bidet attachment today!”

  2. June 21, 2012 at 12:53 pm —

    I clicked on this article just to try and figure out what all the baby talk was about. I’m partly sorry I did, and partly not.

    On the one hand, the line

    If your vagina looks like a POM POM, seek medical attention.

    cracked me up. Glad I wasn’t drinking anything at the time.

    On the other hand, the assumption that no woman has an intellectual or maturity level beyond that of a 2-year-old is pretty disgusting. Not surprising, unfortunately, but still disgusting.

  3. June 21, 2012 at 1:06 pm —

    Glad to see they’re gone. Like I said on their page as a guy, I think vaginas should smell like vaginas.

  4. June 21, 2012 at 1:07 pm —

    I like the idea of growing daisies out of a vagina. It would probably work better than the lead-infested soil we have in our yard.

    I had no idea that douche companies even existed anymore. Sheesh. I’ll stick to frequent change of tampons and drinking cranberry juice, thanks.

  5. June 21, 2012 at 1:14 pm —

    My wife is a primary school teacher here in Britain and as such has taught sex education in various years, mostly year 6 (roughly age 10), although they do a more limited, less biological version of sex-ed in earlier years. Relationship stuff mostly. (Much to the Daily Mail’s horror!)

    From the outset, she’s very careful about using proper non-euphemistic terms for body parts. Of course there’s giggling in her class at first, as expected, but there’s a very good reason behind this. If kids are introduced to the proper terms rather than euphemisms, it seems they are less likely to be targeted by pedophiles online. Saying “penis” and “vagina” may be embarrassing, but if kids get used to saying those words in classrooms, then they’re more likely to use them in online conversations rather than “willy” or “pee-pee”. They come across as more confident and knowledgable and are less likely to be preyed upon.

    Advertising companies may think “froo-froos” and “down there” (presumably said in a whispery voice-over) are cute words, but they’re just a further symptom of society’s infantilisation.

    • June 21, 2012 at 1:47 pm —

      Here in America sex education is said to cause liberal voting, Sandra Fluke and good Christian Girls Gone Wild.

    • June 22, 2012 at 12:36 pm —

      I’m a social worker in the US and have spent the bulk of my career working with trauma, including five years working in the child welfare system. When you do sex abuse investigations, you have to be very, very careful about how you question children–not only from a legal standpoint, as in potentially excluding evidence that could be used in a criminal trial, but from a mental health standpoint, in that you don’t want the questioning about sexual abuse to traumatize the child OR the family more.

      What makes it difficult is that we DON’T have a consensus on sex ed in the country, and we have the most Puritan ideals when it comes to discussing sex. As a result, any time you question a child, you have to first very clearly establish their terminology for their genitalia and other body parts. You then use THOSE specific terms when asking about the sexual abuse. (Which can, in some cases, be helpful in a black humor sort of way–you have to laugh a little at the absurd names people come up with, and that can help give you something positive to focus on when you’re in the middle of a very disturbing conversation with a child.)

      This also can make court rather interesting:

      “The child then pointed to his penis and indicated it was his ‘tinky’, and pointed to his anus and indicated it was his ‘poo-poo.'”
      “And then what did you ask?”
      “I asked the child to tell me what the defendant did to his ‘tinky’ and ‘poo-poo’ on the day in question.”

      The lack of sex ed in this country is one of my soapboxes. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve had to talk with families or schools or at community meetings to discuss the importance of educating children for the primary purpose of preventing sexual abuse. And the lack of an open dialogue in our society about sex makes what children go through even worse, as it increases the shame they experience, isolates them from other children, subjects them to discomfort, embarrassment and even blame (all too often) from the families that are supposed to help them survive sexual abuse. I’ve had fathers who wouldn’t come to trials because they were too embarrassed to see their son answering questions about anal sex. I’ve had mothers severely injure their child by obsessively cleaning and scrubbing them after sexual abuse is discovered, or force teenage girls to wear baggy clothes to hide their bodies after rape.

      Preventing and treating sexual abuse is hard enough without society fighting on the side, even if unwittingly, of the abusers.

      …err. Sorry. I don’t mean to thread-derail, this is just my field, and I could go on and on about it. (Also teaching prevention of abuse is part of my current job, so it’s kind of hard to turn off! :)

      • June 25, 2012 at 5:30 pm —

        Onion Girl, I went through training to volunteer with sexual assault and abuse victims, and I was horrified by some of the things we learned.
        They gave us an example of a child who disclosed their abuse to multiple people, but no one knew what they were talking about due to the “cutesy” nicknames for genitalia. As in “Mr. Such-and-such gave my monkey a banana.”
        I could talk/rant about this stuff all day too. I just wanted to say thanks for pointing it out! It’d be useful for people to learn this–especially in TN where I recently had to tell a 19 year old female that “overdosing” on orange juice was not an effective method of contraception. Sexual education is in such an awful state here. I wish the politicians could grasp that fact.

  6. June 21, 2012 at 1:18 pm —

    Amazing. Must have had ad execs from tobacco companies. “Hey, we can openly market to kids! Get ’em hooked while they’re young!” Seriously, what were they thinking?

  7. June 21, 2012 at 1:20 pm —

    Relevant: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9BMYIFnQLM

    Do you wanna clean your jim jam zappa dap doo wop VOOOOM zazazazoom? Does your lappadappa dibbidy dab smell like a gip gap gabba napdap doodahdam? Femfresh now comes in JELLO PUDDING POP.

  8. June 21, 2012 at 1:36 pm —

    Froo froo? I thought that was frilly stuff on like dresses n shit.

  9. June 21, 2012 at 1:42 pm —

    I believe there was a character in Blackadder called Le Compte De Froo-Froo. Had some trouble eating a suspicious looking sausage, if I remember correctly.

  10. June 21, 2012 at 1:47 pm —

    The page appears to be back up, either that, or they’ve blocked it from outside the UK.

    How in the name of FROOFROO did those taglines even make it past the first approval?

    • June 21, 2012 at 2:08 pm —

      Can you block Facebook pages like that? It’s not working for me, either (I’m in the US).

      • June 21, 2012 at 2:15 pm —

        You can restrict a page’s visibility by Country.

        • June 21, 2012 at 2:58 pm —

          That makes sense, because I think most of the comments were coming from US users lol.

    • June 22, 2012 at 11:14 am —

      Is it still being bombarded with awesome comments?

  11. June 21, 2012 at 1:59 pm —

    “So instead they use cutesy, infantilizing euphemisms like “va jay jay, kitty, nooni, lala, froo froo!””

    I use to call my daughter’s pacifier a nooni. I’m suddenly extremely grossed out.

  12. June 21, 2012 at 2:08 pm —

    You know what’s really scary? For about 30 yeas Lysol was marketed and used as a feminine hygiene product

  13. June 21, 2012 at 2:29 pm —

    Holy crap! I about pissed myself at that first sentence. What, no Gnip Gnops?

    I felt like I was walking through the cookie aisle at the grocery store.

  14. June 21, 2012 at 2:32 pm —

    “you can clean the exterior of your crotch with soap just like dudes can.”

    I’m on your side with pretty much everything else, but I just want to say – if you’re using a soap on the exterior of your vagina (which is generally kind of unnecessary, just water is normally fine – check out Laci Green’s YouTube Sex+ video on the topic), make sure it’s mild and unscented! Vaginas generally don’t do well with scented and anything that leaves a lot of residue.

    (This is why you should properly clean sex toys, too. No soap on them – damages the materials and leaves a residue – just use a toy cleaner.)

    /soapbox

    • June 21, 2012 at 2:59 pm —

      I use soap and I have no problems whatsoever.

      • June 21, 2012 at 3:09 pm —

        You’re lucky, then. I know there are women who use regular soap (non-mild or scented) with no problem (for their vagina), but there are a lot of women who have far too sensitive skin for it, and I think it’s better to be on the safe side to avoid infections and irritation.

        As far as the toys go, I have bought, sold, and used toys of many different materials for quite a few years now (including researching and test-driving products), and I’ve seen the damage soap can do to toys. I’ve never seen that kind of damage with cleaners.

        • June 21, 2012 at 3:32 pm —

          I’m not lucky, I just don’t have super-sensitive skin.

          Some women do and should adjust accordingly.

          Some women can’t use normal soap on other parts of their body as well.

          Water alone can be fine, but sometimes it’s not. LIke when I’m on my period, or I’m not shaving and I want clean fur (lol), or when we are using lube, or whatever.

        • June 21, 2012 at 3:33 pm —

          Also I do agree with you on the keeping toys clean, but not all toys are made the same, either.

          I have glass toys. I can use soap on them just fine. Just depends on the material.

          • June 21, 2012 at 3:39 pm

            I admit, I consider having non-sensitive skin lucky. I have super sensitive skin and have had to learn a lot of ways to deal with it, which is most of the reason why I noted it here. It is different with everyone, but I know that a lot of people aren’t aware that you sometimes need to be more careful with your vagina than the rest of you (kind of going along with the “douching is actually bad for you” point).

            And glass toys are pretty unique, true. When I had one, though, soap left a weird residue. Could have been a hard water issue, though.

            Sorry for the threadjack! :)

          • June 21, 2012 at 3:52 pm

            Yeah, it was probably either the soap or the hard water. :)

            I use plain ol’ antibacterial soap for the glass toys, which don’t tend to leave a residue. I also make sure to rinse very well.

            Glass toys can also go in the dishwasher!

            And yeah I guess I am lucky. :)

          • June 21, 2012 at 6:23 pm

            I am replying here because it can’t reply on your last post:

            My only concern with putting toys in the dishwasher is food residue. Dishwashers often leave residue on everything, and if not super super clean leave food residue. Freaks me out.

            Anyway, thanks for the discussion. :D

    • June 21, 2012 at 8:35 pm —

      I actually wash mine with shampoo and I have no problems with it. It’s hairy down there so I just use what’s leftover from my washing the hair on my head.

  15. June 21, 2012 at 3:23 pm —

    “standard issue vulva + vagina set” …

  16. June 21, 2012 at 3:55 pm —

    I don’t think I’ve ever seen these here in Sweden. Really glad ’bout that! I only heard about the concept of “douching” just recently, and it freaked me out. Like, why do you have to… I mean… Honestly…

  17. June 21, 2012 at 4:05 pm —

    In the screenshot posted, the word vagina is between lala and froo froo.

  18. June 21, 2012 at 4:40 pm —

    “Bibimbop”

    Am I the only one familiar with Korean food?

    I mean, both are things I like to eat, but… yeah…

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bibimbap

    • June 21, 2012 at 6:16 pm —

      No, I’m quite familiar with it. Which got me thinking about other cuisines…and then I stopped going down that rabbit hole because I had other stuff to get done during the day.

    • June 21, 2012 at 6:21 pm —

      I was hungry when I wrote this, okay?? Lay off!

      • June 22, 2012 at 2:09 am —

        Had it not been my dad’s birthday, this post would’ve driven me down to Koreatown on Gessner, to eat at my former-hole-in-the-wall Korean restaurant.

        I probably would not have had bibimbap. My usual MO is to take someone with me, bully them into ordering Bibimbap, while I order the bulgogi (the kind of pork bulgogi that you regret the next day, but can’t really blame yourself for ordering). If everything goes according to plan, I then eat everything, and die in a blissful food coma.

  19. June 21, 2012 at 4:48 pm —

    I use malarkey to clean my bibimbop.

  20. June 21, 2012 at 5:05 pm —

    This article was a hoot! However, after I read it I decided it would be good to check out the company and its products. There is some product inaccuracies in your post that I’d like to address.

    This product isn’t a douche, in fact, according to their Aussie FAQ they’re anti-douching as well

    http://www.femfresh.com.au/FAQs#faq7

    Their UK FAQ has many of the same questions and answers but for some reason lacks that specific question. I haven’t dug too far into it other than seeing what their stance on douching is.

    I am all for proper anatomical word usage though! I would consider this product to be a VULVA cleaner. I’m pro-vulva cleaning, the build up of smegma among other things is not a pleasant smell by any means. I’ve had some issues with simply the run-off of soaps causing inflammation/swelling, but then other soaps don’t cause any issues.

    Beyond that, I also strongly disapprove of their ad-campaign. Anatomical terms aren’t horrifying, they’re not some boogy-man that’s creeping all up in one’s brain ready to devour any decency when vagina, vulva, penis, testicles, or clitoris is uttered. It’s such a difficult battle. I was in a class last semester and a woman shared her rage story of working as a camp counselor. A boy of around the age of 6 got in trouble with another counselor because he got hurt and told the counselor that he had hurt his penis playing kickball. RAAAAGE!! Did everything correctly and got scolded by an ignorant adult :(

    • June 21, 2012 at 5:43 pm —

      “I’m pro-vulva cleaning, the build up of smegma among other things is not a pleasant smell by any means. ”

      I think vaginas smell lovely. Then again, I’ve had my face in quite a few.

      Vaginas have a scent. They are SUPPOSED to have a scent. And they don’t smell like roses, I assure you.

      If you’re vagina/vulva smells gross or off, or if there is some sort of build up … there is something wrong and you need to see a doctor, not try to clean it off.

      A lot of feminism “cleansers” are very, very problematic. I bet this one is FULL of shit that you shouldn’t put near your sensitive bits. Let me guess — it probably smells like roses or something. That’s not good for your sensitive bits.

      Also, an add cabman that said, “Your vagina SMELLS! Now, here, put some flower-smelling chemicals on it so it smells like flowers instead of what a vagina is supposed to smell like” is seriously problematic, for some of the same reasons that actual douches are problematic.

      • June 21, 2012 at 5:44 pm —

        cabman? haha. campaign. clearly auto-correct sucks.

      • June 21, 2012 at 6:27 pm —

        Also: “feminism cleaners” in your post had me cracking up. Nice auto-correct.

        One thing I will say is that Summer’s Eve, in spite of their shitty ad campaigns, has some nice non-douche products. Their basic unscented cleaner is good if you’re just trying to use something that’s good for sensitive skin (in fact, I’ve used it for underarms and stuff instead, less irritation), and they have this awesome deodorant that is less for deodorizing and more just as like a powder spray to help ease chafing (although I don’t think that’s their intent). I find it good for things like going to the gym, or when it’s particularly hot out and I don’t want to be uncomfortable from sweating.

      • June 21, 2012 at 6:29 pm —

        I totally agree with the majority feminine cleansers being horrible. I can’t handle any sort of scented/flowery product myself, can’t really stand the smell of them either. (Scented pads/tampons? Noooopenopenope!)

        I’m not in support of this product by any means, but I wanted to highlight the difference between douching vs washing, vulva vs vagina. Maybe I’m too pro-proper anatomical term usage :D

        As for the build up thing and smell… that really only gets bad with women who do not have proper hygiene. Normal secretions and dead skin cells would be the normal cause. (Obviously there’s unhealthy things that can cause bad smells as you mentioned as well.) A good wash does wonders, soap or no soap!

        Sadly, the women I know of that have a “bad smell hygiene issue” have been conditioned to the point where they’re scared of parts of their body. It’s upsetting to me :( So I guess that build up issue (and feeling the “need” to purchase this shit) wouldn’t matter either way to them because they feel “dirty” to get clean.

        I also looked at their prices, yeeeeuch! ~$5.44 for 25 of their flushable wipes?! I’m pretty sure I spent like $6.50 for 92 cottonelle flushable wipes, no scent!

        • June 21, 2012 at 6:42 pm —

          Also remember that vaginas are supposed to have a scent.

          Many women are afraid they “smell” when in reality it’s just their normal scent and nothing is wrong. They believe any natural scent is “bad” or “gross” or “icky”.

          Culture has basically taught a lot of women that if their vagina doesn’t smell like roses, then something is wrong with them.

          Which is what makes these products so dangerous.

          • June 22, 2012 at 10:08 am

            It also makes it harder to find products that are actually suitable for helping you deal with the hygiene issues! With all of the crap and dishonest marketing, when I was trying to find some products that were gentler and safer to use while recovering from some vaginal issues that resulted in discharge (I wanted some sort of wipes or something to carry with me), it was hard to wade through all of these products and find something safe, and my doc had no clear suggestions. It sucked, because it was in large part due to the “ew vaginas are gross and yucky and you have to put perfume on them and use a douche”. Thankfully, I was smart enough to not use a douche (which would have intensified the issue), but spent a lot of time feeling SUPER uncomfortable because I couldn’t find anything.

            I’ve found that the best solution is just Cottonelle wipes. No scents, and easily portable. It’s a pity that they aren’t marketed to encourage women to use them!

          • June 25, 2012 at 3:13 am

            Yes, culture has repressed the natural fragrance of things to the point where they want all things to smell flowery. And I agree with you absolutely about liking the smell of a vagina, and I, as a man, have also had my nose in quite a few myself. It’s odd, though, my sense of smell has often lead me back in time to a pleasant memory in my childhood, or youth or even later, more so, than what just recalling a memory can do. Fragrances are, in fact, harmful chemicals, some of them, and I refuse to buy anything with fragrance unless it is castille soap, or peppermint soap, which has no added fragrance and household cleaners I mix up myself, from a recipe I got at the David Suzuki website and also a site associated with his foundation. And most perfumes have musk in them, and I also refuse to buy anything with musk in it. Why? Look it up, but it used to come from civet cat cruelty.

    • June 21, 2012 at 8:54 pm —

      I’m pro-vulva cleaning

      I’m pro vulva cleaning too, my favorite Vulva cleaner is made by Turtle Wax.

  21. June 21, 2012 at 5:12 pm —

    Ok, I agree with Rebecca’s point and this post and subsequent comments cracked me up. But am I the only one wondering who the hell would “like” a FB page for this type of product? Why? Who? Why, why, why does Femfresh need a FB page?

    • June 21, 2012 at 6:40 pm —

      It’s all part of facebook’s cunning plan for world domination.

      They intend to get everyone in the world to use their services so that they can track and monitor everyone so that they can more precisely target advertising so that they know precisely who in the world will buy what and when and charge retailers for personalised adds that will appear the moment before you realise that you want something on your nearest computer or mobile device (they will obviously know exactly where you are) telling you exactly where to buy whatever it is they have decided you need, along with personalised recommendations from people who have friended who have also been sold this product or service.

      They will achieve this world domination through subliminal advertising that will compel anyone who sees it that they must get themselves a facebook account and also by ensuring that having a facebook account is either a requirement for using vital services or at least makes accessing them much easier.

      I fully expect Al Qaeda to form their own facebook page soon and start asking for people to vote on their favourite member for a terrorist of the month award.

      I plan to resist their [facebook’s] evil plan by muting all adverts on tv and averting my eyes to avoid the subliminal messaging. I of course have all adverts blocked on my we browser already as well as blocking all scripts from their domain.

      The surprise is now not that someone is on facebook, but that they have resisted joining until now.

    • June 22, 2012 at 10:03 am —

      A lot of people like FB pages to get free stuff. I actually get kind of irritated when other lady products (tampon and pad companies) don’t have websites for a couple of reasons:

      1) It further stigmatizes female sexual and non-sexual characteristics (vagina, menstruation, etc.).

      2) I want free junk.

      3) I like to share what works with other women and FB is a really good place to do that. Some women aren’t aware of good products because the advertising is crap or too watered down in the US, but with FB pages I can share different info without sounding as “creepy”.

      4) There’s no reason why I shouldn’t be able to show support for businesses I like. It’s no different, to me, to say “I love Always’ products because they work really well” than it is to say “I love IKEA because they have awesome and cheap dishes”.

      So, yeah. I don’t see anything wrong with it, and I wish that it was more common.

  22. June 21, 2012 at 6:26 pm —

    Um, where I am from [UK] ‘Jim Jams’ are Pyjamas….

    And I as guy wear a pair…

    This other meaning is new to me…

    Is this an American thing or has the meaning gone and changed on me?

    • June 21, 2012 at 6:40 pm —

      LOL.

      A lot of these “terms” are very made up, by Rebecca herself. Like, no one actually calls a vagina a “jim jam” here. I imagine she just though it sounded hilarious.

      We also don’t use “jim jam” to mean pajamas. We say jambes, or P-Js, or pajamas, or whathaveyou. :)

      • June 21, 2012 at 6:54 pm —

        That’s a relief…

        I was worried that I was going to sleep in a pair of vaginas every night…

        • June 25, 2012 at 3:17 am —

          What!!?? That’s something to worry about? Or is it something to shoot for as a goal?I’d love to be wrapped in a pair of vaginas each night(I might be called a dirty old man due to my age though).

    • June 21, 2012 at 6:43 pm —

      jambes = jamees.

  23. June 21, 2012 at 8:57 pm —

    Oh my glob you are supposed to put femfresh INSIDE your vagina?! I’ve just been using it on the outside like a soap. I thought it was just like a sensitive skin formula.
    The conspiratorial girl chat attitude of the label and it’s mind numbing euphemisms couldn’t even get across how to use it!
    Why would you put it inside? What if you didn’t rinse properly and intercourse turned into an awkward reinactment of the time you accidentally put washing up liquid in the dishwasher instead of dishwasher powder? Eeek.

    • June 21, 2012 at 9:05 pm —

      Upon reflection I believe I have the Australian market liquid cleanser that is intended as a vulva area soap. Well that saves me from having to go through all my other bathroom products making sure I’m putting them on the right body parts.

  24. June 22, 2012 at 1:20 am —

    The first time I clicked on this page I got an ad for a local gutter cleaning service. That was bizarre.

    Speaking of places where the word “vagina” is banned, the Vagina Monologues were read on the Michigan statehouse steps. I’ll go for that.

    Of course I embarrassed a couple of people last year at TAM by describing what happens to breasts after having a baby. Some were abashed that I felt like a milk cow, and that human milk can be sprayed out several feet. Sorry, folks, that is what they are for!

    I will promote the fact I have sensitive skin all the time! I don’t do make-up, body lotion, jewelry or other fancy feminine stuff except very nice bar soap. The fancier the better. It is my one vice (I just wish my mother-in-law would stop giving me vanilla scented soaps, I don’t want to smell like a custard!).

  25. June 22, 2012 at 3:22 am —

    Tell me they didn’t really say “tim tam”?! This is a Tim-tam.

  26. June 22, 2012 at 6:25 am —

    Femfresh is not a douche, it’s a range of washes and wipes for cleaning the external areas of your vagina. I find the wipes really useful when I have my period as I have a very heavy flow and it gets all over the place! I would genuinely stink by the end of the day otherwise (I use a MoonCup but I still get leaks, the wipes are also great for cleaning my hands before I leave the toilet stall as it would be unhygenic to pull up my pants, unlock the door and go to the sink with blood all over my hands). I agree the cutesy terms are ridiculous but they are trying to sell a (safe and useful) product and many women do identify with that terminology, like it or not.

    • June 22, 2012 at 12:20 pm —

      Scented products are not “Safe and useful” and neither is the advertising, which strongly implies that if your vagina has a “vagina scent” that does not smell like roses or some other fake scented crap, something is wrong.

      I use wipes, too. Plain’ ol’ unscented adult wipes that are safe to flush.

      They are a million times cheaper than this crap, too, and you get far more product. Why spend more money when you can get a cheaper and superior product that also doesn’t rely on this crappy, sexist advertising?

      But hey … I guess advertising works.

  27. June 22, 2012 at 9:18 pm —

    LOL the latest sponsored ad for me is “Adelaide’s Newest Cleaning Contractors”!!

    Great post Rebecca, sound advice and hilarious as well.

    I’m also thinking about rule 33 of the internet in relation to pompom vaginas – but too afraid to check!

  28. June 23, 2012 at 6:51 am —

    I quite enjoy the smell of a vagina. Only thing I’d say is there’s sometimes an Apple-like taste too – maybe this is the natural acids/fluids? The original forbidden fruit perhaps? :)

    • June 23, 2012 at 4:53 pm —

      lol. might also depend on what she eats. or the time of the month.:)

  29. June 25, 2012 at 2:46 am —

    Wow, I’m so glad to see this in print: “here’s the deal: vaginas (*gasp*) are self-cleaning.” as for me, personally, as a man, I have always known this to be true(I understand it has an acidic environment, no matter, call me old fahishioned, but I have always liked the smell of vagina in the morning, or any other time for that matter). No bad smell, and it is remote, but unless the female in question may have an infection, maybe, or something of the like(or if a person cuts their arm, let’s say, and it gets really infected, and pus appears, there may be a smell, just as in under a cast for a broken arm, the dead skin may have have an odor, and itch). I have also found jokes about women’s vaginas and fish smells as being revolting and disgusting(the jokes, not the vaginas) and not based in reality. I have been with dozens&dozens of women(some were less hygenic than others, but still)in my lifetime(pushing 62 now)and have not come across a vagina that was foul smelling, or ‘fishy’ or any such derogatory term(no matter how close my nose has gotten to said source, and I must say, it has been very near from time to time as I perform on the woman oral sex). Nor have I ever been able to tell if a woman is on her period or not, as some ‘men’ claim to know through their noses they say(could it be clairvoyance instead?).
    Also, I am embarrassed for women each time I hear this line in this TV ad(can’t remember the product, something with the word ‘fresh’ in it), which says, “Are you tired of feminine odor…?”and when I first heard the ad a couple of weeks ago, I thought, damn that’s so old, that line they’ve been using since the 70s about ‘feminine odor,’ used to make women feel self-conscious about themselves in order to sell their product. Granted, some women may feel a little self-conscious as we all know the vagina is an organ that is recessed, and whose wonderful parts that feel so good to me at least, are hidden, unlike the male penal apparatus where everything is ‘out there’ completely exposed for all to see and so some women may feel somewhat unsure about whether there is a smell or not(perhaps due to hearing jokes about fish and vaginas, I dunno). I have yet to come across a woman and her ‘feminine odor’ as being repulsive, or something they should feel ashamed or ‘tired’ of(even during menses).
    I’m happy to see this article about what I cringe for women over, which is TV commercials about taking a douche with ‘Vagisil’ or whatever. I see no reason for women to douche unless they have been ill ‘down there’ or if they just want to feel better, but woman have no reason to be ashamed or feel self-conscious about a natural part of themselves that nature has thoughtfully taken care of through its self cleaning functions, any more than men do over their rectum(also recessed).
    I can hear it now, someone calling me a ‘mangina'(I’ve been a male Feminist since my mid 20s, circa 35 yrs ago(around the time since Ms magazine debuted), and I voted YEA for the ERA Amendment), as I am on the women’s side in this.
    I think it’s unfortunate that the word Feminist is viewed by many men and through the root word Feminism as it is associated with just a fight for women, when, in fact, it is about all people, men and women, just as civil rights was not just about black people, but all people(though black folk were in a worse way than most white folk).

  30. August 12, 2012 at 8:02 am —

    I once got a test package of vulva soap with my pills at the pharmacy. I didn’t say anything at that time but I decided that the next time this happens I’ll look at the package, then lean over to the clerk and loudly whisper:
    “Gee, does my cunt stink again? I’m so sorry, really! I shouldn’t go out with a stinking cunt. Thank you so much for this soap that I can use to un-stink my cunt.”

    I never understand why there are scented fem hygiene products. As long as you don’t walk around naked with spread legs and force people to dive down there, no one will smell anything, even IF you’re on your period and have been sweating into the same pad for the past six hours because there’s no toilet around.
    And before someone eats you out, it’s good manners anyways to wash yourself.

    And if someone’s doubting that this is pure misogyny:
    Where are the ads for penis washes?
    “Are you uncircumcised? Does your mighty johnson smell under his gangsta hood after a hard day of menial labour? Use the new AXE Wang Wash! To make your great cock smell as seductive to the ladies as your arm pits.”

  31. February 20, 2014 at 10:00 am —

    200 year old douche discovered in New York’s City Hall. http://capitalismisfreedom.com/200-year-old-douche-found-city-hall-new-york-seriously/ – And, no, it’s not Mayor DeBlasio…. :-)

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