OK… I’m posting this while a bit impaired. Not like drunk, unfortunately, but I just got back from the eye doctor and I had my pupils dilated so everything on my screen is a bunch of adorable fuzzy dots.
Since I’m pretty much useless, I figured today would be a good day to have a psychic challenge.
Your job is to describe the person who will post after you. And to tell the person who posted above you whether they were correct or not.
The winner gets one million high five bucks, redeemable from any bro you may run into anywhere in the world.
Here goes:
What can you tell me about the person posting after you? And, bonus: will I ever see again? And double bonus: what should my prize be for blogging, unassisted, while blind?
featured image: Amy Davis Roth
Someone claiming to be first poster.
WRONG! Already saw your post.
The next poster will be a Man. 50% (ish) chance!
Nope, I’m a woman!
The next poster is a biologist.
Wrong! I am El Mofo!
The next poster will be correct! And blonde! And AWESOME!
Sucks for you.
The next poster is a superhero.
Exactly right!
And the next poster is my evil nemesis.
MWAHAHAHHAHAHA Correct! I am the Psychic Avenger. The next poster will be my next victim!
Noooooooooooooooo!
The next poster is pretty gosh darn awesome!
Duh.
The next poster will be wearing clothes.
I think many people around here would disagree with that. :-)
The next person to post will have hair.
DING DING DING!
This is one of my favorite AIs.
The next poster will have blue eyes.
Wrong! I’ve been shaving my head for a year now.
The next person will be a Windows (not Mac) user.
That’s correct, Windows all the way.
The next person will have a name starting with J, or containing a J, or know someone with a name that either starts with a J or one that is etymologically related to a name starting with J.
Holy shit! How did you know?
The next person wears glasses.
OMG I JUST ORDERED GLASSES TODAY! HOW DID YOU KNOW?
The next person is in love with the person after them!
damn, guess I have to stop sending “from your secret admirer” stalker type emails now.
The next person knows someone named John.
Correct! I know many Johns…
wait.
um.
Well, the next person is my sidekick.
Hmmm, not that I know of.
No way to predict me. Glad you didn’t try.
The next poster is fond of noodles.
I knew you’d post next, but I also knew no one would beleive me. (…..as he tries to cover up his psychic game fail.)
Noodles rock.
The next person will deny having a secret identity.
The rules, Jacob, the rules! You are now supposed to make a prediction for the next person! I await your prediction, but no fair saying the next person has any control issues.
Who needs rules when you have privlidge!!!
You have no proof!
The next person does not entertain any proposition with greater assurance than the proofs it is built upon will warrant. (god damn cynic)
Crap, you got me.
The next poster has at some point questioned their own sexuality or that of one of their lovers.
That’s me!
The next person DOES NOT talk about fight club.
Wow. I’m freaking out a little because I NEVER talk about Fight Club!,
However, I predict the next person will have watched or referenced James Tiberius Kirk within the past week, no maybe two weeks. At least within the last month.
That’s amazing! Just this morning I was trying to make a joke on the Thank You, Hater thread comparing cacner to Shatner, but I couldn’t come up with a good joke.
I predict the next person will have a great Shatner joke.
William shatner was a joke.
The next person will be outgoing but at times feel that they are introverted and wish to stay out of the lime light. You have had problems coming to grips with your sexuallity but are now happy with yourself. generally a very happy person you can experience low spots when people do not see eye to eye with you and you will know that I have really managed to pin down your personality.
Fail.
The next person will have a cartoon avatar.
Indeed.
The next person will be a seafood lover and from the Northern Hemisphere. Something about jet skis and tax evasion, etc.
Wrong! I’m vegetarian.
The next person will vaguely identify with a series of common personality traits!
I absolutely refuse to acknowledge the Senator from Tatooine’s comments about seafood. I barely met the cod and was no where near his Northern Hemisphere in order to evade the audit. Jet skis, however, may have been involved.
The next person will fall asleep while typing his/her/its exotic petfood grocery list…
Sorry… In my household exotic pets ARE food.
The next person will be one of those annoying people from logic puzzles who either always tells the truth or always lies.
Completely true! How did you know I never lie?
The next person will have gone to school with someone who died in a car accident.
True, unfortunately. It’s been longer now since the accident than any of them lived before it.
The next poster will be at least 70% water.
Wrong! I am a little dehydrated this morning.
The next poster will be in a deep symbiotic relationship with bacteria.
Yes! The bacteria are milling about nicely, thank you.
The next poster will appeal to my prurient interestz.
All hail Da Psykikz.
You will, I trust, agree with me that yogurt can be spelled in several different ways, yes?
Damn you and your black magic, Scopes Monkey Mat!
Next poster will be 5’2″, brown hair, and exactly one nose…. yes only one.
That’s five foot two and a HALF, thank you very much. But psychic, nonetheless, as this platinum is out of a bottle.
The next poster will be very evolved.
My colleagues claim that I’m surprisingly un-evolved (most of the guys referring to me as “The Gorilla”*) – but what do they know about evolution?
I predict the next poster’s feet will be somehow unusual and that she has a special quality to her voice (for a “she”, she will surely be).
* The ladies have come to refer to me as “Doctor Bob” although my name’s not Bob and I’m not a doctor.
http://su.pr/Armx2m
Unusual, yes. They are much too small for a man of my height. I’ve been referred to as “she” but only on stage.
The next poster will only have 9 fingers, having lost the tenth in an unfortunate smelting accident.
Anthony, are you actually my niece? I think Rei was psychically channeling her. She once refused to put on shoes before going into a restaurant because “Humans are apes, and apes never wear shoes.”* Her feet aren’t particularly unusual, except they were caked with mud at the time. (She had been looking for interesting invertebrates in a mud puddle, and had decided to take her shoes off.)
* There’s a logical fallacy in there somewhere, but I’m not about to argue with her about it…
Actually, no, I have all my fingers, and I haven’t done any smelting in years.
The person who posts after me is intelligent, trustworthy, kind, and will be rich someday.
Yes, yes, yes, and probably not rich, but possibly well off.
The next poster will be a liar.
I mostly tell the truth.
The next poster will be someone catching up on Skepchick posts.
Yeah! Wow, you’re good.
The next poster will have seven piercings, three of which are secrets.
My guess? An awesome Skepchick reader.
I’m going to spend my high five bucks e- high fiving all the contributors to Skepchick for their awesomeness.