Afternoon InquisitionSkepticism

AI: That is the Stupidest Thing I Have Heard All Week

“If you clear your body of toxins it will clear your mind.”

“Does that have gluten in it? I can’t have that anymore. It’s bad for you.”

“Yoga is about energizing the spirit. Then, the body will follow.”

“Push your heart energy out into the universe.”

“Raw food cleansing is the best way to remove toxins.”

“If you eat food grown on the ground you will be calmer because it is closer to the earth. If you eat food grown in trees you will have more energy because it is grown in the air.”

“That hotel is haunted by the ghost of Janis Joplin.”

“I mean all the roads were blocked on the way to his house. That is a sign, right? That was totally a sign.”

“I get the flu from the flu shot every time I get it. So I don’t get it anymore.”

The above quotes are all things I have heard people saying while just going about my day to day business over the past few days. Many of the quotes were said directly to me. I heard a few at the farmer’s market and a few on the way to the post office and then some while hiking.

Yeah, I know it’s only Tuesday.

This dump truck of woo has been piled on me just over the past 48 hours or so. And I am wondering, am I special? Do people feel the need to tell me idiotic things or is this typical of conversation on the street? Should it bother me? Should I stop and try to explain to each and every person why they are so completely wrong or should I politely smile and nod? Who has the time for the needed explanations and why aren’t intelligent people randomly mentioning math equations to me or muttering to me about theoretical physics? Okay, in all honesty, I do hear the word, quantum muttered on the streets of Hollywood from time to time but as you might guess it usually has the word “energy” or “healing’ attached to it.

What is some of the stupid you have run across recently that made your brain want to explode? Have you noticed any trends? Is there a popular pseudoscience you would like me or one of the writers here to tackle? What is the stupidest thing you have ever heard?

Amy Roth

Amy Davis Roth (aka Surly Amy) is a multimedia, science-loving artist who resides in Los Angeles, California. She makes Surly-Ramics and is currently in love with pottery. Daily maker of art and leader of Mad Art Lab. Support her on Patreon. Tip Jar is here.

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107 Comments

    1. Speaking of some dumb thing I’ve heard: Drinking makes you smarter! It kills off those weak, lazy brain cells. That leaves more oxygen and nutrients and what-nots for the strong brain cells. Survival of the fittest!

        1. This is a dumb thing to say, but nobody really believes it. It’s only really funny after about a pitcher anyway. Per my experience.

  1. Next time you hear someone say that about gluten please smack them extremely hard.

    People like that are the reason people like me end up having others not take my gluten intolerance seriously and try to feed me / sneak gluten into my food. Idiots who just follow “natural” trends won’t get hurt. I, however, will get really sick and you will take a measurable time period off my life span.

    Sorry to hear you’re a magnet for these things. I was talking to my partner last night about this and I determined that I simply don’t have the patience for this kind of woo any more. I was listening to a podcast about health and fitness training when I heard avoiding gluten, paleo diet, then GMO foods come up in a row. I had to turn it off because if violated my three strikes rule. Shame because it was interesting but I couldn’t continue listening so the other crazy stuff that was being mentioned during the discussion.

    1. I know what you mean, I was so bummed when listening to The Nerdist podcast and found out that Chris Hardwick and his cohorts were following the 4-Hour Body bullcrap. He doesn’t go on about it so I still listen, but it bugs me every time he does bring it up.

      This has happened a couple of times more recently too;
      Professor Blastoff, which is usually a pretty skeptical and thoughtful show, had a grad-student on to blather on about the BMI and how everyone should be a certain way, it was quite disheartening.
      And on Snap Judgement (not sure, but I think Glynn Washington may have beaten Rebecca out for an NPR slot), which ordinarily has a fairly critical eye, there was an episode of wholey credulous accounts of alien abduction and cattle mutilations; I kept waiting for Glynn to come in with his usual “yeah, yeah, we know this might not be true” statement that he adds in cases of religion and politics but it never came.

      But hey, whaddayagonnado?

    2. I have this exact same problem. “Oh I don’t eat gluten because it’s bad for you.” No. No it’s not. And people like this are why I sound like a crazy person and bend over backwards apologizing any time I have to ask someone “Are these fries cooked in the same oil as the onion rings?”

      I’m celiac, which means even the smallest amount of gluten leaves me miserable for a three day stretch. I’m tired of feeling guilty and awkward every time I have to explain why gluten is actually a serious issue for me, and tired of feeling like people will judge me for being picky when it’s actually about my health. No, I won’t enter anaphylactic shock, but yeah, it’s a really bad thing if even a very small amount of it gets in my food.

      Also, Jeezy CREEZY, the paleo diet is just… Oh gosh I can’t even go there. I have no problem with the diet, but I have about a thousand problems with the people who love talking about the diet. At great length. Whether you want them to or not.

  2. heard waaaay too much 9/11 truther stuff in the last week. in particular there was a friend of mine that i didn’t realize was into that stuff, but considering their self-diagnosed gluten allergy and astrological inclinations it’s not terribly surprising. bums me out though.

    1. Yes…a veritable flood of Truther-isms this week. “Why did World Trade 7 collapse when it wasn’t hit by a plane?” is the truther equivalent of the creationist’s “If we evolved from monkeys why are there still monkeys?” argument. And I still hear it a lot.

      1. damn, so true. wish i would have thought to say it! unfortunately there’s just no arguing with this people.

    2. I’ve only ever twice dealt with Truthers directly. Unfortunately, one was an employer, and the other was a friend (I didn’t know he was a Truther) at a party, who was hanging around by the drinks, so anyone who wanted a refill got to hear about why it’s all a conspiracy. There is no state of drunkenness where that shit is acceptable.

  3. A night without sleep. Yes, the moon is getting super full!

    I am so relieved to hear that Mercury has gone direct and we are coming out of its shadow. We made it people!

    sometimes Facebook is the death of me

  4. I recently had this conversation with my older sister,
    “I don’t trust Obama”!
    Me, “Really, why is that”?
    “I just look at him and don’t trust him, that’s all”.
    Me, “Well, have you read anything that would lead you to believe that…like something he did that was illegal or unethical”?
    “No, I just look at him and can tell…and I have a right to my opinion so shut up”!

    At that point I gave up and now wonder if we really have the same genetic parents…

  5. Today, one of my co-workers was explaining to a patron that we didn’t have anyone to type for her. She was arguing that she had arthritis and gout; he, being a man in his 70s, pointed out that he, too, suffers from both, and it didn’t change the fact that we didn’t have any staff who could type her shit for her.

    Her response? “This sounds very Republican.”

    I had to leave the desk to keep from laughing.

  6. This was seen on Facebook earlier this week.

    “I don’t get why people find butts attractive. *That’s where poop comes from*.”

    Ugh.

  7. Sounds like the Universe is trying to give you a sign. Or maybe God, or gods, or whatever else is going around this week. :)

  8. I kind of agree with the butt one.

    It isn’t just you. I think sometimes people see one’s area of expertise as an open invitation for craziness dumping.

    My “thing” is critters. People feel compelled to tell me idiotic animal facts all the time. Gems from the past few days include:

    “You know the daddy long-legs is the most poisonous spider, right? It just can’t bite people.” (Wrong two ways: on the face of it, and in the sense that “poisonous” ? “venomous.”)

    “This Gila monster was right next to us! Thank god it didn’t get the kids.” (While showing me a photo of a gecko.)

    “I’ve heard there are vultures, or Thuderbirds or something, that carry away pets and kids.”

    “I just carry a shovel in my trunk. That way I can take care of (read: chase after like a moron and decapitate unnecessarily) a rattler if I need to.”

    And on and on. Also, my mother-in-law believes her copper bracelets are magical. My brain, it hurts.

    1. *That should be “Thunderbirds.” Also, the form didn’t like my not-equals sign between “poisonous” and “venomous.” They’re not the same thing, was my point.

  9. So tired I didn’t have the ability to snark the lady looking for books about “spirits that spit” as she talked about being persecuted by a demon.

  10. The stupidest thing that I have heard all week came on Sunday, when a woman with whom I was talking made the declaration that an individual’s reaction to a work of art are not subjective, and that everyone reacts positively to Shakespeare without exception and therefore he was the greatest playwright ever.

    When the fact that none of what she had said made any sense was pointed out, she shouted “I know about these things, because I AM A PLAYWRIGHT AND YOU ARE NOT!”

    We had fun cracking jokes about the shouting later.

      1. It took so much effort to not respond with “As a whale biologist, I can say that you have a stupid face! Hey, whale biologist!”

        Maybe I should have argued back that Futurama is clearly and objectively the greatest artistic distillation of the human condition and watched her head explode.

  11. I wish I had tape of the woman who insisted that there must be study materials for the police department’s psych test, and that she only failed because they had a dog in the room.

  12. I live in a Wooville of sorts and after awhile I’ve come to the conclusion that when I interact with people at work and in social settings it’s hardly ever worth the effort to take on the job of telling people there was stupid spilling out of their mouth when they assumed it was a flow of coherent and intelligent verbiage. People remember when you’ve tried to wipe the stupid off their face; and often these are not pleasant memories given how sticky and difficult stupid is to remove.

  13. Potential replies to nagging bullshitters:

    “I’m sorry, but I can’t hear you over the sound of how large my book is” (While holding your favourite science textbook. Also works with other large objects)

    “The capital of Denmark is Copenhagen!” (Works best if shouted)

    “Shhhhhh” (While uncomfortably close to “opponent’s” face, repeated whenever they attempt to speak. Keep this up for a good 2 mins while following them around)

    Or the super aggressive one:
    “I will make a cape of your skin and wear it to your funeral!”

    Good luck and have fun.

  14. I was reading a pretty woo resume but my favorite gonzo listing was Certified Past Life Regression Therapist.

  15. I had a friend of mine basically tell me that I couldn’t refute the miraculous icon (she’s Russian Orthodox) that weeps mud that she saw personally over in Russia. This was only a couple of hours after she had laughingly admitted how gullible she was when recounting how she was easily fooled by some mockumentary. Then she sprung Pascal’s Wager on me.

  16. I have a coworker who falls for each and every bit of nutrition woo around. He is an organ transplant recipient who keeps trying to “boost” his immune system. Looks at me blankly when I tell him that a fully functioning immune system would result in rejection of his transplanted organs.

  17. Could it be that T-shirt you’re wearing — the one that says “Please Tell Me Something Stupid!” on it, in big letters. >;->

    Oh; Hollywood: That explains it. Most Californians are from another planet — more so in Hollywood. >;->

  18. “I get the flu from the flu shot every time I get it. So I don’t get it anymore.”

    Forgive my ignorance, but are influenza vaccines based on a weakened or a killed virus? Any possibility of either getting a form of influenza from the vaccine, or feeling flu-like because your immune system is responding to the vaccine?

    1. Right you are. It’s a dead or weakened version of the flu so no, you can’t get the flu from it. It’s not possible. You can however experience an immune response which is like mild sniffles or feeling run down as you body’s immune system is reacting (as it should) to the vaccine. The immune response is nothing even close to getting the actual flu which would result in high fever and throwing up etc. People who say they get the flu from the flu shot, either got sick from another source before they built up immunity from the vaccine or they simply contracted a head cold or different strain of the flu and blamed it on the flu shot.

      1. Yeah, I was wondering about that. When I get the flu, I’m out of commission for a day. When I get the flu shot, I’m out of commission for the day, plus $15 (or whatever the local discount was that enabled me to afford it in the first place). I know I don’t actually have the flu when I get the flu shot, but flu-like symptoms are flu-like symptoms, and a day of lost work is a day of lost work, so I no longer get the flu shot.

        Same thing with the horrible rash I got the day after I gave birth to my child because they vaccinated me for MMR without asking. Hello, the last thing a new mother needs is a 3-week rash from hell!

        1. No, actually you don’t get flu like symptoms from the flu shot. If that happened everyone would be vomiting their guts out with a fever and body aches. Not just a sore arm and maybe some sniffles for a day. And if you got the flu you would be out of commission for more than a day, more like two weeks. Seems like a reasonable trade off. Also, if you are vaccinated you cant transfer to illness to someone else, someone who is too sick to be vaccinated or someone with an immune disorder. Maybe you are allergic to egg or a component in the vaccine which may explain your rash. If that is the case you should totally look in to it by going to an allergist in order to protect yourself from coming into contact with the allergen in the future and in the mean time start convincing everyone you know to get vaccinated for everything to keep up herd immunity for you.

          Or don’t get vaccinated but then do us a favor and stay out of public places, like planes, trains, grocery stores, movie theaters, parks. You know, everywhere.

  19. My brother goes for all the diet crazes, serially. First it was raw food, then vegan, then an all-liquid detox, then gluten-free, and now it’s maximizing the amount of grease, fat, and salt because he has high cholesterol and he thinks that this will solve the problem.

    The funniest thing is listening to him talk about the last craze when he moves onto a new one. He’s as critical as they come, making fun of people who follow the diet. But the new one is totally legit!

    1. mrpopularsentiment, that sounds like a buddy my college roommate and I had. He had a new philosophy of life just about every week (so exciting! You never knew what you were going to get). One week, he went on the “all salad diet”. We all went out to lunch, and he got a southern fried chicken salad with eggs, bacon bits, tons of cheese, ranch dressing, and enormous croutons. He kept talking about how healthy he felt because he was eating salad, while my roommate and I tried not to laugh in his face. We couldn’t bear to burst his bubble – he looked so happy. And we knew that his new “diet” would last about a week, which it did.

  20. I totally believe I will get the flu from the flu shot. I know it’s irrational, so I generally keep it to myself. [Also, I don’t work with people and don’t have insurance, anyway.] I also take meaningless things as signs sometimes. It’s easier than saying “I’ma dtmfa, but I don’t have a reason”.

    But the worst thing I’ve seen this week is something my friend says quite often on his fb: a quote from g-d, which he signs “dad”. His relationship is just that personal. It drives me nuts and reminds me why I usually have him hidden.

  21. One of the most elegant math equation I know is Euler’s e^i? + 1 = 0.
    You get e, the base of the natural logarithm along with ?,
    and then just to make things even better you get
    i, the imaginary root
    1, the multiplicative identity
    and 0, the additive identity.
    All combined in the simplest way.

  22. My encounters usually happen at work, so there’s limits to what I can say. Especially when it’s customers, which fortunantly I don’t deal with anymore.

    Currently I work in the field, frequently in the desert where it’s over 100F. A couple co-workers insist you should never drink cold water when it’s hot, ’cause your body has to expend energy to warm it up before it can be absorbed. No, your body will absorb it whatever temp it is, and it will cool you off.

    Previously I worked graveyard shift in a hotel in Humboldt County, and the reputation for pot smoking there is not exagerated. Frequently guests would request non-smoking rooms, and then toke out. Of course when we charged them they insisted marijuana wasn’t smoking, ’cause it’s natural.

    1. Oh man that reminds me of the alt med marijuana take over that is happening in California. Pot is practically legal here as long as you get a recommendation from a doctor to take it and you can get a recommendation for almost anything that ails you. It’s annoying because I like many others, think pot should be treated like alcohol and regulated and taxed etc so we sort of ignore all the bogus health claims associated with it while the legal issues work themselves out. But I sure would like to see a critical takedown on all the bogus claims encompassing the marijuana marketplace. Claims like, smoking pot cures and protects you from cancer etc.

      1. And pot isn’t addictive and doesn’t have any health risks ’cause it’s natural.

        I’ve had several people insist that pot isn’t addictive, and immediatly follow it up with: But I just can’t quit. Which quickly changes to they can quit anytime they want, but…

        Honestly, I used to favor legalization, but after living in Humboldt for 10 years I just can’t anymore.

        1. I bet you they say it’s not addictive because it’s not physiologically addictive, but it is still psychologically addictive. So, you are going to crave it and want it, but you won’t suffer withdrawal without it.

          1. I’ve seen some studies that indicated it was physiologically addictive in about 10% of the subjects. And I’ve known some people, many family members, who you don’t want to be around when they don’t get their hit. Think explosive, uncontrollable rage.

            I used to think my family was just a bunch a A-holes until I moved to Humboldt.

          2. Not that I’m defending pot smoking, but come on, anything can be psychologically addictive – video games, sex, high-stress activities, rage, and posting on message boards. The psychological and physiological addictiveness of tobacco and alcohol are off the charts compared to dumb old pot.

            I wish people wouldn’t smoke it, but putting people in jail and seizing their property crosses the line. That is a preventative measure that outweighs the offense by one hundred thousand to one.

  23. “I know that the Nestle baby food product recall only applies to France and not Australia. But I’m still going to tell all the mothers I know to bin the product because its better to be safe than sorry.”

  24. What I would suggest, and it’s no excuse, is that you look alternative. And we are still a society that believes if you look alternative, you’ll accept any flakey woo that comes along.

    In may case people are continuously surprised that I’m not interested in attending their church. Even after I tell them that I don’t believe god it often doesn’t really sink in.

  25. I told a regular customer that I had just started dating someone and she asked me what her “sign” was. Then proceeded top tell me that we should get along because we are both “water signs” I was flabbergasted

  26. I’m a veterinarian and I think the pet nutrition woo is the worst. I want to bang my head every time I have a patient that I suspect has a food allergy and the owner insists that their pet can’t be allergic to his food because it’s holistic/organic/natural/premium/raw/grain-free (circle all that apply).

    What the fuck is holistic food??!??

    1. It’s a food product that takes into account all of the various practices in price gouging and delivers a whole, single retail markup for the gullible customer.

    2. I’ve got some pet health doozies for you:

      From the “About Us” info for a local natural raw pet food maker: “Eating a homemade raw meat diet and taking a homeopathic remedy cured Sasha.” Um…not the conclusion I draw.

      Also, we met our current pet sitter through this site: http://www.allcreatureshealingnetwork.com/ They offer acupuncture and have a “certified animal talk therapist,” which is exactly like it sounds. Thank goodness the sitter we got is an atheist skeptic.

      1. Don’t get me started on raw food pet diets. Don’t you know they are just like what they ate in nature? Remember when wild chihuahuas roamed the plains hunting frozen hamburger patties? Me neither. I tell clients that want to feed “natural” that I can connect them with a vendor of live mice that some of my snake owners use and teach them how to disarticulate their cervical spine to kill them. Nobody ever takes me up on it.

    3. I just got a couple cats. We’re feeding them the grain-free stuff. Not because I necessarily think it’s healthier for them (might be, I dunno), but because that’s what they were fed before we got them, and getting a cat to change their diet is more difficult than getting a sane Republican to win the primary. Fuckin’ prima donnas. The price hike is less than the aggro cost of trying to bend a cat to my will.

      1. As long as it is a canned (moist) food from a brand you’ve heard of (not grocery store or generic; not somebody’s garage homebrew) you should be fine.

  27. I wasn’t going to tell this story, ’cause I’ve told it before, but…

    One night in the hotel a lady asked if I could recomend any movies. I said I hadn’t seen anything that looked interesting, and I was just waiting for the last Lord of the Rings movie to come out. She said: “Oh yeah, those are good. But, it’s such a dark period of our history.”

    It’s probably just as well I was struck mute…

  28. My mom is normally pretty sensible, but she believes anything her credulous nurse friend says about health care. Every week my sister and I get to discuss the latest health “fact” that her friend mentioned, which is aggravating since we’re up against the argument from authority. This week the topic was whether including 70% dark chocolate regularly in your diet will cure a whole host of medical issues from obesity to cholesterol.

  29. When I decided to propose to my wife, I had only a few days before my plane left to take me back to my then-home of San Francisco. I found the most gorgeous ring, a fire opal from Australia in 18-carat gold, beautifully crafted and set. Well, everything went against me almost immediately. The shop would only take cash, and when I tried to get a cash advance off my credit card, the bank back home froze my account. I tried numerous ways to get things unstuck – finally I was on the phone to my bank from another bank, while my bank was on the phone to the credit card company. Also setting up our date was almost a fiasco, with things being cancelled, schedules shifting. If I were a woo-believer, I might have thought that “the universe didn’t want me to get married” or some other such nonsense. But through lots of hassling, all done out of the view of my fiancée-to-be, I got the cash, bought the ring, made the final arrangements, took her out to dinner, and proposed over a wonderful South Indian meal. And I’ve never regretted it – it’s the best thing that ever happened to me.

      1. No, no. That’s wrong. Those are all still bad signs. The Universe has just not worked up to the finale yet.

        I’m sure there is a large meteor, or lighting bolt or some such in the future of this pair.

        Sighs.

        1. Ah, but suppose that we had a completely fulfilling life (which we do), and then get swallowed one day by a tsunami (also a possibility down here). The ancient Greeks would call that a life worth living – to be struck down suddenly while happily fulfilling your destiny.

    1. Some people also consider an opal to be bad luck, and tell people stupid stuff like getting an opal ring will lead to divorce or other such nonsense.

      My mother’s engagement ring is a gorgeous opal, and my parents have been happily married for over 30 years, so I guess you and they avoided the “bad luck”. Whew!

      1. Opal ring, opal schming…the major cause of divorce is marriage. No escaping that! But down here in Australasia, really good opals, though still expensive, are definitely used quite often for engagement rings and for other romantic gifts. Never heard of any luck being associated with the gem one way or another. My wife’s stone is blue shot with crimson and flame orange. Any luck that’s touched our marriage has been strictly that which we made for ourselves…

  30. I run into some nice *facts* in the toddler/mommy circles. Every so often you get a REAL GEM. Like last week, a mom told me how she likes to take her children to the chiropractor to get them adjusted, as it keeps them calmer. This was followed with how she got some homeopathic drops from CVS to *prevent* her new baby’s colic… RIGHT. She gave me a full recommendation on both! I tried to plant the seeds of skepticism. It is hard to dispute this when she her children are seeing a ?doctor? and CVS is selling that crap next to real medicine.

  31. I once had a creationist minister give me the best disproof of evolution I have ever heard. YOu may want to be seated for this.

    “evolution cannot have happened because of computer viruses. Think about it, computers have been around maybe 60 years, and the idea that an organism would ev0olve over billions of years so that we would eventually evolve and invent a host for it is ludicrous. Evolution can’t explain that.”” followed by the usual bla bla bla therefore jesus crap.

    I never thought I would see the day someone would actually make an argument to me that outdumbs Ray Comfort.

  32. two more

    I’m currently back in school taking a science course. I’m sure most remember the nonevent earlier this year when the mainstream press pointed out that the horoscopes had been changed from their original positions due to the procession of the earth (something astronomers had known for hundreds of years. The shory had just broke when I had a classmate come to me in tears because she had just found out that her hor0oscope had changed and she “didn’t think she could bring herself to act like the other sign.” I wish I was making that up.

    I had a friend who used to work for Revenue Canada (basically Canadian equivalent of the IRS). in 2001, following the 9/11 attacks and the anthrax scare, his call center was told they were no longer allowed to accept faxes, and that all fax machines would be removed “until the phone company could come up with and implement a reasonable way to screen incoming faxes for anthrax”. This policy stayed in place for over 3 weeks. To my knowledge no one has ever successfully faxed anthrax into the building, so I guess it worked…

  33. I signed up here just to take you up on making a request. I can find next to nothing on the internet (though I admit I’m not really versed on where to look for this subject) about what herbal supplements have actual medical benefit and which just have generations of passed along woo.

    Case in point: I have severe memory and concentration problems, and was given a bottle of gotu kola extract to see if it helps. I’m also on anxiety medication, and know that you can’t take some kinds of herbs while taking some kinds of brain meds. I took it to my chemist and he said, “I have no idea what this is.”

    I can’t find any actual clinical information (that I can discern as such at least)that tells me what proven medical benefits gotu kola has, what it really can and can’t do, and if it shouldn’t be taken with anything else.

    You know those How Crap Works books and websites about machinery and man-made stuff? I would seriously love something like that for things like this. Especially with a section titled “It Doesn’t” and just an alphabetical list of the stuff that don’t.

  34. Once when there was a total lunar eclipse I was standing in the street with my binoculars watching it when the lady who lives across the street asked me what I was watching. I told her I was watching the lunar eclipse. She said, “oh really? What planet is blocking the sun?” I stared at her for about a second but I bit my tongue and explained to her what was happening.

    1. Dayum!

      I’m just curious: How much did your IQ go down after this? Because you must be a bad-ass mo-fo to come out alive and kicking like that..

  35. I purchased a new dishwasher one time. The salesperson wheeled it to the door for me and as my brother was backing his pickup in for loading the salesperson said, “do you want it in the back?” I politely said, “in the back is fine,” but as I bit my lip I was really thinking, “there’s not quite enough room on my lap so just tie it to the hood please, or better still, just lash it to the rear bumper and we’ll drag it home, you big dodo!”

  36. “Yoga is about energizing the spirit. Then, the body will follow.”

    I suppose what you think about that one depends on how literally you mean it. It could just be a slightly ditzy way of saying “yoga helps clear my mind and relax me so I have more energy to get through the rest of the day”. Alternatively it could mean “yoga detoxifies my soul so I won’t get cancer”.

  37. My aunt’s business partner. Oh, my aunt’s business partner…

    Not only is he a Ron Paul fanboy, a raw foodist, a holocaust denialist, and a troofer, but he believes his invention (a compact hydroponic system) is a sign of the impending alien arrival. We don’t let him talk to the customers.

  38. Glad this topic came up, within the past week I heard a real doozy and if I didn’t comment here I might have forgotten it. A friend said, “[she] figured out time travel but [she] forgot to write it down.”

    Somehow I doubt that whatever she would have written would have had any bearing on time travel.

  39. Ridiculous comes from the Latin word ridire – to laugh, so I think the appropriate resonse to such comments is to laugh out loud.

  40. If I hear one more rant about “chemtrails” anywhere, I swear I’ll go ballistic. Or that HAARP is a “weather modification/earthquake generator/whatever” device.

    1. One my way to TAM one year my car broke down near Baker, Ca. Got towed to the only mechanic in town. After he had my car half disasembled, he points at a passing airliner and starts talking about the UN spraying chemtrails…

      As you might have guessed, I had to take my car to the shop back at home to redo the repairs he had done. In the end it would’ve been cheaper to get towed to Vegas, and I wouldn’t have missed the first day of TAM.

  41. This past week I got a series of youtube notices that someone replied to comments I made on “The Vaccine Song” over a year ago! Here are some of this loon’s gems:

    You are a lying shill & sociopath

    1-Our bodies do not produce formaldehyde. The only formaldehyde “created” in our bodies happens when a complex poison is broken down in the liver. That is immediately further metabolized into harmless products unless your liver function is impaired. Formaldehyde anywhere in your body is POISONOUS

    2-Eating an egg can’t be compared with injecting chick tissue into an infant

    3-Barbara’s “agenda”? is to protect kids, your’s is to continue to hurt them

    Thimerosal was not removed from pediatric vaccines. The amount was reduced in some & remains at full original toxic overdose in the pediatric flu vax
    There was no law or regulation requiring removal of thimerosal. It was voluntary
    You are simply another lying shill for the drug industry.

    MMR’s package insert has 5 full pages of adverse events, warnings, precautions and contraindications. There are DOZENS of different types of brain injuries that happened during clinical trials

    Google “Package Insert” & any vax (Like MMR or DTaP). PAGES of warnings, side effects, precautions & contraindications
    Merck makes 13+ vax. People running Merck will murder customers for profit. Vioxx is the prime example, lawsuits are still occurring. Merck personnel knew in 1996 Vioxx was killing. They lied to the FDA & journals for years, killing 60,000 Americans
    They are lying about vaccines too

    1. Hey Chris – I was thinking that all us lying shills for the drug industry should take all of those big cheques that Big Pharma keeps sending us and buy our own Greek island. With the millions that we’re receiving for deluding people into getting vaccinated, we could have a fleet of yachts and our own private jet. What say, fellow shills, are you with me?

      (Irony alert for those who don’t get it…)

      1. Oh, but he’s also a sociopath. He’s not doing it for the money, he’s doing it for the sheer pleasure of harming children.

        1. That’s good for a giggle.

          I am a sociopath just because I want to protect my kid with the heart condition from illness (sorry, blatant blog flog). I have been waiting form my Pharma Shill checks for years.

          I looked around and it seems he calls everyone sociopaths. I thought he was funny in a kind of pathetic, needs to go to a psychiatrist, kind of way.

  42. Whenever I watch football or baseball with my husband. Those damn Phiten necklaces drive me batty!

    Also, my darling mother. She’s all about herbal remedies. She’s constantly got something new she’s using and usually selling. Bless her heart.

  43. Sorry if this is a little TMI – but my old roommate told me I shouldn’t be using the pill to stop my periods. Because of the moon.
    See, I started on the pill about a year after starting my period because it was completely without pattern or schedule. The pill made it happen when it was supposed to, how it was supposed to. I was no longer curled up on the couch in agony and I knew when to celebrate another month of not being pregnant. Recently, my periods have become quite unpleasant, so my doctor had me change my dosage so I am taking the pills for three months straight, then having a period. According to my doctor, there is “no medical reason to have your period”. I was like YAY! but she says that the moon has something to do with it. I am not sure how. The moon sure wasn’t pulling its weight before I got on the pill.

  44. I work in tech support so I have to pick and choose.

    This week’s special snowflake was a lady called in to ask for help because the equipment I work on wasn’t printing to their printer. I asked if I could log on remotely. She said no because their wireless router was down so there was no internet connection. So I asked how the computer was connected to the printer, via a USB or some other kind of cable. She was like ‘duh’ it’s a wireless printer. I waited a few seconds to see if she got the connection between the wireless internet being out and the wireless printer not working. Nope, I had to explain it to her. Then she got mad at me because I couldn’t fix it and slammed the phone down.

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