Religion

Jesus! He’s back!

Jesus is here! He’s here! In a rocking chair! In Orange County, Ca. (video after the jump)

My observations:

  1. That Jesus looks very Asian… and somehow also appears to be Ed Norton.
  2. If Jesus is going to sit in a rocking chair, why would he sit directly in the line of the Fart Stream?
  3. Why won’t Jesus just come back in a body? It’s much easier to make out his face when it’s actually on the front of a head… you know, like faces are.
  4. It is required that every religious pareidolia story must end with the reporter speculating on how much the “image” will go for on ebay.


 

Elyse

Elyse

Elyse MoFo Anders is the bad ass behind forming the Women Thinking, inc and the superhero who launched the Hug Me! I'm Vaccinated campaign as well as podcaster emeritus, writer, slacktivist extraordinaire, cancer survivor and sometimes runs marathons for charity. You probably think she's awesome so you follow her on twitter.

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30 Comments

  1. February 22, 2011 at 11:28 am —

    Elyse,

    You’ve missed the whole moral of the story. This is clearly a miracle point out the fact that Edward Norton IS Jesus!

  2. February 22, 2011 at 11:29 am —

    Man, Jesus looks pissed.

  3. February 22, 2011 at 11:31 am —

    Related to #4:

    Fake AP Stylebook: “It is actually illegal to do a story on technology trends without asking where flying cars are.”

  4. February 22, 2011 at 11:38 am —

    Since Jesus chose that spot for his face to be……
    Isn’t the only question whether it was a man or woman normally sitting in that chair? Having his face in between the butt cheeks of a man would mean some fundies would have to rethink their anti-gay policies!

  5. February 22, 2011 at 11:48 am —

    Jesus looks like Ed Norton? Damn, I’d hit that messiah! (Crossposts to LadyPorn.)

  6. February 22, 2011 at 11:51 am —

    @Glow-Orb:

    COTW!

    I wish there were an award for Comment of the Entire Internet.

  7. February 22, 2011 at 12:11 pm —

    @Elyse:

    I wish there were an award for Comment of the Entire Internet.

    There IS!

    http://you-win-the-internet.com/

    Congrats to @Glow-Orb!

  8. February 22, 2011 at 12:26 pm —

    Sweet! If the internet is mine now, do I get to decide who’s on it? (Age of Autism, I’m looking at you!)

  9. February 22, 2011 at 12:34 pm —

    @Glow-Orb: COTW! LadyPorn, indeed.

  10. February 22, 2011 at 12:36 pm —

    If Jesus is going to sit in a rocking chair, why would he sit directly in the line of the Fart Stream?

    This is the guy who dined with the prostitutes and tax collectors. He’s clearly anti-establishment .

    @infinitemonkey

    This is clearly a miracle point out the fact that Edward Norton IS Jesus!

    … and Tyler Durden. There’s your holy trinity.

  11. February 22, 2011 at 12:37 pm —

    @Imrryr:

    I think i’d be pissed if i spent possably years behind a cushion being farted on.

  12. February 22, 2011 at 12:53 pm —

    @Glow-Orb:“I’d hit that messiah!” …given that he’s already been nailed.

  13. February 22, 2011 at 12:53 pm —

    Looks more like Charles Manson to me…

  14. February 22, 2011 at 1:38 pm —

    This can’t be Jesus. We all know he is not coming back until May 21. I mean really, people!
    http://www.familyradio.com/index2.html

  15. February 22, 2011 at 1:40 pm —

    I dunno…he looks like King Haggard to me if you look at that slash as the mouth rather than a moustache:

    http://www.genjipress.com/img/dvd/2006/B0002GTRGK-181.jpg

  16. February 22, 2011 at 1:44 pm —

    @scribe999:

    Too late. @Glow-Orb already rubbed one out. You cannot change her Divine Norton ladyporn.

  17. February 22, 2011 at 2:05 pm —

    @Elyse: I’m glad I was too late to take away anyone’s good time ;)

  18. February 22, 2011 at 2:17 pm —

    Why is a pareidolia image of a bearded man always interpreted as Jesus. It might be Gregg Allman! Or, in this instance, Jim Morrison.

  19. February 22, 2011 at 2:28 pm —

    Naw, that’s Scar from The Lion King.

  20. February 22, 2011 at 3:51 pm —

    My first impression was that it looked like a Gelfling. But I can see the lion also.

  21. February 22, 2011 at 4:07 pm —

    1) He is Asian.

    2) Blazing Saddles

    3) It’s a test of faith.

    4) Yes.

  22. February 22, 2011 at 4:30 pm —

    Jesus didn’t pick that area because of the excreted gas. He is the RESULT of years of anal back draft!!!

  23. February 22, 2011 at 7:50 pm —

    Looks like a lion to me. Kinda like Aslan, therefore, he IS Jesus

  24. February 23, 2011 at 11:30 am —

    @IsisUptown:
    Actually, Isisuptown, this one looks pretty Allman-y. My first thoughts were Trent Reznor and Varg Vikernes.

  25. February 23, 2011 at 2:33 pm —

    All hail to Bob Marley, Halleluyah!

  26. February 23, 2011 at 3:58 pm —

    heh.. the first thing i thoguht of when i saw it was nomak from blade 2
    http://www.dvdactive.com/misc/chris/hdcaps/blade2/blade2bdcap1.jpg
    (not the best pic/angle)

  27. February 23, 2011 at 4:28 pm —

    I see Him in the chair. But, sorry: that is not Christ.
    http://static.reelmovienews.com/images/gallery/christian-bale-shot.jpg

    He is the Night! He is in that zone of the chair for one reason: Justice. Remember, he does say members of certain groups “are a superstitious, cowardly lot.”

  28. February 23, 2011 at 4:56 pm —

    @DanSRose:

    I guess you don’t always get the messiah you want. Sometimes you get the messiah you deserve.

  29. February 23, 2011 at 6:17 pm —

    That’s not Jesus! It’s Scar from The Lion King! Oh noes!

  30. February 23, 2011 at 6:19 pm —

    You may also recognize it as a Turian from the Mass Effect games.

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