ParentingSkepticism

Immunize, mofos!

“These ain’t the kinda shots that killed Tupac
They put the brakes on polio so little kids could walk”

I love this so much.

Especially the rotavirus imagery.

Lyrics:

I really wanna immunize so frickin’ bad
Protect you from those germs you’ve never had
Don’t want you to catch the mumps–meningitis too
Pertussis, hepatitis or the flu.
But everywhere I turn my eyes,
The internet is spreading lies.
So many parents scared by fairy tales and hate
I need to educate, so that I can vaccinate

Yo, lots of parents scared by the myths, they’re
Peeing in they’re underwear
“Shots ain’t needed,” suckers scoff
Now they’re kids get whooping cough
This bozo Wakefield said “shots make you autistic”
But that fool was paid by lawyers just to jack the statistics
And now the public’s understanding’s unrealistic
These lies on the internet make me go ballistic
Like aluminum in vaccinations, folks say, “Oh No”
But you get more in your diet just from eating some Ho Hos
Suckaz think, they catchin’ Flu from the Flu shot
But the shot stops flu, and that’s a cold that you caught, fool
Keep sayin’ that vaccine and not disease makes you illest
Like Gary Coleman said, “Whachu talkin’ ‘bout, Willis?”

But everywhere I turn my eyes,
Some so-called expert’s spreading lies
A different talk show every night, oh why get played
Cause it would be so great, if we’d all just vaccinate
oh oooh oh oooh we should all just vaccinate
oh oooh oh oooh we should all just vaccinate

Patients ask me what I’d do for my relatives
Knowin’ lots of medicine

I’d show ‘em vaccinations save more lives than almost anything
Don’t let my daughter get up in the car without a car seat
Why should I let her get pertussis, measles, or the mumps, G?
These ain’t the kinda shots that killed Tupac
They put the brakes on polio so little kids could walk
Prevented deafness, retardation–changed the world
You’re damn right I’m gonna give ‘em to my little girl
Don’t give Chuck Norris shots, though, that’d be dim
Chuck need vaccines? Naw…vaccines need him
To beat some sense up in you, do what needs to be done
To keep our children in the playground, not up in no iron lung
Sing it

I really wanna immunize so frickin’ bad
Protect you from those germs you’ve never had
Don’t want you to catch the pox–rotavirus too
Polio, rubella or H flu.
But everywhere I turn my eyes
Some B-list actor’s spreading lies
Listen to reason, hear the truth ‘fore it’s too late
We can keep our children safe, if we’d all just vaccinate
oh oooh oh oooh we should all just vaccinate
oh oooh oh oooh

I really wanna immunize so frickin’ bad

Elyse

Elyse MoFo Anders is the bad ass behind forming the Women Thinking, inc and the superhero who launched the Hug Me! I'm Vaccinated campaign as well as podcaster emeritus, writer, slacktivist extraordinaire, cancer survivor and sometimes runs marathons for charity. You probably think she's awesome so you follow her on twitter.

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5 Comments

  1. @ZDoggMD: Wow, I’ve now officially fixed the Internet! My work here is done.

    P.S. Very late, but my gastroenterologist told me 3 years ago I should get Hep A&B vaccinations because my liver is a little dicey (one enzyme test is slightly elevated.) Finally remembered to ask my doctor about it, and got the 1st shots (of 2 for Hep A and 3 for Hep B) a couple of weeks ago. So I’m still allowed to comment here, I hope?

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