Comment o’ the Whatever!

You guys, it’s been, like, years since I’ve posted a comment o’ the week (COTW to those in the know). I’ve been so busy that I haven’t properly acknowledged how funny and clever and sexy our commenters are, and for that I apologize profusely.

Reminder: nominate your favorite comments by logging in, clicking the little arrow next to them, and writing “COTW” somewhere in your response!

Anyway, on to the awards!

Congrats to slxpluvs for the best comment ever, in response to BugGirl’s request for introvert dating tips:

As an introvert with poor social boundaries, I find I have no problem meeting new people. The trick is that you’ve gotta make sure they blink first; I find it works best to move my face closer and closer until they blink. Do NOT do this to little children as they often carry mace in my town now.

If the “blink last” method doesn’t work, then I would recommend AGAINST joining a group like from meetup.com. They are filled with weirdos. Instead, go to a coffee shop and start reading a book. It is INEVITABLE that 60% of the people will comment on it. Especially if it is religious, like Calvin and Hobbes. Just lick those people who comment and noone else can take them (people are like pizza slices that way).

Incidentally, the whole “licking equals mine” policy is NOT enforceable in New Zealand. This is because their insects are so big that they have tongues. You wouldn’t want to be dibsed just because a huge insect licked you a few times, would you?

(Note for rule mongers: the licking thing only applies to the current layer of epithelium. As soon as you shed what you got, you’re available for re-licking/re-dibsing. Depending on where you are licked, this takes about a month.)

scribe999 wins runner0up with this helpful advice:

Some kind of physical activity club or whatnot. Some rock climbers I know are a bunch of friendly folks.

Or, build your own social group…robots can never hate you, no matter how much they try to kill you.