Quickies

Skepchick Quickies 8.10

Amanda

Amanda works in healthcare, is a loudmouthed feminist, and proud supporter of the Oxford comma.

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13 Comments

  1. “Serious Enquires Only Please”

    I, for one, can think of nothing more serious than having my booty enhanced by a powerful wiccan. But why not skip the middle-man, as it were, and have a spell cast by a powerful wiccan which simply gets me all the sex, love, money and geeky science beer I could ever want?

  2. Don’t fall for the booty enhancement thing! Nine bucks is way too much, I’ll do it for just six bucks for the first casting and only four for subsequent castings! And my castings are more effective and reliable as I perform them from inside a magical septagram, scientifically proven to be 40% more occult than a mere pentagram.

    But wait, there’s more: If you order today, I’ll also cast a second spell that’ll improve your facial hygiene.

    This offer is not available in any stores!

  3. I’d actually seen something similar to the mica theory in a book called Life Ascending. I don’t recall his precise set of arguments, though, as to why he thought things might have started near undersea vents in, IIRC, small vesicles. He might even have been talking about mica… it’s been a few months.

    However, I just had to deal with a crazy man. The government put a chip in him, you know. To control him. But he’s a Gemini, so he can be both an angel and a devil.

  4. I think I am starting to see the side for violence. I read the Chechan story and I wanted to fly there with an ouzi and take out Kadyrov, then follow up with the “exorcist” doctor.
    Then possibly get on a plane and find the idiot in russian government who convinced them that turning a blind eye to this horror show was a good plan.

    But of course, that would just be silly since all of them are so completely replaceable from an apparently endless supply of idiots, bigots and crazies and power greedy mouth breathers.

    So, I guess I will just make fun of the butt witches.

  5. @Rei Malebario:

    Oh yeah, well, I just cast the spell on all of you, thirty times, with a ruby scepter, AND from inside a TRISKADECAgram!

    I employ a donation-based model, so if you like your butt, all I ask is to send me a picture of it (for, um, promotional material) and a donation of your choosing.

  6. I would dearly love to believe that no one, anywhere, ever, is purchasing a booty enhancement spell on ebay, but sadly I have a high degree of confidence that this person makes money selling absolutely nothing to gullible, insecure, lonely people. And I hate them with all the power of my 12-hour-days-six-days-a-week aching feet. Bastards!

    I also love that they are advertising “more than 10 available!” How many more than 10? What are the raw materials? How was that number even arrived at? If I don’t act now, will there be no more booty-enhancing energy left? If my booty gets bumped up, does that mean someone else’s booty is getting comparably smaller somewhere?

  7. “If your booty is especially flat, you can even pay to have the spell cast 3 times.”

    Twice I can understand. Three times is just plain unsymmetric.

  8. @Garbledina:

    If my booty gets bumped up, does that mean someone else’s booty is getting comparably smaller somewhere?

    You think there would be any problem finding willing donors?

    Seriously, I have never heard of anyone, male or female, who wanted their butt made bigger. (Yes, some men prefer women that way, but that’s not the same thing.)

  9. @starve2act:

    I, for one, can think of nothing more serious than having my booty enhanced by a powerful wiccan.

    Do Wiccans still believe in the Threefold Law?

  10. I’ve made my room into a dodecahedron and spend my time being bespelled by booty. Bring your booty around and I’ll tell you it’s enchanting, for free.

  11. @pciszek:
    I had to look up “Threefold Law”, which I now know is also called “Rule of Three”. In my line of work the only rule of three I know has to do with writing sitcoms, doing stand-up or [some other thing].
    If their Threefold Law works, then you’ll know the Witchy Bottom-Imbigginers when you see them, for sure.

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