Afternoon Inquisition

AI: Make a Toast!

I find myself in festive times. On more than one occasion as of late, I have found myself with glassed raised high in joyful celebration of life and friendship. But the right words often escape me at just that particular moment and the thought occurred to me that we need some good skeptical toasts!

With that in mind I offer this slightly rephrased gem and ask you to play along:

There are good chicks,
and there are bad chicks,
the ones that refuse to see.
But the best chicks are skepchicks,
and may they always be!

champagne

What would be a good skeptical toast?

The Afternoon Inquisition (or AI) is a question posed to you, the Skepchick community. Look for it to appear Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays, and Sundays at 3pm ET.

Amy Roth

Amy Davis Roth (aka Surly Amy) is a multimedia artist who resides in Los Angeles, California. She makes Surly-Ramics. She is the fearless leader of Mad Art Lab. Support her on Patreon. Follow her on twitter: @SurlyAmy or on Google+. Tip Jar is here.

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26 Comments

  1. I’ve always really liked this old irish prayer as a toast, except for the last line:

    May the road rise to meet you
    May the wind be always at your back
    The sun shine warm upon your face
    The rains fall soft upon your fields
    And until we meet again,
    May God hold you in the palm of his hand.

    we should come up with a good skeptical revision for that last line and then it would be perfect!

  2. How ’bout something from Corinthians 15:32 with a tagline?

    “Let us eat and drink, for tomorrow we die.”
    And we all know that there’s fuckin’ nothing after that so drink up ye skeptics and live!

  3. Man, I got all excited that you were talking about heated bread products, and got deeply disappointed. In response, I offer my selection of Toast-related haiku:

    TOAST – canto 1

    darkness knob is set
    to three – carbon and smoke fill
    my nose – one’s the same

    margarine, cream cheese,
    peanut butter or jelly –
    all spreads are welcome

    cinnamon sugar
    sparkles on its rough surface
    i need chocolate milk

    no time for bacon
    nor for eggs over easy
    just juice and hot bread

    no rich foods when ill
    you can keep down the first
    food that nourishes

    diner food forever
    the salty tang stays with me
    creamed chipped beef on toast

    MORE TOAST – canto 2

    poultry will not do
    nor asparagus, nor cheese
    only this goes with tea

    there’s nothing to eat
    all of the cupboards are bare
    wait i have some bread

    simple, elegant
    economical, filling
    warm, brown, crisp, eaten

    baguette, seeded rye
    whole wheat or a simple white loaf
    the source matters not

    a lazy sunday
    a simple breakfast in bed
    crumbs between the sheets

    fried eggs and ketchup
    or bacon and hp sauce
    plain bread just won’t do

    TOAST REDUX – canto 3

    my wife likes houmous
    or peanut butter with it:
    i like marmalade

    i don’t understand
    how the flavour is improved
    when cut into shapes

    like the great phoenix
    to be reborn dough must be
    cast twice to the flame

    love, hate: divided
    marmite polarises all
    but don’t blame the toast

    lobster thermidor?
    steak au poivre? champagne? foie gras?
    caviar? no, toast.

    with greasy fingers
    i touch the brand new curtains
    it was SO worth it.

    THE END

  4. As for Irish toasts (with the god part changed), my favorite is:

    May those who love us love us
    And those who do not, may [we] turn their hearts
    And if [we] cannot turn their hearts, may they turn their ankles
    So we will know them by their limping.

  5. Ladies and gentlemen, in 1851 Leon Foucault demonstrated, by means of his famous pendulum, the angular speed of rotation of the earth. If you would all raise your glasses – that’s right – I would like you all to join me in making the world spin just a little faster…
    Cheers!

  6. Greetings All!

    I’m new, and i’ve been a bit of a lurker for a number of months now. This is what brought me out of my little hobbit hole.

    My favorite toast is a lovely Irish one:
    As you slide down the bannister of life, May the splinters never point in the wrong direction!

    With Love,
    Lycan-Girl

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