Afternoon Inquisition

AI: Come on, Get Happy!

I just flew in from San Francisco and man my arms are tired. (Terribly sorry.) I was participating in the Bay Area Maker Faire. It was seriously fan-freakin-tastic and I plan on doing a full post about the event later to fill you in on some of the creative awesomeness of the show. One of the makers even designed a commercial spacecraft and parked it in the building! And there were robots and steampunk exhibits and solar-powered insects and Adam Savage gave a talk and much, much more.

But first, I want you to check this shit out:
cute shit
The handmade poop was gift from my ceramic artist pal, Cris at Skeletal Dropkick. Yeah, she totally threw it at me! What? Her booth was across from mine.

I’m pretty certain it is the cutest shit I have EVER seen!
poop
I never knew being hit with poo could bring me so much joy.

Today is your chance to laugh it up and share a giggle with your interweb pals!

What silly things make you happy? Know any good jokes? (Mega bonus points for science or skepticism jokes!)

The Afternoon Inquisition (or AI) is a question posed to you, the Skepchick community. Look for it to appear Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays, and Sundays at 3pm ET.

Amy Roth

Amy Davis Roth (aka Surly Amy) is a multimedia artist who resides in Los Angeles, California. She makes Surly-Ramics. She is the fearless leader of Mad Art Lab. Support her on Patreon. Follow her on twitter: @SurlyAmy or on Google+. Tip Jar is here.

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52 Comments

  1. I love lame jokes. Puns are excellent. I know Phil Plaitt gets a lot off Skeletal Dropkick creations for his lame puns, but I love them. His jokes make me happy.

    Some websites that I frequent are http://www.worth1000.com and I usually hit up the “Recast” galleries, or the Mate a Movie galleries. This is stuff like posters for Die Hard with Paul Ross (or whatever the “happy trees” guy name was) as the lead, or comining two movies, like 101 Dalmations with 300, to make 301 Dalmations (Tonight, we sleep in kennels!).

    I guess all that can be summed up under “parody”. I’m also a Weird Al fan. Sometimes, I’ll set my iPod to play “White & Nerdy”, or go check out the video on youtube. Afterwards, I might find pirated clips of the Animaniacs-one of the best cartoons out there.

  2. Deepak Chopra dies and goes to heaven (which, in and of itself is rife with comic potential, but that’s just the start of the joke). St. Peter is showing him around and as they’re walking along suddenly a huge crowd comes into view, and in the middle of the crowd is Oprah. And everyone in the crowd is jockeying for position to be close to her, to touch her, etc.

    And Deepak calls out, “Hey, Oprah! Hello!” but she just vaguely waves and him and keeps walking. So he turns to St. Peter and says, “Hey, what gives? I just died a moment ago and I hadn’t heard anything about Oprah dying – did she die at the same time I did?”

    And St. Peter says, “No, she’s fine – that’s not Oprah. That’s God – he just thinks he’s Oprah.”

    (Bazinga!)

  3. Alfred Hitchcock once said that puns are the highest form of literature. I wholeheartedly agree with him. (From his lips: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gu5g86nhWK4)

    But one of the things that have given me a real silly pleasure is a toy I got from Burger King that was about the Disney movie The Hunchback from Notre Dame. (http://cgi.ebay.com/Burger-King-Hunchback-Notre-Dame-Laverne-NIB-/140407890540 for a pic.) You would wind it up and the arms would rotate at the shoulder very quickly and it would bounce about excitedly. It would never fail to make me smile. And then, what really made me smile, is that some engineer got paid to make these things. Lucky guy!

  4. A physicist, chemist and statistician are having a coffe in the break room when they notice a wastepaper basket is on fire. The chemist says, “We need to remove all of the oxygen in the room and the fire will go out”. The physicist says, “No, we need to lower the temperature in the room to absolute zero and the fire will go out”. As they are arguing, the statistician is busy setting fires all over the room. They ask him what he is doing and he says, “Clearly we need a larger sample size”.

  5. @CanadaLes:

    Also:
    A chemist notices a fire in his wastebasket. “Oh,” he says, “intense exothermic reaction.” Looking up, he sees a pitcher of water on the window ledge. “Ah,” he says, “high specific heat.” He pours water on the fire and extinguishes it.

    An engineer sees a fire in her wastebasket. “Oh, oh,” she says, “combustion.” Looking up, she sees a pitcher of water on the window ledge. “Aha,” she says, “coolant.” She pours exactly the correct amount of water to extinguish the fire.

    A mathematician sees a fire in his wastebasket. Looking up, he sees a pitcher of water on the window ledge. He writes an equation for the fire and an equation for the water. “Yes,” he says, “I could extinguish the fire.

  6. For the past year I have been making silly little videos, both with my son and without my son. They have included talking Pez dispensers, a talking hand, filming the beginning of colonoscopy prep , and on and on. I present to you a recent one which might be appropriate, given that TAM includes magic, called JAPANESE CLOSE UP MAGIC. Expect nothing and you may smile. Expect something and you will be greatly disappointed.

  7. A physicist and a mathematician are being interviewed (together) for a job. Once the interview committee are suitably impressed by their academic credentials, one says “Now we should see how you perform on more practical tasks.” To the physicist: “There’s a kitchen over there, make a cup of tea.”

    So the physicist takes the kettle from the cupboard, fills it with water and plugs it in to heat, and gets out a teacup. At this point she is interrupted. “OK, we can see you know what you’re doing.” To the mathematician: “Now you complete the task.”

    The mathematician puts the cup away, unplugs the kettle and empties it of water and puts it away, and then announces “Thus reducing the problem to one which has already been solved.”

  8. So, a dyslexic walks into a bra…

    No, wait..

    A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says “Hey little fella, we have a drink named after you.”
    And the grasshopper says “Really, you’ve got a drink named Morty?”

  9. My favorite joke in the whole wide world is more interactive than the comment section allows for easily. So, I would have you do this to someone else before you judge. Here is it:

    1) Introduce your joke to the victim. Say, “I want to show you a magic trick. Hold your hand out like this:”

    2) Hold your arm horizontal but relaxed, palm down. Exact position here isn’t too important, but it should be easy to do.

    3) They will be skeptical, so hold your position for a few extra seconds until they comply.

    4) Then say, “Are you ready for the magic trick?”

    5) When they say ‘yes’, point to their hand and say, “Mind control.”

  10. Stupid jokes, especially with lame puns or painful answers. (I won a prize at a recent conference for being the only one to know why elephants paint their toenails red.)
    Birdwatching. Heck, watching critters in general.
    My wife. (8th anniversary today!)

  11. Wow. I can’t believe I’m the first one to say this, but BOOBIES make me happy. Especially the blue-footed kind. :-)

    Here’s my “joke” contribution:

    Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend.

    “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

    Watson replies, “I see millions of stars.”

    “What does that tell you?”

    Watson ponders for a minute. “Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Timewise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?”

    Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks. “Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent.”

  12. Things that make me happy.

    My kids.

    Pretty women.

    Pretty women who let me see their boobies.

    Pretty women who send me naked pictures of themsleves.

    Grilled peanut butter and bacon sandwiches.

    Grilled peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

    Wine

    Gin

    Bourbon

    Rye

    Scotch
    Craft beer

    Smallville

    Mythbusters

    The Big Bang Theory

    The preview for Batman XXX

    Carl Sagan books

    Isaac Asimov books

    Ray Bradbury books

    public libraries

    national parks

    COTW nominations

    Sitting in an upscale non-smoking bar with the lights low and a perfectly mixed martini and someone interesting to talk to while Miles Davis is playing in the background.

    Sitting in the back of Le Hot Club De France in 1937 Paris and watching Edward R Murrow introduce Django Reinhard and Stephane Grappelli while I enjoy another absinthe.

    A dinner at the restaurant at the end of the universe

    comfortable shoes

  13. Whaaaa?

    No pretty women who send you naked pictures of themsleves as they eat grilled peanut butter and bacon sandwiches while drinking gin before dinner at the restaurant at the end of the Universe?

    Fooey!

  14. Silly things that make me happy include my hamster stuffed animal, ruining my sister’s drawing on the whiteboard, when I pass some nightmarish challenge in a videogame just because I am an obsessed completionist, and hugging my pillow and rubbing my face against it.

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