Skepticism

3-D Porn Pregnancy: Incredible but True?

I made this video about a lady who may or may not have lied about getting knocked up by a 3D porn movie!

Transcription after the jump (thanks Marilove!)

Ok, don’t adjust your monitor.  It’s not you, it’s me.  Well, it’s actually my inner 12 year old, which occasionally comes out and dyes my hair a ridiculous color.  And today, that color is … um, super-hero — super-villan, yeah, super villan red.

And speaking of my inner 12 year old:  Today, I’m going to talk about porn.  Well, I’m actually going to talk about a particular story involving porn.  It’s been sent to me by a number of people.  It’s apparently – a woman claims she got pregnant from 3D porn.

The story goes that a white american woman got pregnant, despite that her white, soldier husband was off in another land at the time, and then she had a black baby.  As a means to explain this, she said that it was a 3D porn she had gone to see.  And her husband accepted this.  Because movies are so realistic these days.  It’s like they are thrusting into your vagina.

So when I first got this story, I thought, there is no way that this is true.  Because, first of all, there is no such thing as 3D porn.  And then I looked it up.

Oh, my God.  there is 3D porn!  How did I not know this?  Why is this the first I’ve heard of 3D porn?  It’s like, a window has opened into a whole new world.  A world of thrusting penises, coming at my face.  I’m just gonna … I’m just gonna close that window, and walk away.  And never go near that window again.  So yeah, there is 3D porn.

But then I thought, there is no way that anyone can be that stupid.  That stupid to believe such a stupid stupid lie.  But then, today, I saw this video and uh, it made me believe that there may be people that stupid.  It was an attack ad focused on a republican candidate for Govenor of Alabama, who apparently believes in evolution.  And I realized, that not only do his opponants not understand science and evolution, to the point where they think it doesn’t exist.  But they also believe that their entire voter base, their electrates, are also that ignorant.  And they celebrate this fact in an attack ad.

So I thought, yeah … maybe, maybe people can be that stupid.  So, I was ready to accept this one, and then I looked it into a little bit, and actually it turns out that this article comes form a Brazillian website, that’s kind of like the Onion, but in Portequese.  So it’s just a completely made-up story, and of course as Mark Twain said, “That a lie can travel half-way around the world, while the truth is still putting on its shoes.”  So, we all think it’s true, while the Brazilians are now laughing at how stupid we are, for a different reason.  So, you know, in conclusion, yes there is such thing as 3D porn, yes people are that stupid, but no — 3D movies probably cannot get you pregnant, but just to be sure, you should probably wear a hair net the next time you watch Avatar.

Rebecca Watson

Rebecca leads a team of skeptical female activists at Skepchick.org. She travels around the world delivering entertaining talks on science, atheism, feminism, and skepticism. There is currently an asteroid orbiting the sun with her name on it. You can follow her every fascinating move on Twitter or on Google+.

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24 Comments

  1. You are so cute! I will transcribe this video tonight, unless someone already is. Feel free to continue to send me videos that need transcribing, btw. I had some health problems I was dealing with, but everything is fine now and I have more time for internet things again.

  2. Though the story is fake, I had no trouble believing it. Here’s why:

    In med school, during my OB/gyn clerkship our attendings emphatically stressed the importance of not overestimating the understanding/ intelligence of our patients. Always ask stupid questions. One gave an example of a consult with a couple who were trying to conceive. Among the questions she asked about how often/ when they had intercourse, she asked “Do you use condoms?” All of us students agreed we would not be comfortable asking such a stupid question, afraid of insulting the patients’ intelligence. The couple had answered “Of course! you always have to use a condom!” and had no idea this would prevent conception.

    Other attendings confirmed that they had had similar experiences, e.g. couples who wondered why the couldn’t get pregnant even though they never had vaginal sex because they didn’t like it. We were assured that such patients were not rare.

    Also scary, some high risk patients said they used condoms but when asked, couldn’t correctly explain how to use them. Use your imagination.

  3. @B Hitt:

    I’m pretty sure Snopes has covered the infertile due to always using a condom/never having sex thing.

    But it doesn’t surprise me that people are ignorant of how to properly use a condom. In fact, I bet most people don’t use them properly. (Especially given that with perfect use they’re about 97% effective but with typical use they’re about 85% effective). There’s far more to them than it appears.

  4. The sheer stupidity of people never ceases to surprise me. You’d think I’d get used to it, but no, I don’t. Being so intensely intellectual and curious myself, I don’t get why people just don’t care to find out about reality.

  5. I worked at a posh summer camp where girls aged 7-12 actually truly believed the weirdest things that their PARENTS had told them. And I always assumed the parents had been saying these stupid things as protective lies, until one time I found out that, no, actually, some of these parents believed what they were saying because they had been told the same thing by their parents.

    Gems like how the girls had to wrap the toilet seats in paper (not a layer on top, wrapped mummy-style) because, as one girl told me, “My mom says sometimes boys go into girls’ bathrooms and do BAD THINGS and then if you sit on the bare seat where they did their BAD THING you can get AIDS or pregnant.” This was a 7 year old, worried about pregnancy.

    Or that if a boy sits too close to you at campfire and hasn’t showered enough, his sperm can jump onto you and make you pregnant.

    Or that if you have anal sex underwater, you won’t get AIDS or any STDs…although on the flip side, if you have finger sex under water, it’ll attract dangerous fish that might bite your penis or go into your vagina.

    Seriously. People believe the craziest shit and teach it to their kids on purpose.

  6. Of course people are that stupid. They will buy any ridiculous story. Millions of people still believe a girl was being truthful when she told her husband that God got her pregnant.

    3-D porn, mytholgical spirits, and toilet seats: Planned parenthood’s biggest nightmares.

  7. @@Elyse: I just read the Snopes article which was very good as usual. The newspaper story they talk about seems almost certainly satirical but is not at all far off from the patients of the OB/gyns that taught me. At the lecture on fertility workups, our lecturer asked the handful of residents and attendings present whether they regularly saw adult patients who didn’t understand where babies come from and every one of them said they did. Truth is at least as strange as fiction.

  8. Completely superficial comment:

    I actually really like your hair that colour. Did you use henna or something else? Did you have to bleach your hair first?

    Don’t worry, I’m not planning to SWF you or anything. I just really like redheads, so I figure I should be one.

  9. This was the hardest thing I’ve had to transcribe, because I was laughing so hard.

    I’m not sure if it cracked me up more to hear Rebecca say this, and then type it:

    Because movies are so realistic these days. That it’s like they are thrusting right into your vagina.

    Or maybe this:

    A world of thrusting penises, coming at my face.

    Penises. Coming. At. Her. Face.

    LMAO.

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