Yes, this is late. I’ve been very busy lately. My weekends are now chock full, start to finish, with skeptical projects and commitments.  I’m going to need weekends to start being 3-5 days long to get everything done.
Help!
How can I create more time?
The Afternoon Inquisition (or AI) is a question posed to you, the Skepchick community. Look for it to appear Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays, and Sundays at 3pm ET.
You must become a Time Lord.
@James Fox:
I don’t have time to do that!
Can I hire a freelance one?
A Delorian and some homeopathic plutonium (you know, for moar power).
* 1/4 cup plus 6 tablespoons (1 1/4 sticks) butter
* 2 1/4 pounds white onions, thinly sliced
* 3 tablespoons balsamic vinegar
* 2 teaspoons chopped fresh thyme
* 3 1/2 pounds russet potatoes, peeled, cut into 1-inch pieces
* 6 to 8 tablespoons whole milk
* 1/4 cup prepared white horseradish
Melt 1/4 cup butter in large skillet over medium heat. Add onions; sauté until deep golden, about 30 minutes. Add vinegar and thyme. Reduce heat to low; sauté 4 minutes. Season with salt and pepper.
Meanwhile, cook potatoes in large pot of boiling salted water until very tender, about 20 minutes. Drain. Return to same pot; mash until smooth. Add 6 tablespoons milk, horseradish and 6 tablespoons butter; stir to blend. Thin with 2 tablespoons milk if necessary. Season with salt and pepper.
Transfer potatoes to serving dish. Spoon onion mixture atop potatoes. (Can be prepared 8 hours ahead. Cover with foil and refrigerate. Rewarm in 350°F oven about 30 minutes.) Serve hot.
Retire. Then weekends are 7 days/week.
Time = Distance / Speed.
Therefore: travel more distance, or move at slower speed.
If you find out please let me know because I could use the whole week being longer. I have custom orders, wholesale orders, dwindling regular stock that need to be replenished, just moved to a brand new apartment, and need to finish my taxes (which is long and involved if you have a business).
Go faster. Einstein says it works.
Get into a spaceship and accelerate to a relativistic velocity. If the time dialation doesn’t do it for you, being alone in deep space will leave you plenty of spare time to catch up on your reading.
I’m starting to think none of you are going to invest in my time factory unless I put it on a spaceship.
@Elyse: I’m only aware of one freelance Time Lord, and he’s fairly hard to contact. Tends to just show up at the worst of times.
You need a time turner. Too bad Dumbledore is dead.
@Skept-artist:
Um… I don’t know how this is going to make my weekend longer, but hell if I’m not trying it!
@TheCzech:
This is one of those nerd references I’m not getting, I think.
@Akusai:
WHAT! HE’S WHAT?!
@Elyse: Perhaps getting laid by a Time Lord will do the trick. Winning the lottery and hiring a maid and nanny is reputed to help but then the maid steals your jewels and spiralarchitect runs off with the nanny. Guess I’d just slog on like the rest of us.
@Elyse: Yeah, so far the mashed potatoes haven’t prolonged my weekend, but the resulting food coma might. They were SO fucking good.
I recommend adoption of the 25-hour day. If we split each day into 25 parts, instead of 24, each would have about 57 (old) minutes. We wouldn’t really miss the extra three minutes, and we’d have a whole extra hour each and every day! The rule is that you have the use the extra hour to do something that you want to do, that will make your day or life work better. Any takers?
It’s simple, all you need to do is invent a time machine, build two copies (one packed up so it can be carried by the other). Then you go back in time, give one time machine to your current self then set up the second machine and go back to your own time.
If you haven’t seen your future self yet then its either because creating a closed timelike curve is impossible or you’re a terrible slacker (or both, I guess).
You can’t.
Make the Earth bigger. This should slow its rotation thus making the days longer. Hey presto, more time!
(I can’t believe I’m the first to offer up this solution)
I’m with tbro on this one. I’ve been an advocate of the 25 h day for a long time. It works because we tend to schedule on the hour. We never miss the three minutes borrowed from each one.
I also once sent a note to my congressman about Daylight Savings Day, that we’d lose a day (on a Friday at midnight flip the calendar to Saturday) in the Fall and then gain a day (on Monday at midnight flip it back to Sunday) in the spring. This also reclaims useful time with marginal loss.
Probably another entry in my file.
The other- insomnia. I didn’t sleep for more than 2-3 h a night for years. Really productive time until it caught up with me.
I’ve often contemplated the possibility of a “Sleep Pod” in which time travels much faster than the outside world. You get in, and go to sleep. Get a full nights rest, when to the rest of the world only 10 minutes go by. This could also be used for ovens, or an inverse for a fridge.
Become a zombie!
(Vampires only spend their extra time being creepy stalkers, watching the love of their “life” , which they cannot have sex with, sleep.)
HOWEVER, while zombies do have a heroin addiction-like fixation on brains, being one requires little personal maintenance, freeing up some time to accomplish other tasks. And you could use that steadfastness that is used to acquire to brains, to beat procrastination instead, thereby encouraging an overall greater output.
You can’t change time, but you can change yourself! =D
The obvious answer is to clone yourslef, then you have twice as much time on your hands!
Only do things you hate to do. Subjectively, time will seems to slow to an incredible degree.