Icelandic Elf Sex
Props to my Icelandic friend Hjalti, aka Captain Awesome, for sending me this intriguing look at the national pastime:
“I think it will make the world a better place, if more people have sex with elves, basically.”
Props to my Icelandic friend Hjalti, aka Captain Awesome, for sending me this intriguing look at the national pastime:
“I think it will make the world a better place, if more people have sex with elves, basically.”
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24 Comments
ZenMonkey
12.28.2009
Is there any evolutionary connection between glimmering elf sperm and glittering vampires?
Elyse
12.28.2009
Am I the only one who watched this thinking, “Lady, I think you just had sex with a hobo.”
Elyse
12.28.2009
And then I thought “WTF WTF WTF???” And tried to wake myself and console myself at the same time
martian_bob
12.28.2009
Found this lady’s blog… even more disturbing.
http://elftruths.blogspot.com/
From her post on Friday, June 16, 2006:
“Just go into the garden behind the building and sit in the grass or on a bench and there are good chances an ELF will aproach you. Be sure though not to confuse the bums that sometimes hang out there with elves…”
Nick Morgan
12.28.2009
Can I get a bowl of whatever it is that she’s smoking?
OnlyCheryl
12.28.2009
Oooo! They are tall and beautiful and their skin emits light. I think she is channeling Stephanie Meyer.
jk
12.28.2009
You ain’t had anything until you’ve had an elfgasm.
MiddleMan
12.28.2009
I think her head’s stuck in her fantasy of joining the elves’s “fellowship of the cock-ring”.
ph423r
12.28.2009
Aw, I’m bummed out to find out its woo. When I saw the “Please yoursELF” cover before the video started I was thinking they were trying to promote pleasing your sElf.
busterggi
12.28.2009
Like every D&D geek didn’t know this decades ago.
exarch
12.28.2009
I think there’s something about Iceland that makes people go fucked in the head. Look at Björk.
Same thing with Alaska.
Maybe it’s the cold. Or the snow.
Chelsea
12.28.2009
So if I’m walking around in nature and some dude appears, saying dirty things, I should get up on his shoulders and let him perform oral sex? Interesting concept. Does he have his own dental dam, or do I need to carry one consistently?
exarch
12.28.2009
I keep waiting for the mouse-over to reveal the joke I missed, but alas, I fear Randall Munroe had no hand in this …
Steve
12.28.2009
Oddly enough, neither elfsex.com nor elfsextourism.com are registered. Somebody should get on that.
exarch
12.28.2009
@Steve:
“Oddly enough, neither elfsex.com nor elfsextourism.com are registered.”
That genuinly surprises me.
More so because this circumvents the typical confusion between the meaning of “fantasy” in literature and games and the rather unspecific meaning used in porn. (Or rather, accidentally stumbling upon stuff you weren’t really looking for when searching for “fantasy creatures” or something, or worse, “fantasy costumes”, yikes!)
It has to be someone‘s fetish …
Elyse
12.28.2009
@Chelsea:
Yes. Let him. He probably has a built in dental dam because he’s an elf who is always having oral sex anyway.
But remember: don’t ask to pee on him. Elves think that’s weird. Which is good advice since, being human, I’m ALWAYS asking people if I can pee on them when I meet them in the middle of a field and just start having sex.
I’m sure this girl’s mother is very proud.
Anthony
12.28.2009
I don’t want to come across as sexist but this woman looks perfectly attractive, albeit crazy, to me. Can she really have trouble finding someone non-mythical to have sex with?
I had heard Japan was having trouble with men not wanting to be masculine enough and now I hear that apparently Icelandic women are having to turn to elves to get their jollies. Based on gender statistics I didn’t think we had a crisis of penis but apparently we do.
Our government should look into some kind of sexual stimulus program. Enzyte for everyone!
James K
12.28.2009
If these elves look like Liv Tyler, then I’m in.
capheind
12.28.2009
Somehow I picture this woman, high on everything the Icelandic corner street pharmacist has to offer being violated by a Hobo….
Mark Hall
12.29.2009
I reposted this on a message board. One member responded with
“I swear… you sttep foot in iceland and suddenly you become at least moderately attractive, and you become this overwhelming nympho freak.”
cacrosdale
12.30.2009
Elf costume rental: $80
Plane ticket to Iceland: $700
Tundra elf-sex with crazy Icelandic hottie: priceless
exarch
12.31.2009
@James K:
“If these elves look like Liv Tyler, then I’m in.”
I’m afraid they probably look like Steve Tyler though …
JawsForJesus
01.07.2010
That’s hottest woman I’ve ever seen, saying the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.
My penis and my brain are fighting.
NasaGirl
04.18.2010
Let me tell you about my elf experience. Once I dated a guy who was 6″ shorter than me…
Yup, that’s it. Yes, it felt like dating an elf, and I felt like an AMAZON! =D It lasted about 3 weeks.
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