506 Sex Tips from Cosmotopian Magazine
“For the pleasure of your man . . . touch him upon the penis.”
About the author
Rebecca leads a team of skeptical female activists at Skepchick.org and appears on the weekly Skeptics' Guide to the Universe podcast. She travels around the world delivering entertaining talks on science, atheism, feminism, and skepticism. There is currently an asteroid orbiting the sun with her name on it. You can follow her every fascinating move on Twitter: @rebeccawatson.
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cubiksrube
12.07.2009
What him upon the what now?
You know, that’s so crazy it just might work…
Thermy
12.07.2009
GOLD! I’m still laughing!
Opcn
12.07.2009
Boy Sid is a lucky man now.
phlebas
12.07.2009
You don’t really need all 506. Choose them right, and 4 or 5 of them will be plenty, if you do them WELL and OFTEN.
anonentity
12.07.2009
Is this the kind of smut that is being posted here now?
If so, please continue.
Thank you.
Zapski
12.07.2009
It’s about time.
Jen
12.07.2009
If I ever see that Queen Victoria tagline on the cover of a magazine, I’m instantly buying at least three subscriptions.
truthwalker
12.07.2009
I…it…I’m….satire circuits overloaded…moral quandary caused by confusion about which is better: constant sexual gratification or meaningful sex in the context of love……system fail.
***REBOOT MALE? Y/N****
Elyse
12.07.2009
QUICK! Someone touch @truthwalker on the penis!
pcawley1964
12.07.2009
When you ask a guy what he’s thinking and he doesn’t have an answer, this IS the answer (just probably not you doing it)
Siveambrai
12.07.2009
I sent this to a male friend of mine. His suggestion was: “It might be a little weird, but I want to order stickers that say ‘Touch him on the penis’ and plaster them on any magazine that mentions “## ways to please your man”.”
Zapski
12.07.2009
@Siveambrai: That is an idea full of WIN. I encourage his efforts.
Elyse
12.07.2009
@Siveambrai:
1000 stickers for $35:
http://gotprint.net/g/uploadSticker.do
Now he has to.
Rebecca
12.07.2009
@Siveambrai: Oh man, that’s brilliant! Just like the XKCD “Actual Size” stickers:
http://store.xkcd.com/xkcd/#ActualSizeStickers
busterggi
12.07.2009
Ah but then my question is “touch him on the penis with what?”
See, there are many answers.
James Fox
12.07.2009
Always good to see education combined with humor.
Grand Lunar
12.07.2009
With advice like this, I have to wonder what else we can expect?
“Secret to long life: Breathe as long as possible!”
IBY
12.07.2009
Hhmmm… Never read cosmopolitan, so I don’t get the satire. Although it is really funny, I say.
truthwalker
12.07.2009
This is an on going joke between my wife and I actually. How will cosmo tell women super secrets of sex that are actually just touching his penis?
Joshua Zelinsky
12.07.2009
There’s also the related issue that a lot of the advice Cosmopolitan and others actually give sounds potentially damaging or painful.
See http://www.cracked.com/article/156_7-sex-tips-from-cosmo-that-will-put-you-in-hospital/ for some relevant commentary.
Paradym
12.08.2009
So, when my wife and I first met, being the very open couple that we are, she asked me what turned me on, what were my erogenous zones, etc. I had only one answer and she still quotes it to this day:
“Focus on the penis. It’s all about the penis.”
Now I have video evidence to support my theory.
willbxtn
12.09.2009
Wow, not only is that phenomenally accurate in its portrayal of men, it’s got Cosmo down to a T too…
kd9280
12.11.2009
Awesome. Tried not to laugh, but I failed.
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