A common complaint of alien-visitation skeptics is that we should have more evidence, considering the proliferation of technology that allows us to photograph and communicate every detail of every moment of our lives. Since so many people have digital cameras at the ready, why isn’t Flickr flooded with ETs?
Finally, though, we’ve found our first live-Tweeted alien abduction. Last night, Twitter user @Randazzoj Tweeted the following:
WTF!!! Anyone else in Brooklyn/NYC seeing this UFO?! http://twitpic.com/hnkqc
Randazzo continued updating Twitter with info on the UFO, before this happened:
The story is still developing as Randazzo continues to Tweet his experiences, but apparently it has yet to break into the mainstream.
Because your Skepchicks are always on the cutting edge, we decided to investigate this a little more closely before the media gets a hold of it. While Randazzo’s photos and personal correspondences are very convincing, there are a number of problems we discovered that lead us to believe that he may not be telling the truth:
1. UFOs have been in the news a lot lately, since Wednesday when astronaut Kevin Ford’s pee put on a light show as it was ejected from Discovery. Events like this can convince more people to look to the skies and misidentify normal objects (like the space station, bright planets, planes, and even the moon) as possible alien crafts. This appears to be happening in New Jersey, where two elderly women claimed to see “the Gorey UFO” Friday, prompting others to join in with their own spooky stories of mysterious lights in the sky.
2. Randazzo’s photos look suspiciously like a blimp.
3. Randazzo’s Tweets are being uploaded alternately from Twitterfon and by computer on Twitter.com. This is strange because, as my fellow Skepchick Elyse noted, “Who logs on to their laptop while being abducted by aliens? Your iPhone, though… yeah, you’re totally going to grab that and tweet. But not your laptop. That’s just ridiculous.”
4. Do aliens have wi-fi or another way to connect a laptop to the Internet? And would cell reception even be good on a spaceship? I was just in New York and found a number of dead spots where my iPhone wouldn’t work.
5. Is it even possible to Tweet via Twitterfon or otherwise while being anally probed? At press time, we were unable to locate any porn stars on Twitter to confirm or deny this, so we’re hoping that those with experience with this type of multitasking might leave a comment below.
6. What kind of alien visits Brooklyn? Don’t be fooled by movies like Independence Dayâ€”the facts show that most abductions occur in rural ‘Merica, usually late at night on dark country roads where innocent men in pick-ups are terrorized by our galactic neighbors. When’s the last time you saw a Park Slope baby beamed out of its $3,000 carriage?
7. Randazzo is editor of The Onion.
Perhaps when Randazzo is returned to this planet (hopefully mostly intact), he’ll grant Skepchick an interview about his experiences. Don’t worry, everyone, we’ll get to the bottom of this!