Afternoon Inquisition

AI: Help me pick you up in a bar

Carrie’s recent post on Bill Prady’s keynote speech at TAM has been causing a lot of commotion, but most of it is about appropriate attire for women at TAM or in general. If you want to talk about necklines, that’s fine… go over there and talk away. I want to bring this back to the Bill Prady comment that if you want to get laid, you should tell a girl that she has “incredible eyes” and not talk science with her.

But science is hot! And smart is hot! Smart is the reason I want to leave my husband to run off with Jon Stewart. Smart is why I had to clear the upstairs at the Skepchick Villa so certain unnamed Skepchicks could have a conversation with a certain unnamed neurologist from the SGU podcast. Smart is why I will never get over my girl-crush on Rebecca and the reason Rebecca will never get over her girl-crush on Genie Scott. Smart is what brings us together, here at Skepchick, today. Smart is sexy. And most of us just don’t care for come-ons like “You have such incredible eyes”.

What would be a better pick-up line to use on you? If a person of your preferred gender walked up to you in a bar, how would you want them to complete this phrase, “You have such incredible ______.” Or would you honestly want to hear about your eyes?

The Afternoon Inquisition (or AI) is a question posed to you, the Skepchick community. Look for it to appear daily at 3pm ET.

Elyse

Elyse MoFo Anders is the bad ass behind forming the Women Thinking, inc and the superhero who launched the Hug Me! I'm Vaccinated campaign as well as podcaster emeritus, writer, slacktivist extraordinaire, cancer survivor and sometimes runs marathons for charity. You probably think she's awesome so you follow her on twitter.

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102 Comments

  1. “You have such incredible taste in books. What’s the last thing you read by Arthur C. Clarke?”

    To which I would reply, “I’m currently reading Time’s Eye, which he wrote with Stephen Baxter, one of the last things published before he died.”

  2. Please. Pick-up lines are lame, unless you’re REALLY creative and just trying to be silly or funny, rather than seriously trying to pick me up. If you really want to talk to me, say hi and start a conversation. Don’t give me some lame, insincere pick-up line. That includes some lame comment about my eyes.

    Also, am I the only woman who is uncomfortable with guys randomly buying you drinks? I always feel obligated to talk to them or something even if I have no desire whatsoever. I’m at my dive bar, looking to get drunk and have fun with my friends, not pick up on dudes wearing Nascar T-shirts and shit kickers, okay?!

  3. Well, the phrasing might be a bit off for walking up to someone in a bar, like you could make a nice comment about someone’s synapses, even though you (presumably) can’t see them. If I weren’t married and my wife, as a stranger, walked up to me in a bar, I’d love to hear her say ‘hey, nice Sonic Youth t-shirt’. I mean afterall, we need SOMETHING to latch on to right off the bat.

  4. I would want to hear, and I have heard, “You have such an incredible bicycle.” When I go out drinking with my Brompton I generally fold it up and take it inside with me. In Boulder it’s better than a baby and a puppy put together for starting a conversation (although I bet a baby/puppy hybrid would get lots more attention). Generally the people that find a folding bicycle interesting are exactly the sort of people I want to talk to.

    I’ll admit, however, that I have never been picked up in a bar nor have I attempted to pick anyone up. I’ve only dated people who I’ve been friends with first. Isn’t this fairly common in geek/skeptic/science circles?

  5. First: Yes, smart is sexy (to most of us). But to be sexy, it requires thought by the observer; by the one perceiving the sexiness. It’s sexy in the “choosing a long-term mate” kind of way. Or in the “that’s my fantasy man/woman” kind of way. Or in the “I see some of myself in that person” kind of way. It’s sexy in someone you already know — as another in an amalgom of traits.

    Sexy in the “first glimpse triggers a desire to pick that person up in a bar and do wonderfully crazy physical things with” kind of way, is primitive. It’s a snap mental and physical reaction based on visual cues that get your juices flowing. That shit’s hardwired in us.

    So, second: If my snap feeling was “she’s a slammin’ hottie”, it wouldn’t matter what that person filled in the blank with. It wouldn’t matter if the person couldn’t speak that sentence coherently. The first step of the pick-up would have already happened.

    But stupid is powerful. It can smother the initial flames in a very short time period. Of course, I usually give it at least two or three dozen encounters to be sure the stupid is not just a phase.

  6. The ones that have been used on me the most were:
    1) “I love your voice its so sexy”
    2) “Your eyes are so sexy.”
    3) “You’re so tall, can I see your hands.”

    Nowadays I think
    “I’m your wife and its time to go home”
    will be the most effective.

  7. I agree with Sam. That’s kinda why I was surprised by the reaction to Prady’s line :) Certainly that shit would not have worked in the South Point bar on that weekend, but I don’t think TAM attendees represent the average human.

    I’ve never found a pickup line that I would be comfy using. But I’ve never really wanted to pick up a stranger and hop straight into the sack anyway. Between not picking up strangers and not drinking, I don’t have a lot of reasons to wander into a bar.

    It’s why I don’t go into strip clubs, no matter how much castigation I got from heidiho in Atlantic City :) If I feel like looking at random nude girls, I can do it online where I don’t pay a cover charge, don’t have my feet stick to the floor, and won’t ruin anyone else’s night if I want to go someplace else.

  8. The best pick up line ever used on me was a guy who knelt down in front of me and sang me a song that he made up on the spot. It was pretty good and funny. Unless you can do something creative like that stick to; “Hi my name is _____. I couldn’t help noticing you. Would you like a drink.”

  9. @Elyse: Well, I’d want to hear no pick-up lines, to be honest. Just say hello. Unless, as Pinkbunny said, you’re really creative or funny. Otherwise I will roll my eyes and turn back to my friends. If you say, “Hello, my name is….” and start a conversation, you’re much more likely to keep my attention.

  10. I happen to enjoy being told I’m pretty, regardless of the feature. My current husband once told me semi-drunkenly that I had nice calves (referring to my legs, and not baby cows) and I hung on that comment for quite some time.

    That being said, I worked with him, considered him a friend, and was developing a serious crush on him at the time. If some random person (male or female) came up to me and complimented my physical appearance, I would not have had the same positive reaction.

    I think I would prefer something like, “You have such incredible taste in ____”, depending on the situation. For instance, were we at a bar, it could be alcohol. A restaurant? Food. This is more a compliment on who I am mentally than physically, and is likely to be more flattering to me.

    The conversation had better turn quickly from compliments to something with some kind of substance, too.

  11. @“Other” Amanda: Oh yeah, compliments from someone you’ve had some time with is a good thing. Sincere compliments are always awesome. But for the most part, pick-up lines in bars aren’t sincere.

    You make a good point about, “You have good taste in___.” I’ve gotten, “Ooooh, I like Jack too!’ which resulted in a round of Jack shots and a new friend.

    Though I must admit, if a pretty girl instead of some random guy came up to me and gave me some cheesy pick-up line, I’d probably be all over that. Probably because it NEVER HAPPENS. :(

  12. I find that it really doesn’t matter which pickup line you use: Nice eyes, come here often, what’s your sign, you remind me of Marie Curie. It’s still going to be interpreted as: “blah blah blah blah wanna fuck?” At least in a bar situation. And unless you got the Brad Pitt looks (in which case you probably could just skip the rhetoric and say “wanna fuck”) the answer is generally going to be, “I think my friend is calling me.”

    Perhaps this is uber-geeky, but the sexiest thing a woman has said to me by way of intro (whether she was trying to pick me up or not) is some variation on “What are you reading?” Of course, these were instances on the train, at the park or somewhere else patently “non-meat market” where my reading didn’t look out of place.

  13. @Elyse: “Hmmm… this is turning out to be less fun than I imagined. I’m never going to be able to have sex with any of you at this rate. You’re no help!”

    Even if I offered to let you ride my bicycle?

  14. I’d like to hear. “You dont have to call me doctor, you can call me Steve.” Oh wait… I already heard that… High five Jill!

    Seriously though, its not the pick up line that matters, it is the conversation that follows.

  15. Back before I got married, I would have been at least mildly flattered by anything nicer than “you have such incredible courage, coming out in public looking like that. Is that congenital, or did you wander into the wrong end of an industrial ugly press? ”

    Nowadays, I’m more turned on by “the baby is asleep.”

  16. To answer the AI question, “You have such incredible skills in bed, can we do it again tonight?” is likely to be fairly effective.

    I actually don’t think I’ve ever met someone in a bar or noght spot that I ever saw or spoke to again outside of said bar or night spot.

  17. I concur with Mari and Sam. If you haven’t talked to someone at all how do you know they are smart? In the interest of full disclosure I’ve never used a pickup line and am, in fact, horrendous at the whole ‘flirting’ thing. My wife likes to say that she needn’t worry about me hooking up with someone at a conference because I have no game whatsoever even if I had the inclination (which I don’t).

    All said, I’ll answer that the line “You have such incredible taste in music.” would get me very interested indeed.

  18. To further my candidacy for King Prude of All Skeptics, I’m gonna go ahead and say I’m unpickupable in most circumstances.

    I don’t go out looking to get laid, or expecting other people to look at me and want to lay me (call it years of conditioning to the contrary!)

    Further, I don’t think I’ve ever believed a compliment I’ve been given, so coming up to me and telling me you like my eyes or something is a non-starter.

    You’d have better luck, perhaps, telling me that you like whichever geeky t-shirt I might be wearing (or better yet if you know where it came from). But even then I’m probably not going home with you.

    No, your best bet is to strike up a conversation with me, show interest, understand that the interest is mutual, and then seek further contact. Then perhaps we’ll get together another time, talk more, get to learn a bit about each other, and THEN, we’ll see.

    In other words: I’m a very old fashioned, boring, vanilla person when it comes to dating and relationships. I move slowly, see only one person at a time, have a hyper-sensitive BS/trustworthiness meter, and am far too nervous to handle situations like that without a breather to think.

    Yep. I’m a prude :-P

  19. If he was doing a simple physical attraction, I’d finish that line with “c**k”. (I’m not sure how well that word would fly here.)

    But, if he were interested in my mind, I’d like to hear something along the lines of…

    I couldn’t help but notice the big 5×5 on your iPod. You listen to SGU also? I love how they’re all big geeks, but they aren’t above the occasional potty humor. Who knew sciecentists had such a sense of humor!?”

    But, I’d have to slap him. He’s obviously been oogling my brain instead of keeping his eyes where they belong…on my butt.

  20. When a woman walks up to me at a bar and says,

    You have such incredible ______

    I like them to fill in the blank with

    “Testicles cupped in my hand right now!”

    Trust me, it takes it to be that obvious for me to get pickup lines top register with me.

    I agree with Marilove…..Pickup lines are aboot as lame as can be, and the type of person who swoons over mindless, transparent comments on physical characteristics are usually the type of person I’m not interested in.

    Don’t get me wrong, if someone has “purdy eyes”, I’m not going to shy away from telling them as such, but I’ve always thought that women could see through it if were a ploy. There are several motivations to tell someone that, and trying to “pick them up” might be one of the most disingenuous and dishonest reason to say an otherwise nice thing.

    It should also be noted, that I am single, so maybe a new tactic is in order. Maybe I could bring a water-gun to the bar. Women like guys with water-guns, right? I’m sure of it.

  21. Gotta give it some class. “Nice shoes. Make love to me, darling.”

    Er-hem. Or so I imagine. Count me among those never picking or picked up.

    In seriousness, though, regarding Prady’s keynote: He wasn’t saying that science won’t work when picking up women. He was saying that science won’t work when picking up a woman who just gave you a detailed account of her horoscope.

    Which clarification isn’t to absolve him of anything, mind you! In fact, I’m more upset about what he’s implying about skeptical outreach than what he’s implying about picking up chicks.

  22. If someone walked up to me in a bar and tried to pick me up, they would have to say, “You’ve got such incredible allergic reactions to beer and other contaminantes at this bar.” Of course, I would be so touched that I’d wouldn’t be able to resist going all anaphylactic.

  23. Way back in my single days, I had a test question. I swore that I would never date anyone who couldn’t answer it. It was simple – “What is the Rosetta stone?”

    Most people would stare blankly. Some would make something up on the spot (got some great answers there, very amusing. Sometimes the wrong answer is just as good as the right one for the purposes of conversation.)

    Then there was this one guy who replied casually “What, the black granite stele found by Napoleon’s army, used to decipher hieroglyphics?” Nine years later, we’re still discussing antiquity together.

    Worst pick up line in the world? “So whatcha reading?” said by the person who doesn’t care.

  24. @Aaron: And, I know a few people who are way into astrology yet are otherwise really smart and into science. My friend Kristal comes to mind. She’s very intelligent but a little, um, flighty and so she’s sometimes mistaken for being dim, but she’s really not. Even if she believes that her being an Aries actaully means something.

  25. I don’t know what you could say that would be blatant enough. I am frustratingly dim when it comes to the opposite sex making advances, apparently (and certainly infrequently) I have women hit on me and I remain blissfully and completely unaware until told by a third party later.

    Although at other times, just generally being nice to me may indicate to some twisted part of my brain that you are interested, and I will probably spend the better part of the next few months soft-stalking you.

  26. I’m probably going to get stoned here, but I wasn’t offended by Bill Prady’s speach.

    I don’t know if he used the best example to get his point across, but what I took from it was that you can’t get along with the average person in the “real world” if you go around correcting everything they say.

    If you really want to get along with people, you have to be nice to them. Really, regardless of your goals, is telling a woman she has pretty eyes an offensive remark? It’s just nice. A few men at TAM told me that I’m pretty and it didn’t piss me off at all. Why would it?

    On the other hand, if a woman *really* believes in Astrology and you start “educating” her about how wrong astrology is she’s unlikely to resond with a “WOW! You’re totally right I’ll stop believing in this non-sense!”. The more likely result is that she’ll think you’re a know it all jerk who is insulting her and will walk away having learned nothing.

    If our goal is to teach people about science *all* the freaking time without regard to the person we are talking to or the situation that we’re in, aren’t we just as bad as the religious zealots who are trying to shove dogma down our throats all the time?

  27. Any compliment regarding attributes I have no control over (body, face ect) I will smile at but its really not that impressive to me.

    If someone commented on my clothing choice that’s a step better. Still centered only on my appearance, but I dress myself so they are now appealing to a deliberate decision that I made. Physical compliments are alright, but I prefer to hear them after someone has found out why I’m really awesome.

    But what I really what to hear is “You have the most amazing taste in books” as they notice the Jared Diamond tome next to my Tom Collins.

  28. Well, I do folkdancing, and a line that worked on me before I met my wife was something to the effect that the other person really liked my dance style. With my wife there was no one line, but I was sold when it became clear that she lusted after geeks.

    But I find that I tell her that she’s beautiful more than I tell her that she’s smart. That seems to be a function of seeing her beauty constantly while only perceiving her intelligence when I talk with her or recall conversations with her. Also, she seems pretty secure with knowledge of her intelligence but is less certain of her attractiveness. That’s how I can see that even a geek-girl might like to hear that she has beautiful eyes. But you’d better have something more than that so offer.

  29. The difference between me and @Expatria is that I’m the one nursing a single beer all night whilst not being picked up. I just worked out the figures: since graduating high school, I’ve been hit on once every 83.2 weeks, on average. None of them were particularly successful.

  30. @LadyMitris:

    . . . you can’t get along with the average person in the “real world” if you go around correcting everything they say.

    True enough, but I was taken aback that the only options Prady offered were self-assured argument and empty compliment.

    I found it particularly glaring in light of his defense of the character Penny on “The Big Bang Theory,” whom he argued was not a dumb caricature but rather very smart, despite her belief in astrology (sorta like marilove’s friend). I wonder, would Penny fall for a “purdy eyes” line?

  31. The first thing I talked to my fiance about was a hike & bike trail. That pretty much set the tone for the rest of our relationship up to this point.

    I’ve never had much luck with any specific compliments (i.e. You have incredible _____ ), but getting her to tell you about herself, and then actually remembering it and bringing it up later in the night, has worked pretty well.

  32. I met my first girlfriend when I asked what she tasted like. Wasn’t actually trying to pick her up, though, so maybe it doesn’t count.

    Since then I’ve relied on less effective lines like, “mumble mumble.”

    As for women trying to pick me up, I’ve had actual poetry once (my stunned silence kind of spoiled that) and more attempts to communicate with the tongue more directly than speech.

  33. @Aaron:

    Which just goes to show how little experience Bill Prady has with talking skepticism, either on the Internet, in bars or anywhere else. One would be more effective as a skeptic and as somebody trying to chat over drinks if one had an actual, you know, discussion. When approached with a “I’m a Libra, what are you?” spiel, why not return with, “I don’t know. I was born September 12 — what does that make me?” From there, depending on the way the conversation turns, bring in a little “Do you ever wonder where those names came from?” or “Who do you suppose divided the year up like that in the first place?” or maybe even “If you really want to see animals in the sky, let’s go back to my place and get fucking high.” Depending on the context, you know.

  34. @Aaron & @LadyMitris:

    See, that’s the thing. THAT was a great message. “Don’t evangelize.” But what it turned into was “if she believes in astrology she’s not even interested in having any conversation at all about anything intelligent so just tell her she has great eyes.” But I bet if you actively, politely, intellectually, and sympathetically discussed astrology with her and later told her, “I’m really glad I asked you about that. You’re quite smart.” You’re going to have a much better shot at going home with her phone number.

    Chicks would MUCH rather hear, “You’re smart.” Than “You’re pretty.” And that doesn’t apply only to skeptic ladies. It’s a really fantastic and rare thing to hear… or, at least it is for me.

    But anyway, you can still have a conversation about science and critical thinking without being clinical and boring about it… and I think that’s where Prady missed the mark.

  35. Nice eyes has never worked on me and especially not after one of my friends stared at me for like 45 minutes when he was stoned because he said my eyes kept changing colors.

    Just don’t bother with pickup lines. Saying hi and starting a conversation is so much more effective. If you need some way to break the ice ask what the last book I read was or what’s my favorite cephalopod.

  36. @Elyse: LOL. That would be the second proposal I’ve had this week.

    Discussing Skepchick in meatspace>>”perhaps we should get hitched”>>Two bottles of wine>>”will you marry me?”>>MOTHER of all rows>>crying mrs S>>Russell sleeping on sofa sans “sexytime” while I reconsider my position and “stop being a selfish c*nt”

  37. Oh, wait, I forgot the time I met a woman by speaking to her in arabic. The only sentences I could remember were “You’re a pretty woman” and “I’m a tall chair.” Not much, but it worked.

    So the moral of the story seems to be that a comfortable level of self-confidence is essential, presented in a way that suggests you’re comfortable enough to be an idiot with the other person, but not trying to boss them around. At least that’s what seems to work for me, whether I’m asking or being or asked.

  38. Hi there!

    Really, there are actually men here that are formulating the type of “pick-up line” that a woman would have to use on them in order to get them into bed? Seriously?

    See, for me it would be: “I am a not hideously unattractive female above age of consent but younger than your mother and not mind-numbingly unintelligent who is willing to make out with you, with some light to heavy petting and will at least entertain the notion of having full-on coitus with you”.

    She wouldn’t need to SAY this, of course, she would just have to BE this. Beyond that, anything she says would work. She could recite the names of succession to the British Crown for all I care.

    Assuming of course, that my wife were standing next to me and said something along the lines of: “Well ordinarily I would be very much opposed to you having extramarital sex with a total stranger, but for the next few hours I WILL allow you the open marriage that you’ve long desired, if only because I am a hypothetical version of your actual wife that you are using to illustrate a point on the Skepchick blog”.

    Well maybe not that last little bit. That would take some of the fun out of it. :(

  39. Ones that have worked on me:
    – “Talk nerdy to me” (actually an email subject)
    – “Has anyone ever told you, you look like ___?”
    …and, if we’re going to be honest about it…
    – “Hello”

  40. @marilove:

    Please. Pick-up lines are lame, unless you’re REALLY creative and just trying to be silly or funny, rather than seriously trying to pick me up. If you really want to talk to me, say hi and start a conversation. Don’t give me some lame, insincere pick-up line. That includes some lame comment about my eyes.

    Also, am I the only woman who is uncomfortable with guys randomly buying you drinks? I always feel obligated to talk to them or something even if I have no desire whatsoever. I’m at my dive bar, looking to get drunk and have fun with my friends, not pick up on dudes wearing Nascar T-shirts and shit kickers, okay?!

    I support this message.

  41. I’ll play! I’m a physics nerd, so:

    “You have such an incredible moment of inertia!”

    “You have such incredible potential energy. I’d love to help convert it to kinetic energy!”

    “You lower my melting point!”

    “Wanna help me calculate the vector of my projectile?”

    “You increase my coefficient of thermal expansion!”

    OK, not sure any of those would work on me…

  42. “Read any good books lately?” That might give me pause enough to converse. I don’t have much experience in picking up or being picked up, but one surefire trick I know is to offer to tell him a joke which involves climbing into and bouncing up and down on his lap.

  43. @Elyse:

    Chicks would MUCH rather hear, “You’re smart.” Than “You’re pretty.”

    As a pick-up line?

    Am I confused about what a pick-up line is? I thought it was an opening salvo :) If someone I had not spoken to walked up and told me I was smart, I would wonder what was going on…

  44. Actually Jen’s response to someone else was a GREAT pick-up line:

    “I was under the impression all I needed was whipped cream. Is that in fact incorrect?”

    Oddly out of place and yet quite an interesting conversation starter. And in actual big people words! Beats the heck out of some lame line or the more straight to the point “wanna f*&k?” In other words, I’d prefer something amusing, non sequitur, or just plain goofy.

  45. I can’t believe I forgot this! If somebody walked up to me and said this, I can’t guarantee that I would be able to maintain my wedding vows…

    “’ello, Sue. I’ve got legs. Do you like bread? I’ve got a French loaf. Bye! I love you”

    Marilove will get it.

  46. @Elyse: Awe they’re both are so cute! You wouldn’t believe the number of “So you’re getting rid of the dogs right?” comments I get when I tell people we are expecting. You should do a skeptical take on pitbulls and breed specific legislation. The amount of misconceptions around the breed astounds me. And in my personal experience most of the people that really hate pit bulls have never met one and couldn’t identify one if they were bending over petting it on the head. I was actually asked if our brindle girl was a chocolate lab by a man that went on and on about how he thought pits should be banned.

  47. @Pinkbunny:

    Yeah… I need to do that. I’ll put it on my list!

    It really is amazing how many people think Zoe is beautiful and sweet and then, after getting 5 minutes worth of kisses from her, ask what breed she is. After I tell them, you can almost see their hair turn white and stand on end as they back up in utter terror. SHE’S STILL THE SAME FUCKING DOG SHE WAS 12 SECONDS AGO!

  48. “You have such incredible chances of getting in my pants if you let me buy you a drink. Wanna play pool first?” I’m of the easy variety, and it wouldn’t take much to get my attention. But if not something direct, something silly is good. I’ve had good luck introducing myself to people at parties by pulling out a good joke or two in their presence, and using that as a start. Or, as I did with the lady I’m with now, it was a costume party, so I said she had a nice dagger, and that I once won a dagger in a limerick contest. It’s +1 against men from Nantucket.

  49. Of course any line would work on me if I found the woman moderately attractive. Then I’d talk about me until she got bored and moved on.

    And derivative though it may be I have to complete the given phrase thus:

    You have such incredible eyes. Do you think our alleles could combine to give any of our children such eyes?

  50. Hi there!

    Ooh, I can’t believe I forgot this one!

    Guys, I have it on good authority that the Best Pick Up Line ever, if you use it properly, is to put a sympathetic hand on the girl’s shoulder, look directly into her eyes, and say:

    “Try to forget about me. I’m no good for you.”

    My dad tried this one on my mom 39 years ago.

    I’m told it worked. [nods]

  51. @Elyse: Not me. I judge by temperment in dogs, not by breed. Some of the most loving and friendly dogs I know are Pit Bulls. Some toy Poodles are possessed by Satan! ;-) Of course, I have a lot of experience in judging dogs from my rescue experience and I stand by it. I’ve only been bitten once in 9 years and that was more because I discounted my impression of the dog in question.

    @Pinkbunny, Please keep your Pits if you know they are safe. Too many Pits are given up and put down as soon as they get to the shelter. The many suffer because of the irresponsibility of a few…

    I’m probably the only guy here that
    a) has no pickup lines and
    b) has never been hit on by a woman in his entire life.

    Thus, I have nothing to contribute…

  52. Pick up lines never really had much effect on me. But when I met my husband on line, he accidentally came up with a doosy when we met in person.
    I walked into the restaurant for the first date and said, “You must be Shaun.” He blurted out, “…You’re *beautiful*!!” And got very embarassed. It was so obviously innocent and unplanned that I was charmed and felt I could be sure I was safe with him. Not an ax murderer or something. He’s such a cute little nerd. Seriously.

  53. Oh, I may as well mention the most unusual line I know. A FOAF had a boat named, “After You.” he kept a photo of it in his wallet.

    When he met a cute girl he’d ask her name and say, “What a coincidence! I have a boat named after you!” And whip out the photo.

  54. I like it when men appreciate my intelligence and assume that I have it. My best friend and I met in college and we both have degrees in chemical engineering, and fancy-sounding jobs. Unfortunately for her, she thinks that men don’t like smart women (or maybe it’s just women who are smarter than them). Any time things don’t work out with guys we meet at a bar, she’ll assume it’s because we didn’t hide our big brains.

    My job title is spectroscopy, and it’s a weird word that most people haven’t heard of before. When they ask about it, I’ll explain it to them. If they seem interested, I’ll go on. A few weeks ago we were talking to some guys we met at a bar and I was telling them about spectroscopy. One guy seemed especially interested (or maybe he was just interested in me), so I went on about it. Then my friend basically told me to shut up about it because nobody cares. I feel bad for her because she must be very conflicted since she is so smart yet feels the need to hide it.

    Personally, if a guy didn’t like me because I’m too smart, then I wouldn’t be interested in that guy anyway. If all guys were like that, I’d rather be single forever than spend the rest of my life acting dumb. I like it when a guy can have an intelligent conversation and he actually respects my knowledge.

    Pick-up lines don’t work on me. The best line to use is “hi”. I’ll at least have a conversation with anyone who is friendly. But if a guy is just not my type, no amount of charm or clever pick-up lines will make me interested.

  55. I prefer something along the lines of “You look like the most pensive and observant person here and I thought I’d chat you up,” or “I don’t think we’ve met, but your demeanor strikes me as intriguing and perhaps you’d like to talk.”

    Worst pick-up line ever: “I might not be the best looking guy in this club but I’m the only one talking to you.”

  56. This isn’t exactly a pick-up line, but I have some advice for women who are looking for a meaningless one night stand in a bar. The most effective way to pick up a guy that you are talking to is to ask him about his body hair after explaining your preferences (I personally prefer smooth, but a little bit of hair doesn’t bother me). It is amazing how many guys will lift up their shirt for you, especially if there is some alcohol involved. Once you reach that point, it’s pretty easy to get the rest of the clothes off (after you get back to your place, of course).

  57. @dmikeyj: “Huuuuuge… tracts of land” would probably always work on me, as would obscure Star Wars or Spaceballs or Princess Bride references.

    I guess the trick is finding an entry that doesn’t make you feel like an ass using it, and then keep trying it until you find the person who reacts the way you hope they would. “Huuuuuge… tracts of land” would never work on my sister-in-law, for instance, but you could probably “have her with hello.”

  58. @QuestionAuthority: Don’t worry we are keeping the dogs! They both have had experience with kids and do wonderfully. They even let all the screaming neighborhood kids pet them with patience and a few kisses.

    Both our dogs are rescues. The first was given up because she was too much for the previous owner to handle (research your breed people!). The second was abused and came in underweight, full of fleas, worms and terrified of men. She has recovered wonderfully. I’m very passionate about dogs if you couldn’t tell :)

  59. @QuestionAuthority:

    “Much prefer high intelligence in women anyway.”

    Me too. My wife grew up with 2 genius brothers and always assumed that she was just average in intelligence. Then as an adult she found out that one of her brothers always assumed she was more intelligent than him since she was able to negotiate social situations as well as intellectual ones.

  60. The line I’ve always loved, but never could bring myself to use is: “You look like you have a little Norwegian in you.” Followed, if she said yes, by “How’d you like a little more?”

    Would never have worked on the smart ones I like, anyway.

    What would work on me: “Wanna get out of here and go to REI?”

  61. My wife and I are a theoretically open couple. We don’t pursue other people, but would enjoy being pursued. It’s kinda weird though, the only pickups we ever get are incredibly creepy. “How ’bout some sandwich action?” is an example.

    A nice start would be “Hi, you guys look like you are having a great time tonight, why don’t you come over to our table and we’ll talk.”

  62. Wish I’d seen this earlier..

    “Do you have a mirror in your head?”

    “No, why?”

    “Cos I can see myself getting into your Cerebrum”

    although that said, if it was being used on me, I’d probably prefer the original ‘Do you have a mirror in your pants?’ one

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